Dorm

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Does anyone have any stories about the difficulties that they faced when moving into a dorm enviornment with regard to socialization and how they overcame these difficulties?

Yes. I had a roommate the beginning of my freshman year. Big mistake. This was before my AS diagnosis, so I didn't understand why I wasn't social. My old roommate and I are still friends, but I just can't physically live with a person. I solved the problem by getting a single room in November of my freshman year. I've had a single ever since, and it's great. You can ignore everyone on the dorm floor if you want and be all alone in your room.
-OddDuckNash99-

Oh man, can I ever relate.

My first year of Uni happened at a time in my life when I actually began to make friends of my own age/developmental level, and I thought that moving into a dorm would help me develop relationships. I was experiencing a lot of depression and anxiety at the time, and I luckily found a group of friends who not only understanding and tolerant, but also included me like everyone else.

Mind you, it took about a few months and a few panic attacks to get used to their company, but once I did, I found socialization to be a very rewarding experience. I went along with them whenever something was going on, but when I needed some downtime, they understood, but didn't resent me for it. Gradually I got used to being around them and did more things with them. These friends ended up sticking with me and I now consider them my closest.

Now in my third year, I live in a townhouse with 6 caring, supportive ladies, including a great friend that I share the basement with. She's aspiring to be a teacher and thinks that my AS is the neatest thing ever. It just goes to show that if you do have an opportunity for roommates, seek and choose them wisely, and try to be with people who are patient, considerate, and perhaps enjoy whatever quirks you have.

Now I am all the more encouraged not to live in a dorm.... and live at home...

My first roommates were mean to me for the most part, and were loud and keep me up all night. My second was cool at first, till he threaten to beat my ass for not letting him use my stuff. My third, is one of my best friends and we got along great. My fourth and last is pretty cool as well. Just takes time I guess? Don't live at home, unless you don't want to get to know many folks.

Why not just say, heck beer tastes kinda weird and I am not used to it, so hell, no...

Lets see, successful tips for dorm living:

1. Try and get a private room or a suite-style room with a private bedroom.
2. Realize your roommates/suite mates don't want to be asinine towards you, but hey you're a little odd as far as they're concerned.
3. If your roommates/floormates invite you to a social function or want to go out and grab dinner or something similar in order to get to know each other a little bit, do it.

4. Call or e-mail your new roommates before you move in. See who's going to bring what major items.

5. There will be more background noise than at home; make sure you have a white noise generator, ear plugs, a sound machine or something similar if it's going to be a problem.

6. You will have less space (maybe) than at home; minimize the stuff you bring, unless you like clutter.

7. If you're in the United States, most dorms/residence halls have RAs (student employees responsible for a floor/wing/etc) who are there to help you work through any issues with your rommates/floormates.

8. There are also usually hall directors/residence life coordinators/resident coordinators (the title varies) who are in charge of the building and the staff; if you have issues RAs can't help you successfully resolve this person will be better able to help you.

My first year in college I ended up with the roommate from hell. I, being a quiet and fairly reserved person, ended up with someone who enjoyed blasting industrial music from 3 foot high speakers at most hours of the day. My nerves were shot, I had no friends, and I was dealing with extremely difficult classes at a technical university 400 miles from home. Not exactly what I would call fun. I spent most of my time sitting in the corner of the room, on my computer, or watching movies with my headphones on. In general that dorm was just too rowdy for me.

My second year was much better, as I moved into the quiet/alcohol-free/tobacco-free dorm. I was able to start socializing more, though most everyone kept to themselves. I had a small group of friends that I got to know well, and in general having a quiet place to come back to at the end of the day was a wonderful change.

I am now one of the Resident Assistants for that dorm, which has been a wonderful experience. I have my own room, and know everyone in the dorm. I started talking openly about Asperger's one night in the common room here one night and discovered that the majority of us have it! Or at least the group of us that always stick together. I guess that explains why I was able to get along with most everyone in the dorm. Unfortunately, I'm the only one with AS on residential life staff, which makes it very awkward to deal with co-workers.

I guess the bottom line is that I got lucky with finding a group that I fit in with. If your school has a quiet dorm, I would highly recommend it.

i partied my first year of college. we used to snort heroin or coke off toilet seats in the dorm bathroom. good times. I flunked out that year also, but got kicked out of the dorm after about 2 months for possession of narcotics.

I lived at home during college. I didn't even consider moving into a dorm. It would have been a complete disaster.

Well for me, my freshman year at Mason it was a rough and new experience for me. I took the lessons for my freshman year and have used for my sophomore and junior year where big improvements were made. My junior year (current year) is the best since I have roommates who get along with people with well. Best piece of advice is don't use your disability or disabilities as an excuse for things in dorm life.

I got a private room in the "quiet" dorm, and it was a great experience. I didn't make many friends in the dorm, but it was really nice to live right on campus so I could walk to all my classes.

1st Year on dorm: It was a triple.
2nd Year on dorm: Double, but it had somewhat of a party atmosphere.
3rd Year on dorm: A Suite, but I have a private single room.

I could never survive a dorm even with an understanding motherly/big sister type of room mate. I'm going to rent a tennent apartment that consists mostly of grumpy elderly people when I go to college. The kind of elderly people who complain to the manager if someone else so much as drops a pin. Even as a kid, my parents had to make sure I never had to share a room with another little girl because with my insane needs for privacy she would have ended up getting hurt.

I completed a year and half of community college in December and switched to a University out-of-state for this semester. I decided on a school way far from home which was a mistake, but the best place for my major. I am currently right now living in "roommate hell" and the RA's, and counselors won't do nothing about it. Also, I lack health insurance so I can't get diagnosed for disability help. Here is my situation:

My roommate is a fanatic sports fan. And when I mean fanatic he is nuts...He constantly insist that the TV be on sports or "Scrubs" the entire time blaring loud. We have a fathead on our wall, all he can speak about is sports, etc. Furthermore, he must have the super bright overhead light on when he is in the room. Also, EVERY time he comes in the room he strips his shirt off and checks out his "body" in the mirror and then keeps his shirt off.

To further complicate matters he never leaves the room ever....only to go to class, eat, or workout (he is obsessed with working out). He sits on facebook all day or reads/watch sports all day. There is literally nothing else to him other then sports and he doesn't even play any. He refuses to talk to me and since I moved in we have only said maybe a few words. He refuses to turn down the tv, not turn on lights or anything. Furthermore, he changes 5-6 times a day, showers 3 times or more and leaves his crap everywhere. He kept me up till 12am every night and woke me up at 6am every morning which drove me into the ground as I am a very private person who needs sleep.

I was going 2-3 nights no sleep a week as I was so stressed out. It has now gotten to the point where I sleep in the lounge located on our floor. As I speak I am sitting on what is essentially my bed...It's two couches pushed together in a corner with a small table on the side. I sleep/spend 99% of my free time in the lounge Thankfully, I sleep more and I no longer have sound related issues. Since the lounge is on the "girls" side of the dorm, most of them are OK with it. I have not told anyone of my aspergers yet and they all think I am just weird.

The only problem I have in the lounge is people coming in at 2-3am and flicking on the overhead lights. Mostly, it is the "swimmers" on our floor as they have no respect for anyone else (ex- trashing bathroom, trashing the hallway, partying, blaring music). It gives me a blinding headache whenever someone comes in and flicks on the lights. This can happen 2-4 times a night and its worse if it is a swimmer as they usually open the blinds/blast music.

Overall, this semester has been a living hell for me. I told my parents that next year if I don't have a single room I am dropping out of college.


Sorry if long