Going to UNIVERSITY for the FIRST TIME and having AS

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Gremmie
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24 Mar 2009, 7:53 am

I'm at uni in the uk and yes you get a lot of people whose idea of fun is going out, getting wasted then waking everyone else up at 3am singing songs about kebabs. Luckily that isn't everyone. You also get the geeks, the metallers, the general freaky types and the really really nice but quiet people.
I'd suggest if you want to make friends and you don't easily find your type of people then join societies that you're interested in. Lots of places have societies for geekier things like sci-fi or anime or roleplaying or videogames or choirs or if you're religious then any religion based society will probably get you in touch quite quickly with people who like doing things beyond drinking.
Just keep going along and making an effort. If it's horrible one week and you feel completely out of place then keep trying at least for a bit. One of my favourite activities now I used to get home from wanting to cry for the first few times just because there were so many people and I couldn't cope, but now I know everyone and they're all really lovely. So yeh, good luck :)



rhubarbpluscustard
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04 Apr 2009, 12:23 pm

As I've said in another thread here, I was really worried about losing my friends from school when I went to uni, but I found it easier to keep in touch with them than I'd ever have thought.

About uni itself -- it'll begin with something called Freshers' Week, during which everyone gets drunk and makes friends. If that's not your idea of a good time, don't participate. Nobody'll really notice.

Yes there are a lot of people who like to go to pubs and clubs, but I wouldn't dismiss them entirely as a class. They can seem like idiots and some of them are but some of them turn out to be nice, tolerant people who don't mind your oddities. Once some people I knew were going to a pub and I went with them and simply didn't drink, and because I didn't make a big deal out of it neither did they. Approach people as individuals.



Estafwyn
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19 Apr 2009, 4:11 pm

I'm worried about making friends as I will definatelly not be going out getting drunk at every opportunity.
I convinced my best friend from college to go to the same uni as me but he seems to talk about going raving and drinking at Uni a bit too much for my liking so I am worried we will not be best friends for very long at Uni :(
Anyone going to the University of Brighton this September who wants to be my friend?



raisedbyignorance
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14 May 2009, 6:49 pm

I had a suprisingly different college beginning. I had just been recently diagnosed with AS in my final semester of high school when I had my mental breakdown. My parents were very concerned I would not survived so they were very insistent that I come home on the weekends. The move in was a nightmare however the rest of the week was quite enjoyable.

It seems as though regardless of whether you're an Aspie or an NT...if you're starting out in college and in dorms...everyone is starting out on the same foot...everyone is also going through the experience of being around unfamiliar faces. You'd be surprised at how many people on your floor will get together just to eat or to even go to parties. It was fun. In fact my parents brought me home on Friday afternoon my first week there and I demanded them to bring me back the next day. Freshman year in college is usually THE BEST year of college. I say, take advantage of the oppurtunity and dont feel shy or afraid about going to club meetings even if you are a stranger. All years after that year may indeed suck...but your freshman year experience will help you feel a little more comfortable and braver about those years ahead.



Greensmith
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20 May 2009, 6:38 pm

I attend an enormous university: it's sprawling, impersonal, and almost impossible to get to know your professors and other classmates. I can wander around the campus knowing I'm not going to run into anyone I know.
I love it.
University can be very accommodating to Aspies who don't mind isolation. And if you want to make friends, a lot of programs like engineering, maths and science have an enormous number of Aspies as both staff and students. I find it to be a really positive environment.



embernator
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26 May 2009, 5:49 pm

I was very scared to go away to university. It was a huge move, the university is three timezones away from where I grew up. I cried nearly every day for the first little while and called my parents every day. But now that I've gotten used to it, I love it. I'm taking engineering, so most of the people were oddballs in high school. I live in the dorms, but I never went to any of the parties. I'm a 'room hermit,' I just hang out in here all day when I'm not in class. I didn't really start finding friends until the second semester rolled around, but I wound up finding some great people who absolutely love me. I can't wait for the fall when I can see them all again.



eet2006
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28 May 2009, 2:05 am

Don't worry about it so much. Most, if not all, colleges have disabled student services. They have anything from classes to note takers to extended time on tests, and lots more. If you're living in the dorms, there's plenty of student activities, and there's usually a lot of clubs and sports on campus. If you want, you could just go to class, do your homework, and not really socialize--it's possible, I do it. A lot of colleges are places where everybody keeps to themselves until you reach out to them. Plus, there's usually a lot of freshman activities for everyone to get know each other and become familiar with the campus atmosphere. College isn't so bad, you'll probably flourish, just give it a chance!



embernator
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28 May 2009, 10:36 am

eet2006 makes a good point about the disability services. At my university they are very accomidating towards disabilities. I myself have a note taker and I write exams in a seperate room. When I got that, my math mark went from failing to a B+. My university also has free councilling serveces for students if they need them.

During frosh week here I didn't go to most of the activities, but when I did go it was always alcohal free and a pretty good time. For the most part everyone's been fairly respectful of everyone else without needing to be told anything. People jsut leave eachother alone unless they reach out for it.

I can't imagine that universities would be vary a whole lot.

University's been a really great experience for me and I'm glad I came. :)



Oggleleus
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29 May 2009, 3:30 pm

Don't feel that you have to find your life-long college friends on the first day or even the first semester.

The night before I started my first day of college my parents informed that they were getting a divorce. Could be worse.



infinitellipsis
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30 May 2009, 8:43 pm

i felt lonely when first attending school because i did not know a single person. first year , i moved into a resident hall filled with very social freshmen and felt isolated. Since then I live in a single in an apt. and looked into different groups/clubs. I found that a lot of people in the uni bubble are very open minded and accepting... you just have to keep an open mind yourself and look around for your niche. I have one more year to go and do not want to leave. I love being a part of this campus. Its my life now and ill be sad to say goodbye. it scary at first but think you'll be fine. :)