What is your social life in High school like?
I have no social life at school, but with a few exceptions. There was this one guy in my physics class who totally has aspergers. He reminds me of when I was younger, like when I was in the 3rd grade and completely unaware how different I was. This guy seriously thinks he is a computer. He always talks about stargate all the time even outsmarted the physics teacher. Towards the end of the semester he started building and programming robots and letting them run around the classroom. I ended up working with him, and it actually turned out well. As crazy as he is, I can understand him. But other than that, I really don't talk to anyone at school. Not that that's an entirely bad thing, after all it does give me a lot of time to do homework during lunch and stuff.
I want to be alone but it impossible for my situation, 'Group Work'. is coming everyday for high school. And the half of there are an acting work. While I've been calling the name, I have to has eye-contact and I hate it, if I didn't look at the person that called me, The who that should think I am proud of myself and I am being hate, I didn't want another to think like that.
Well, from K-3rd, i didnt talk to anyone in school, nor did I recognise it as a problem. I remember when my mom complained about me walking in circles, and so after that, I began walking in squares, and other shapes instead lol. My first connection with people was when pokemon was big, and I battled people in school.
Today in school its alright (11th grade), got a pretty decent amount of friends/aqquaintances, and heres my honest tip if you are not used to talking to strangers: video games.
Seriously, if you have xbox or ps3, just get online and play with people, and just talk to people. If not, you obviously got a computer, so play any online computer games. Then just try making small talk and comment when something happens like "dam he got me" or "got em". See if anyone starts small talk. See how far you can escalate a conversation. If you mess up, they will never see you in person
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The worst thing that can ever happen is to be told to shut up. Troll those people (piss them off, in this case just keep talking to them and pissing them off until they freak) It's the internet. They cant hurt you. Also, I think if you can learn to laugh at "SHUT THE F*CK UP", then an akward look or anything that you may fear when making contact with someone may be a bit lightened. Don't care what people think of you if their thoughts are negative.
Also, if your school has any clubs for special/disabled kids (my school has peer buddies. I don't know how widely located they are, but I'm sure your school may have something similar) that will allow you, then go for it. (Peer buddies is mostly for kids with more severe disabilities such as full autistic disorder. I'm only an aspie) Some people there will be very similar to you, and there nice there. You won't be singled out there, so make friends that are at or close to your social level. Even if there are people there who arent disabled, they'll be friendly to you.
This isn't too big, just something that took me forever to notice, I don't know if anyone does what I used to do. If your waiting to talk to someone about something simple (Asking a teacher a question,) but the teacher is currently engaged in someone, just glance up or away from them. It looks less akward then just standing there staring right at them.
I don't know if I'm helping anybody really, but it's just some things I learned that helped me.
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Tufted Titmouse
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Infoseeker
Deinonychus
Joined: 6 Mar 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 359
Location: Metro Detroit area, MI, US
My middle-school anger management caught up to me in high-school. The stigma wasn't there for my freshman year, but when I was a sophomore on, all the younger students heard about it and were scared of me. Even though I've been safe through the whole of high-school; being acquaintances with everyone in my year.
By the way, my middle-school violence was in self-defense. I had the kind of bullies who 'won' even if I beat them up. Well more like I beat up two or three of them before the rest of their group got me. I lot of them calmed down in high-school though, maybe because I was in good terms with most of the girls in my school; my asperger quirkiness was seen as metro-sexual (not to a degree of flamboyancy; simply my matter-of-fact thinking) and cute. You know how you can get in good terms with parents through a connection with their children? I got through with high-school boys through being in good terms with the girls they respected. Even though I didn't try. o.O;;
So if a lot of the girls and guys hung-out somewhere, I would end up getting invited by one of the girls. The guys eventually built a bond of loyalty to me.
No I'm not a pimp!
Last edited by Infoseeker on 25 Mar 2011, 1:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
My high school life was significantly better than in 8th grade. I was teased alot in middle school because in addition to having AS, I had come out of homeschooling (through 7th grade), so my social intelligence was even lower than it should have been, due to lack of experience. Then again, maybe the homeschooling saved me from alot of trauma during the elementary years.
The high school I went to was in a different district, with nicer kids. I basically found out how to work the system. I can play piano well, because I have been playing for most of my life. I was also the first chair violin, so I had to know the music for school shows. Many of the popular kids wanted to audition for parts in the school shows, but they didn't know alot about reading music, so they would come to me if they needed help with their parts. I never actually asked for anything in exchange, but they didn't tease me and occasionally I would get a free sandwich out of the deal. I wasn't exactly close to anyone of them and I still was really lonely, but everyone treated me with respect now that I had some social leverage. On top of that, I started getting into endurance sports (they require only remedial coordination), so I had minimal social interaction from the swim team and I managed to get my name on the top-ten list for mile times. Again, the sports still didn't bring me many friends, but I did get respect and acquaintances.
I know I'm luckier than most when it comes to my high school life, so I guess the best advice I can give is to find a club or a sport that you excel at, and use your interest as a medium for social interaction. You might not get any close friends, but at least you'll get a feeling of camaraderie and belonging. I'm in college now, and I still struggle with finding friends. However, I am able to cope because my school's cycling team gives me social opportunities. I am on friendly terms with my teammates, but I can't socialize with them outside of racing because it usually involves going to some party and/or intoxication. I am terrible at both these things, and my teammates know not to invite me.
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Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.
lotuspuppy
Veteran
Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 995
Location: On a journey to the center of the mind
My high school social life sucked. I had a good friend from middle school who likely had AS. His special interest was theoretical mathematics, and he became so absorbed into it that he shut out most friends. That, and my high school was gigantic. I made some very good friends senior year, one of whom I talk to regularly.
I went to 3 high schools and one separate all boys high school for first trombone in their jazz ensembles (I am a girl).
I had no friends in high school. I did get lots of male attention (I was over 6foot and a BMI of 16) i looked like a model. I was also the youngest in my year (graduating at 16). I was captain of the chess club from years 10-12, music captain years 10-12, sci-fi club captain years 11-12, first chair trombone at each high school i went to from years 8-12. I even taught 6 instruments for cash in hand.
When i graduated, everyone only put movie quotes on my shirt no good lucks ect. Then a few years later when facebook came out and i had a profile put up, hundreds of people who knew me from high school added me. I asked each one why... They said because i was cool ect.
So to sum up, in high school i had no friends and would sit in the music room reading and composing.
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I love diggin' in the dirt
With just a pick and brush
Finding fossils is my aim
So I'm never in a rush
Although I was never really bullied, I still never liked school, especially high school. I hated being on my own, so I tried to stick with the other girls who hung about together, but I could tell they didn't want me with them. I used to say something and nobody would hear me, and I just felt like I was on the outside of the crowd, even though I tried my best to join in - I never alienated myself from anyone. People just told me ''you must give your best friend some space'' - even though it seemed OK for others to live in eachother's pockets. It was so horrible for me, because every other girl I knew were like role models to me, and so I tried learning their social interactions and often acted just like them - but it still wasn't right. What ever normal thing I done (what was normal to them) still wasn't right when it came from me, even though it was normal. Once a girl showed me her new bracelet, and I said, ''that's nice - where did you get it from?'' (which is a normal, appropriate thing to ask when somebody shows you something of theirs), and she said, ''none of your business!'' And I was like, ''where did I just go wrong? If somebody else had asked that, she would have told them!''
Also, school is horrible when you've got no descent friends. I know all teenage girls do fall out and b***h at eachother, but they always seem to have other friends to run to. If a child is NT, whether he/she is shy, insecure, poor, rich, fat, ugly, a bully, or anything else - they will always have some friends - even one or two friends, or even friends on the opposite sex - they will always be able to have somebody to hang out with, and that's what makes life at school so much easier - having someone to hold on to, to share problems and emotions with, and to help eachother get through school work, ect. Not for me - I never had this. I had to figure out what to do all on my own, and it's so miserable being on your own at school (unless you don't mind). I'm so glad I've left school now and now mixing with NTs who have a better understanding of diversities in other people.
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Female
I am actually In the exact same boat you are. I too am a 17 year old Junior and Have Social issues. Basically All i do is sit at home and play PC games Mainly Counter strike etc. In high school I have a very Limited circle that i am more acquaintances with. Throughout my school years going back as early as 5th grade I have experienced Bullying and social shun-ment. In 9th grade i was considering suicide until a worried classmate talked me out of it. I sought counseling but it ddint help me. At the time I had No idea i had aperger's syndrome. I always felt there was something wrong and was frustrated that i couldn't seem to figure myself or society out. 10th grade I was very dysfunctional and My GPA dropped to a 2.1 Due to attendance. I would often skip school just to be home so i could be a happier me. In the summer between then and now I had discovered i had asperger's but have had little success's at changing it. Life seems frustrating and hard on me. In my boredom i took up a few bad habits that i have since quit. I would use marijuana and alcohol to control the social pains But all it ddi was cause excessive issues and drama so i decided that is NOT a route i wish to take on my life. Currently im still trying to get by each day.
Hope things work out for you
im in special education and surounded by emotional unstable and just generally f****d up people so i try not to interact with them as much as possible (also there kinda dumbasses that that dosen't help with that either) out of fear for my own well being and not wanting them to get me in trouble or prevent me from going back to normal school. i generally feel completly discoected to those kids and feel disturbed and angered by them most of the time. im very excited that im going to be returning to regular school soon.
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