I just got a call from my son's special ed resource teacher
Katie_WPG
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Joined: 7 Sep 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 492
Location: Winnipeg, MB, Canada
While it is true that most Arts degrees aren't worth much, there are still other options for people who aren't good at math. Social work can get you somewhere, but it tends to be very competitive. Law school even more so. Being an language interpreter only works with certain languages in certain countries (and even then, they prefer native speakers).
But, there are trades that can be learned with minimal math skills. Community colleges can set you up with practical work as part of your diploma.
Eh. I had trouble with arithmetic when I was in school; I can do statistics and some 3D calculus pretty easily, though. I also have NVLD and I'm about to finish a master's degree in counseling & education.
Your son will be fine given that he has a parent who's willing to make sure he gets the services he needs and as long as he receives them.
My question is, does anybody have any advice on channeling frustration in a positive way? He also said my son sometimes uses one of those squeeze balls, but it can become a distraction. I really like this teacher and it's great because my son gets one on one help with him, but we are scared he may just give up and not want to try. He said he was just shutting down. Help!!
Does he actually ask for help or is throwing stuff and mouthing off his way of communicating?
kattoo, I'm Katie, I'm 17 with borderline NLD/Asperger's. I will say, when I was 12 (and I realize your son has a two year difference from then) I was very frustrated with math and science in 6th grade. It didn't help that at that point I wasn't diagnosed, and my math teachers in 6th and 7th grades were not exactly "up to NLD code." We NLDers do tend to be a little slower at learning math skills at the more advanced level. Up until very recently I had a very bad attitude about math. Then I met my Asperger's boyfriend September of last year, and I have a whole new outlook.
He is very smart and also understands my learning style quite well when it comes to math, having an AS disorder himself. I am now getting ready to take the GED, and just finshed the final section in the book, my worst subject- math. And guess what? I understood it WAY better than I did when I had first learned it. I only still don't understand like two sections out of somewhere around 14. My point? Hope is not lost.
In fact, something you may want to consider... I don't know if this is true for your son, you know him better than I do, but I know I have often been told by teachers and my family that I tend to do better with things that would be difficult for most "normal" people, and do worse with the things they would get straight off with one explanation. Also, explaining the theory behind the math also works. Once I see how something works, or how it applies itself in certain situations, it makes it a lot easier to do. Do you think your son would benefit from being given examples of when to use certain concepts? I know that is something that is hard for me as an NLDer, knowing when to apply knowledge that I already have.
I hope I helped... in some odd way. :]
Best of luck, kattoo. To the both of you! Just know that losers like Lonermutant don't account for those of us who just haven't been shown the right way to do math so it makes it "click" with our brains. ;] I'm sure your son will find his learning match, with support from a mother like you.
~Moomoo
I'm pretty sure that math is hard for everyone, in fact I think that the people who seem to have unnatural mathematical talent for the most part have just put that much more work into understanding it. The quality of the teaching makes a dramatic difference, the teacher may not be explaining things well. For me, oddly enough when I haven't understood a mathematical concept the problem was usually that the description or notation was too vague, not too complicated. It took me forever to get the concept that two negative numbers multiplied together gave a positive number, which just seemed impossible, until you realize that "negative" is a direction rather than a quantity. These concepts are not simple, and math textbooks are universally awful- anyways I'm now majoring in Engineering Physics and doing OK so don't give up hope.
Haha, art history is for future Starbucks employees, I'll give you that. A language degree is not necessary useless, though, if you go on to be a diplomat or translator or a tour guide or something.
I'm bad at math too. There have been times I wanted to throw the book and kick it around because it was so frustrating.
So I can understand why he feels that way. I think he just needs extra attention and have it broken down for him.
For me it took some teachers who realized the problem and worked close with me on it.
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I had the same kind of problem with maths. Funny thing is I have, unlike the typical aspie, a very balanced IQ which is also above average. No drops or leaps in my intelligence curve, I'm strong in all fields and both teachers and psychologists claim I have a good logical and mathematical ability. However, I always felt frustrated by maths in school and had problems understanding it the way it was taught.
The reason why I don't take part in society is more about the disgust I feel when trying to be like others. I'm too intelligent and aware of my own mental state to label myself "handicapped" and strive to be like most normal people. My psychological defence against this is instead extreme vanity and obsession with appearences. I'm really good looking and I spend lots of money on luxury clothes and even surgery, just to dehumanize myself and strengthen my already regal charisma. I always had very developed verbal skills as well as the ability to dominate a room, if I didn't nurture this talent I would no doubt hate myself and possibly commit suicide. I can never accept being a fat, ugly unemployed person so in order to survive mentally I uphold my self image and physical exterior as a laid back bourgeois pretty-boy.
It's not an ideal solution but it's better than turning into a pathetic desperado or commiting suicide. I tell myself that as long as I look great, eat healthy, work out and have the power to impress others just by my way of being and speaking, I can't be a total failure. I'm a complete poser of course since I never actively used any talent despite being naturally gifted in everything from music, dancing and languages to logical thinking and science.
I agree that poor math skills in itself isn't any reason to be an outsider in society. The real reason why some extremely high functioning aspies fall outside, or are turned into school killers, is a disharmony in the social interaction with others. A feeling of not being able to be who they are. Why would I bow my head to others and willingly become their slave by accepting their social codes? It would mean hating myself.
My doctor at the time, a leading AS expert, said when I was 15, that despite being at the very top of high functioning AS I would probably never be able to provide for myself with a normal job or get a normal education because of my inability to function with groups and obey social codes. She said it would be even harder for me to adapt since I was so high functioning and intelligent, and she was right.
By the way, according to statistics from the UK, 90% of adult aspies do not have a job and can't provide for themselves. I don't know who you are trying to fool with all this talk about success and losers. It's not a little minority of aspies who live outside of society but rather a huge majority. The ones with educations and jobs are in fact an extreme minority. The statistics in Sweden pretty much look the same as those from the UK. Around 90% stand outside of society. This forum is more like any self-righteous, neurotypical fascist gathering than a resource voicing the needs of aspies. There are too many self-diagnosed and non-aspies venting their clearly neurotypical viewpoints on life.
In school I got all the resources anyone could dream off, a special AS class with an unlimited budget. I still failed at school, despite being described by a former member of the Berlin symphony orchestra, a dance teacher, a language teacher and many others as "the most gifted student they ever had".
Some people are just not neurologically fit to handle society. In my case even my psychiatrist saw it when I was 15.
Obviously he's suffering from the same thing he's suggesting.
Sorry for the late reply (I had surgery), but I couldn't agree more!! Let me read the rest of the responses and see if I can answer them, too
Thanks for sharing..thank god to my pushiness, that his school his school has finally listened to me and he has been given a lot more one on one attention. the special ed teacher is a godsend and he has emailed me several times since this post, to share his concerns, praises, or just ask for my input! 4th grade is almost over..i can't believe it. This year has been the most successful.
Have you stopped to think that these kids might actually LIKE studying these subjects?? That maybe THEIR dream is to get a degree in something they can't get enough of, even though it may not lead to a job that pays much?
My NS friend got a degree in anthropology and did jacksh$t with it. She just wanted to learn more. But her AS father is a biologist working for NIH (National Institutes of Health)...
Don't generalize and spout your bitterness at people, because your own life turned out to be "meaningless."
But, there are trades that can be learned with minimal math skills. Community colleges can set you up with practical work as part of your diploma.
I have told me son he can be anything he wants. And when I said it, I meant it. Just look at Temple Grandin...He told me he wants to attend NYU and become a prosecuting attorney. But just last week, it was something else. The fact that he is interested enough to even WANT to go to college and pursue a career is a goal in itself. I'm very proud of him as you can tell
My question is, does anybody have any advice on channeling frustration in a positive way? He also said my son sometimes uses one of those squeeze balls, but it can become a distraction. I really like this teacher and it's great because my son gets one on one help with him, but we are scared he may just give up and not want to try. He said he was just shutting down. Help!!
Does he actually ask for help or is throwing stuff and mouthing off his way of communicating?
He does both. He used to never ask for help, but he has been improving with that. But sometimes if he is frustrated he will just mouth and/or hum..on rare occasions he throws things. I'd say mouthing is one of his more regular stims..even if he is not frustrated.
He is very smart and also understands my learning style quite well when it comes to math, having an AS disorder himself. I am now getting ready to take the GED, and just finshed the final section in the book, my worst subject- math. And guess what? I understood it WAY better than I did when I had first learned it. I only still don't understand like two sections out of somewhere around 14. My point? Hope is not lost.
In fact, something you may want to consider... I don't know if this is true for your son, you know him better than I do, but I know I have often been told by teachers and my family that I tend to do better with things that would be difficult for most "normal" people, and do worse with the things they would get straight off with one explanation. Also, explaining the theory behind the math also works. Once I see how something works, or how it applies itself in certain situations, it makes it a lot easier to do. Do you think your son would benefit from being given examples of when to use certain concepts? I know that is something that is hard for me as an NLDer, knowing when to apply knowledge that I already have.
I hope I helped... in some odd way. :]
Best of luck, kattoo. To the both of you! Just know that losers like Lonermutant don't account for those of us who just haven't been shown the right way to do math so it makes it "click" with our brains. ;] I'm sure your son will find his learning match, with support from a mother like you.
~Moomoo
Hi Moomoo,
Thank you so much for your reply. I appreciate your input. One great thin about my son, is he can excel in some aspects of math, but others just drive him crazy. For example, he came home a few weeks ago, so proud that he could do long division. He can also multiply numbers in his head pretty fast. He has difficulty with the more abstract word problems, fractions etc..
He has worked very hard this year and I am pleased with how far he has come so far. And don't worry...Lonermutant is a living example of how I DON'T want my son to be like when he grows up...lol I am fully aware of that.
LostInEmulation
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Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,047
Location: Ireland, dreaming of Germany
If your son doesn't understand concepts, he might have crappy teachers. There might be a way to teach him at home or pay for a tutor. Occasionally teachers and students just don't match.
Just my 2 Eurocents.
Edit: BTW: I also understood maths so much better when my mother or grandma taught me. Later in high school when it was above their skills, I paid for ... Nachhilfe... private remedial tutoring.
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