Those in college -- did socializing get any easier?

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For most of my life I've only had two friends, and I mean real friends. The kind that stick by you and actually were willing to come over for slumber parties and want to know whats up in your life.
Over the years I've gotten better, I mostly have guy friends than I do that are women.

Any school friends or church friends never stuck by me, and if I tagged along with these kids it didn't last long.

I'm in my second try at college now, and I do have a few friends.
Granted, these are the reasons why were a close knit group of people, we all are a little awkward, a little odd, we like to watch cartoons and make movies and we don't throw wild and crazy parties and were not...well to put it bluntly "ghetto". I go to a college in a urban environment, we do white people things I guess, not saying it to sound racist or anything but even my black friends admit that hey, were different from others and we stay true to ourselves and that's what makes us great to talk to.

But I wouldn't have made these friends if I hadn't just sucked it up and went over to a table filled with people and just asked if I could sit with them and complemented on this girl's Adventure Time fan art and she in turn complemented me on my Alice in Wonderland shirt. Sometimes my fears get the better of me, but I still try.

My best method for making friends was sticking to a routine. I made sure to sit down in the area where people of the same interests were (the basement of the student center had many gamers). I made sure to listen much and smile. I often got rare-enough times to interact, and started gaining many acquaintances. They mostly know my name (though I am really bad 5 years later with their names :/).

I've managed to make two friends among them, that I sometimes hang out on Sundays and go for lunch with. The more I hang out with them, the more I am convinced these two are even more socially awkward than me; because I have improved with my mimicry, and it seems they acted the same since I first met them.

I would suggest, that you never get romantically involved with your acquaintance circle at college. Oh my god, you can't believe all the drama I hear between these gamers the more I listen in. I feel like a doctor that can trace the illicit interactions among the village couples by simply making a census of all his data. Thank god I have been to awkward to venture that route....and met someone outside of that circle. Great people if you put their drama aside.

In my experience, I was fortunate enough to literally stumble upon two other guys playing the Yugioh trading card game. long story short, I am now the head of the unofficial Yugioh club at my college, and have a large (for me, at least) group of friends and acquaintances. There are also MANY other groups of people with similar 'nerdy' hobbies that draw them together.

My college is a large one, (~15000 students, according to its website) however.

I would recommend trying to find out if and where such groups exist that share the relevant interests, as they supply essentially pre-packaged opportunities for social interaction.

Short answer: For me, it did get easier, but now I'm responsible myself for my social life and I have to learn from my own mistakes – which is not a bad thing.
If you try to protect him from the world, he cannot learn about social skills on his own.

Choice of college: I think people at a more liberal college are more likely to accept someone who is a bit "strange".

To consider:
I have never (nor do I currently) lived in a dorm.
I have always commuted to campus, so really, the main reason I am ever on campus is for a class. (Not for lunch, rarely for clubs, and sometimes to do homework alone).
I have been working my whole way through college, including weeknights and all-day weekends.

( ^ Those may be restrictions.)

Nooo, socializing did NOT get any easier for me in college!

I think a lot of people make friends more easily when living on campus because that's where they'll be all the time. I also think a lot of people make/keep friends easily when they don't have a job (booooo, loans!! !) because it means free time after class to hang out.

It's about on par with how it was in high school so far. Some people aren't as judgmental, which is good. I'm hoping it gets easier as I move deeper into my major courses.

it depends on what you mean by "easier socializing". I study in a different city from my own, but I live with my sister and I commute to college (there's no such thing as dorms in Colombia), so I'm not forced into, a, well, forced socializing environment. I could say I have a couple of people who are between acquaintances and friends, but mostly I spend my tiem alone. The good thing is that I'm not as exposed to stress, but the academic part may require socialization, which isn't easy at all.

If he's not involved in any clubs/activities and doesn't meet anyone with similar interests, then socializing will get harder. But, I think that would be highly unlikely, as my experience has proved the opposite. Sure, there have been awkward moments in college, but I have for the most part met people that are a lot like me (and have cultivated great friendships). This did take a little time. It didn't happen on the first day, but it wasn't a matter of months either. I also met people from my classes, either that got along well or studied the same thing.

I think the overall socialization also depends on what kind of school he goes to (i.e. it will be different at a huge public university than at a small liberal arts collge). That's why I think visiting and really getting a feel for the school is important.

As for the sex and drugs: well, college kids are college kids. There will be some who participate and some who don't. It will happen no matter where he goes. I think that just being an Aspie would prevent him from really doing anything stupid and wanting to follow the crowd. A good group of friends would help too, but it's not imperative. He'll be on his own, so he will have to make choices about how he wants to behave. If I were you, though, I wouldn't be worried about those things - your son sounds like he will be fine.

The first day of discussion sections are usually with new people and people in calsses can change a lot of different people so more difficult introductions. Also international studnets speaking in foriegn langauges can be hard to talk to for me at least.

Will your son have the option of commuting to college instwead of being in dorms? Because that could make his college life easier.

I'm pretty misanthropic but I valued my dorm living situation in college. I never really became close with my roommates, but just being in the dorm environment exposed me to a lot of people I did form long friendships with.

I think that would be a good experience for any young man.

As to what school to go to, I don't know whytf a parent would pressure their son or daughter into attending a college they don't want to attend. Finances are certainly a factor, but if it's even a close question, skip the rah rah BS and help the kid find their own path.

Hello.
Im fairly new here and will
For my socializing at first was tricky within the like few couple of weeks but after that I found that socializing got easier. Despite the fact that I'm an Aspie and Female. Socializing for my growing up was not always easy (Beatin down the social gender stereotype here).

As of now I will be graduating with One Degree with two Minors in May and heading out to the real world.

Most colleges have a Foreign Lanugauge Club on campus and such all you have to really do is ask. If that's something your son has interest in.
My parents were worried I would just stay in my room and such but I got use to dorm living ( mind you I have lived in a Single for the last three years)

Currently Im a part of the Women's group, and LGTBQA group as an Ally (As I have quite a few friends who identify as not straight and one who has Asperger's and identifies as such, so yeah.)

Yes if you want your child you should take into considerations they type of college it is and what not. I go to a State University and while I do like it a few times I have encountered intoxicated students however I have more or less learned to stay where I am for as long as I need to be at night when I'm alone working in my art studio. Otherwise I work on my homework and Art projects in my dorm.

But had I not experienced these situations I don't think I'd know how to handle them (as unfortunate as they are) now.

If anything you're better off giving your kid the sex talk now than to leave them clueless in college, sex happens no matter what really. Abstinence just makes more it shameful and very damaging on both parties and more risky to both college grades and such as it can contribute to unsafe sex myths around condom, the pill, and other contraceptive use that cause people to not be safe and end up with STI's and STD's when they don't know the REAL
FACTS.

I personally learned about sex and such back in middle school through the school system and what not and it was pretty through about showing us our options as well as consequences.
As a Minority and Aspie female student that makes it equally more important

If anything NO MEANS NO. There is not buts, and there are no if's. That's one of the things you should maybe discuss with your son no matter where he goes to college when it comes to sex. It can be very confusing trying to figure out those things regardless of gender especially with the added layer of Asperger's.

I personally have not gone through an episode of such things thankfully but I have had friends of both genders go through it (SADLY) .

I have less of a social life at University (i.e none), so there isn't much to say about that.
As for the OP, your son is going to get wicked drunk, smoke weed, and have sex... stop deluding yourself.

I haven't done any of those things they may not it depends on the person.

Especially if they were raised in a Utah Mormon culture too

Again, thanks everybody for your posts. I think I have a better idea of what chance my son has for making friends in college, according to your experiences.

First of all, to respond to the latest posts ... My son was NOT raised in Utah culture, he was raised in the East, and as a family we HATE the Utah culture that we've experienced, so whatever bit of Utah culture he gets at church, we tend to discourage. He's been raised in a liberal environment at home, so he's already very different from his Mormon peers. Mormons are nice people, for the most part, but highly conservative, and we've never agreed with that aspect of Mormonism. So no matter what college my son attends, it probably is going to be more liberal than what he experiences at church (and definitely more liberal than what he might experience at BYU).

Also, if you read my OP, we aren't trying to do anything to control his college experience. He has been raised in a controlled environment - i.e. no sex, no drugs, no smoking, and no alcohol. That's merely what he's "used" to. As I said already, when he goes off to college, he will no longer be in a controlled environment, and we are ok with that. It's going to be his choice -- it's ALL going to be his choice, what school he wants to attend (thus, no BYU) and what activities he wants to try. I have a feeling that he's going to enter this different world in a much slower way than most college students, just because of his upbringing. Having said that, I don't think he's going to be comfortable going to a PARTY school, because he's not a party kind of guy. But I could totally see him at a small, unconventional liberal institution. He most likely will try some things that don't fit in with how he was raised -- I just don't want him to be forced into doing anything he's not comfortable doing.