Let my school mentor talk with my bullies or beat'em up?

Post Reply New Topic

It is really difficult when it's happening and you can't get away from it - and, trust me, any revenge-seeking behavior on your part will backfire.

Ideally, whoever is moderating the classroom shouldn't allow that kind of behavior - if the comments involve your race, you have even more justification to get the adult involved. I would do so quietly, via email or sometime when these kids aren't around - tell them just what you said here. I really, really think the situation you described needs adult intervention.

Beyond that - one possible way to handle a bully is to act as though the teasing is intended in a friendly way. You could act as though the comment was a compliment - "Thanks! My Mom said my dashing good looks are because I'm Turkish!" If the bullying turns to more obvious negatives e.g. "You smell" you could either give a casual non-response: "So?" or laugh at yourself a bit, "I know, I can barely stand being near myself!" and smile. The key is absolutely keeping your cool, though.

I know this isn't going to give you satisfaction, but it will take away the bully's ammunition, which is you getting aggravated.

This is so weird. I hate it when bullies don't act mean so I can't spew my anger towards them, but feel confused because I don't really trust them and just want to give short replies if they ask sincere questions.

This has been so throughout the 6 years of my school. A few months the biggest bully was nice to me as well, really weird. And then if something they don't like happens they act like complete douchebags again.

So.. this biggest bully which my mentor was supposed to talk to is still busy. This has been the 3rd time I informed school about this. I found some spicy material I can exploit against him.. first he is unable to use an atlas (you know, search names of geographic places which are on alphabetic order like a dictionary), second he is unable to make powerpoint presentations so he pays other people to do it for him.. but the 3rd and most shocking.. he was working together with someone for a research you need to successfully finish to do exams. he gave that other person a graphic calculator worth 120 euro to let her do all the work..

I'm sure if the school would be sure of this they'd either redo this year or kick him of school alltogether.

But how to make this hard. the atlas is first hand information. the powerpoint 2nd hand but the research he was bragging about it at the beginning of this year.

How can I best do this? Shall I first shout this at him when he is standing with his friends or shall I talk to the school (which doesn't take action quickly unless it is physical violence as seen)

Sorry, but all of those "comebacks" just sound painfully awkward, which the bullies will only exploit further. Not to mention, translating them back into the OP's native language may result in them being lost in translation.

John, the more you talk about this bully, the more I think you need to get an adult to intervene. He seems to have struggles of his own - and while it is not at all fair that he's taking them out on you, it makes the situation that much more difficult and complicated.

If you can't get your mentor to help, go to the school administration. Find the teacher from this classroom and ask for help.

The revenge tactics you are describing, no matter whether they are physical or emotional, are most likely to backfire, as the previous poster said. Get help.

I don't believe the school won't act on this. instead I will go 'American' and go to a lawyer to see what my possibilities are to sue him for emotional abuse, much as physiological abuse with permanent results (paralysis, brain damage).. The lil f****r has rich parents so they can get a good lawyer if needed..

Well, ignore them. They're not worth space in your brain. I know it's hard, but don't appear to be always tense or depressed, just appear light-hearted with a "f**k you" smirk on your face whenever they say anything mean (but check it in the mirror, people might laugh at it too). Then, just laugh along to whatever they say, tell your own comebacks (don't overthink them), and people will start to ask themselves "what am I doing"? and back off. Also, one thing I have learned is that whenever I say things awkward (and I do a lot), I laugh at myself. This makes it virtually impossible for them to laugh at you when you say something "wrong". Stick with some friends too, if you want to. Go to the bathroom before meltdowns, too. Really, making fun of the country your family's from's name is as low as low can be and is frankly laughable.

Teachers don't help, and beating them up will just get you suspended. I learned from experience that the "f**k you" look works every time. Like I said, don't give them a reaction or do anything they could use against you and pretty soon, you're not fun to pick on anymore; they would rather pick on someone who acts like a defenseless victim who they can think of as less than themselves than someone who makes them feel like they are the immature pricks they are.

Okay so these are basically blonde blue eyed kids and you are Turkish? Who is physically larger, you or them? How old are you?

I agree with the others that you should not physically harm the bullies. This will get you in trouble. In the old days it would end the bullying but these days it's not worth it. I also don't think you should "go American" and seek legal retribution. I think this will get you a negative reputation that you will never live down. Even in America when a kid does that it's a weak move.

I think you have two great pieces of ammunition here: 1) this social ammo you have against this kid that he's not doing so well in school. I would keep gathering information like that. 2) your face. It sounds like you might have a little bit of the autistic "blank face" which can be very intimidating to other people. I would use that to your advantage. They won't be able to guess your emotions. You might feel nervous or mad but they won't be able to tell.

I would memorize a few bad a** kinds of lines to rattle off in convenient situations but be quiet most of the time, utilizing your face. If you'll tell me whether you're bigger or smaller than they are, I can steer you toward some stances to make you seem more intimidating.

The kinds of lines that I would use would be cruel "your mama" lines, which will be more powerful the younger you are. If they are already making fun of you for being Turkish AND if they all look the same, I would incorporate racial one liners. Be careful not to say any of these in front of teachers.

You might want to memorize an alternate line along with the one liner so that if confronted by an authority, you can present the alternate, innocent line and insist that you said that one instead.

Example one liner: "Yo mama likes my pants." Example innocent line to claim that you had said instead "I said 'my mama bought my pants.'"

Sorry for the long post. I found your situation interesting.