Help! I'm being bullied at school!

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Agent-BlueMan, I am very sorry this happened to you. It was wrong and it was not your fault. It is assault. Do write it down, include as many details you can, including the date, time of day, what the kids were wearing, everything you can remember. Write it down and put it aside.

Determine if there is a faculty member at the school that you trust, one that you would feel comfortable talking to about this. It may be a guidance counselor, school psych, teacher, past teacher - someone you personally feel likes you and would try to help you.

If there is such a person, great. Talk to them as soon as possible and share with them a brief account of what happened and ask:

What is the school policy regarding assault on school grounds?
Can I report this incident anonymously?
How will the school insure that I can attend classes safely?
What is the role of the local police? Will the school contact them?
What are my rights as a student?

If you ask a school faculty member these questions, make sure you write down who you talked to, when you talked to them, where you talked to them, and how they answered your questions. Put this with your notes about the incident.

The school will be in very big legal trouble if they refuse to help you, doubly so if you are on an IEP/504 plan.

If you do have an IEP/504, and you participate in your team meetings, you have a RIGHT to ask for a team meeting to discuss how the school will deal with incidents like this and keep you safe. Seriously, this in the US Code. I am not making this up. If your parents are unaware of this, an advocate can help. Or Google "Wrightslaw" for more info.

If the first person you talk to at school or your parents laugh at you or diminish your concerns, FIND SOMEONE ELSE to help you. If the school will not listen, absolutely tell your parents your concerns. Then work with them to decide what to do next.

Advocate for yourself, be strong and know your rights. There are people who will help you, do not be afraid to find them.
FYI October is Bullying Awareness month. Google it and look for the website "pacer . org / bullying"

I hope this helps, I will be thinking of you.

OfficerMom

Picking your potential advocate.

And then slightly understating the case and then seeing if the teacher (or other advocate) has the energy and skills to come through for you.

And these two together might really be the percentage way to play the hand.

Beat the CRAP out of them. Punch them under the ear. That will KO them.

OMG what are you trying to do!?!?! Did you eve think that maybe because he is an aspie or something he will take you seriously?
Violence is not the answer, it will get you into more troublr then them because then they will most likely deny doing anything to you in the first place. Please dont listen to this person, that is the worst advice ever!

lift weights , learn boxing and fight back

Sitting there being someone else's punchbag is not the answer. Sometimes fighting back IS the only way. I'm not happy about this, but it's the truth.

No its not. You talk to the proffesionals and let them handle it! Its hard but you can walk away and go see someone about it. Whatever you do fighting back is the worst thing you can ever do, especialy violence!

Fighting back worked for me! Twice!

Talking to 'the professionals' is for cowards. Handle it on your own.

Do you seriously think that handling it on your own will get you far in life? What happens when your an adult and you react with violence, you will most likely get arrested and in some cases thrown in jail. Bullying doesnt just happen when your young from what ive heard it happens throughout your life. Im not a coward because i tell my teachers and mum if it happens, thats the right and smart thing to do. Like i said attacking back with physical violence will get you no where. It will make the situation worse. Maybe that worked for you but it wont for much longer. Seriously this person is asking for the right advice, looking out for him is tellling him things that should help and wont get him into trouble. Its them that need to get into trouble not him. If you learn as a kid to deal with it properly then you will save yourself in the future.

dont ever let anyone push you around. if you cant beat them with your smarts, then bloody their noses with your boots. as with any bully, soon as you stand up to them in any way... the cowards will run away and hide in fear. do NOT ever be affraid to fight back, even if you dont really win the fight.

the bully, nothing more then a coward putting on a mask to hide his insecurities... speaking of which, you could just find what he is embaressed about and work that angle alot...

From what ive seen that has never worked. If you hurt them back that will make you a bully too and you will get in trouble. You dont need to outsmart them you just go to the teachers or an adult so they get in trouble not you.

I'm doing just fine... As long as you don't do anything stupid you won't get caught. If the bullies can get away with it, so can I.

Like I said reacting with physical violence solved the problem. It didn't "get me nowhere". This person has already explained he doesn't want to fight them or anything like that. I'm just expressing my opinion. You're telling him lies. Violence CAN work. The end.

Telling your mom is cowardly. Going to the teachers is cowardly. Going to the police is cowardly. Seeking advice from these people is fine. It can lead to a positive outcome. It can also lead to a worse outcome. In some cases they are no help at all and all this does is make the bullies despise you even more. In some cases it does work, but everyone dislikes you for it anyway. This is especially so in schools, in my experience. Call it what you want, but it's still cowardly. Even if it helps.

Obviously don't attack someone in front of an authority figure and don't try to wound or injure them. In other words, don't be a moron.

Just complaining about it all your life is not the answer.

All of the above advice is right.

It's like poker. Sometimes an aggressive style wins. Sometimes a conversative style wins. Once we're talking about unpredictable human beings, and ourselves fully included, no one method always works.

Ideally, a person could take a medium step, observe feedback, and on the basis of that feedback, take another medium. But in a bullying situation, you don't always have that luxury.

That's skillful. For you are in fact engaging in low-key negotiation with the teacher.

This is similar to my method of "the pre-formal report."

And you want to trust your gut instincts (like in playing poker, trust and develop your gut, but it's not a hundred percent) regarding which teacher or principal or coach or parent or even an outside authority like a minister or scout master is likely to be helpful.

And if they come up with reasons why they can't be helpful, just graciously thank them and leave. Do not get into a debate.

And sometimes fighting is the way to handle it.

I like the idea of tight, defensive boxing to a draw, because you're not trying to embarrass or humiliate someone you're likely to see again, which is not a strategic move. In fact, I wish this whole thing was understood a lot more for international relations.

You want quick fast jabs and blows, keeping your balance. And quick fast blocks keeping your balance. A quick jab to the nose is a good feint or distraction. A short, hard upward blow to the rib cage is the money shot. That can sometimes knock out someone's wind, that is, incapacitate without really injuring. Again, keep your balance. Any one punch may or may not work.

Take a step back. Say, "it's over."

Now, winning a fight is heady stuff. Don't brag. And don't let someone else brag on your behalf. Maybe just say, "I'm sorry we ended up fighting." And leave it at that. Don't overexplain, which we aspies, or speaking for myself, which I am very likely to do.

It's amazing what you can learn from three private lessons and then practicing stuff on your own.

Note: Works against someone your own size. And one against one. And doesn't always work even then. An actual fist fight with fast blows, of course there's going to be a lot of luck. Again, prefer to walk away from a fight if you reasonable can. But sometimes a person cannot.

So, imagine meeting with a private instructor in your area two or three times a week for a couple of months. Yes, you can learn a lot. Please don't take a bunch of blows to the head during train, preserve brain health. Football helmets don't really protect, and presumably neither does boxing headgear. (I took some private lessons in Spring 2005, unfortunately hurt my hand and didn't go to a doctor and have it immobilized soon enough. I practiced on my whole in a gym with a boxing bag in 2008, and yes, I feel I have learnt a lot.)

Yes, a person can do marital arts, but I kind of recommend boxing, at least to start with. It's quicker to get up to the 'pretty good' or 'good enough' level.

Now, a little bit the attitude you might want to project pre-fight, like a James Coburn cowboy character, you want to go a few rounds, we can go a few rounds, no big deal.

Tight, defensive boxing to a draw. One week.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postx134616- ... 7e7d1b0d83

And the zen of it all, if one is prepared with even modest training, it is then less likely to happen.