Bullying

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If you can, sometimes the only way to fight back against bullies is physically. This can be almost impossible to muster emotionally. But if you are a girl for example, just poke someone in the eye. Bullies will think twice about bullying you then.

Don't get carried away with being brave and go on to bully other people. That is bad behaviour.

I was bullied at school. I used a strategy of empty threats, hiding in places where no-one went in old buildings & spending many lunch times alone. Try to avoid people if authority isn't helping you.

Authority can actually be detrimental if authority does not have your best interests in mind.

P.S: The rules of my high school were that you could not leave the school grounds, period, otherwise you were classed as a truant and would be punished with detention.

This seems like a reasonable rule, but on days that you are being mercilessly bullied everywhere you go - actually leaving the school grounds worked out better for me.

Be careful to avoid traffic & keep as close to the school as possible if you do leave the grounds, would be my advice, if you need to be in a place that isn't school, if experiencing Autistic meltdown.

I just found this thread. Good information here.
There is a good bullying thread in the 'social skills and making fiends' area as well.

Seriously, has there ever been anyone on the spectrum who *hasn't* been bullied?

You may have a good point there.

Easier said that done. Sometimes Aspies just aren't appealing to any group of people. I tried making friends with the other outcasts when I was in high school but even they were bitchy towards me and excluded me from their group. I once became so desperate for friends that I pushed myself too hard and made a stupid mistake of embarrassing myself by following a certain group of girls around in the hope that they'd let me into their circle. A long story short, I ended up being in trouble for this and being completely humiliated. But it was because I was desperate and probably gone insane from so much social exclusion I had suffered before.

Yep, I was totally alone. That's what the other girls wanted. To see me on my own. That made them happy. So I had to walk to and from school on my own every day, which attracted bullies of course. It seemed to be a taboo or something to be seen on your own.

What can one do when nobody wants to be friends with you? It's no good giving me advice now though because I'm 32 and long left school, but that doesn't mean my high school days don't come back to haunt me from time to time.

Joe90, sounds like you've had a very rough time indeed.
Sometimes I'm not sure there's any real way out with these issues.

The “way out” is to just believe the past is the past, and develop strategies that serve to protect you from being bullied in the future.

I had the same high school experience as Joe.

I was bullied more by teachers than actual children. My third grade teacher HATED the fact I was smarter than her in some areas that were special interest related and I was one of those kids who didn't care who you were, if you got a fact wrong, I would let you know. It was like I was suffocating if I didn't correct someone on a fact.

NOTHING was ever done about it either. If I had not been homeschooled in the 5th grade, I probably would have committed suicide by 7th. No one took me seriously and I was always told to "not take it personal". I had a few bullies push me head first onto the concrete and I've been getting migraines lately as an adult. I wonder if it's related. But I wasn't supposed to take it personal.

yeah i can relate to this, i got bullied by both teachers and students. the teachers looked down on me and picked on me. then i got physically bullied, socially bullied, and degraded for being 'weird' and 'quiet,' and i also just got used by peers i placed my trust in and got sexualized by some of the guys there. i don't know how i didn't realize i was being bullied, i guess i was just stupid, but i didn't actually realize that i was being bullied at the time. i understood that i was getting picked on, but i only realized that i was being bullied after i looked back at it and put the pieces together.

I have tried to cope with bullying for so many years and come up with no solution.

There's only one way to do it, friend, and it is to live on. Alright, you get bullied. So what? You've lived through all that. It ain't much. Focus on what you really like and where your talents shine. Try to ignore those who tease you and pity them,for only in this way can these people find fun.

Live on and survive and make it to college or university like I do. You'll find your freedom there.

It's probably true that everyone on the spectrum has been bullied in one way or another. Neurotypical people pick up on autism, and some people feel the need to pounce on that different person in the group for whatever reason.

My aspie husband is really good at saying incredibly cruel things to people that bother him. I believe he formed this skill fairly early in life. He is definitely not a physical fighter, either. I have seen him in physical emergencies. It doesn't ever seem to occur to him to hurt another person. You wouldn't think that to look at him. He looks quite tough.

But if you're not naturally quick with the cutting remarks, there's no harm in memorizing a few generic insults to whip out against a bully if needed. Other people will laugh, the bully will be made small, and you come out looking like a champ. No fists needed.

I think I have to chalk a lot of my bullying up to being on the spectrum, but that's not a legitimate excuse to me for that type of behavior. I think it should be taken more seriously.

Hey, yes I was bullied at school in HS and Jr high but not as severe as I have heard from other people.

1. In Jr high I would get taunted for liking "The Lion Lion." Most of the time they would say, "Simba's dead." I also had a few people attempt to use the school directory to call me. However, I never responded.

2. I was "Friends" with some peers in special education who formed a clique and I bullied by omission and implication because
A. One of them lied all the time about other people, including his girlfriend, who else was a part of the group
B. His girlfriend, who was a part of the group didn't like other girls talking to and associating with them and at the time, I had a crush on him.
C. They didn't like me because I was too outspoken and hyper

-Basically, they would say I was their friend but would leave me out of a lot of their things and then come forward and brag about what they did without me.

They also pulled some nasty tricks on me right before and during Jr Prom which left me devostated.

Reading some of these violent crimes in the news has me wondering if our bullies are more likely to be prone to violence as well. I think that is likely the case.

A lot of our bullies grew up well-adjusted and don't ever get involved with any illegal activities as adults.

That doesn't mean some of them didn't, but I'd look towards the bullies who were also outcasts more than the well-integrated ones.