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Wasted my college social life and 25, depressed

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Rocket123
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11 May 2014, 10:15 pm

Rodney00 wrote:
bleh, the way I talk in here is NOT the way I talk in public, by any means. Thats why I go here, my personality in public is all learned and an act.


Fascinating. Maybe it's an age thing (I am 51 now), but the language I use here is the exact same language I aspire to use everywhere. I use the term aspire, because on WP I have the time to really think about what I want to communicate out. So, I can edit it and re-edit, until perfect.

Rodney00 wrote:
But I cannot help but be furious and angry that I tried my ass off to be friendly and social to all, and while yea I was rather awkward, there was no reason for people to essentially spit in my face.


Yes. This sucks. And, it hurts deeply. Though, I do give you credit for trying.

Rodney00 wrote:
Or could it have also been naked racism: I'm a certain ethnicity/religion (a group often considered "ethnoreligious), tho with white skin, and most there were Irish/Italian and a very VERY large percent went to parochial schools.


Did you attempt to befriend others from your same ethnoreligious group? If not, that might be a reasonable route to pursue going forward (as you minimally have some shared experiences).



Rodney00
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12 May 2014, 9:11 am

Rocket123 wrote:

Did you attempt to befriend others from your same ethnoreligious group? If not, that might be a reasonable route to pursue going forward (as you minimally have some shared experiences).


I tried with everyone, no matter what their ethnicity was. At my school, many of the people of the ethnic group would lie about it or try to hide it too, no matter how obvious it was. It could have also hurt me that some of the stereotypes, such as my height (my ethnic group's males are often much shorter than Italian/Irish), not being a big sports guy (I came to school super fat, tho I lost the weight in a short period for my second year, junior year and I played varsity sports in HS), thinking I was smart (in some of my classes I wanted to show people how smart I was so I'd always be the guy who answered), and seeming to care a lot about money/status, could have made me into the stereotype.



Moostar
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13 May 2014, 4:06 am

Rodney00 wrote:
I can't stop living in the past. I keep reliving this part of my life everyday, and I'm old now. Maybe life isn't worth it if no one is ever gonna be attracted to me. But then again, I have learned a lotta social lessons from college, just too late.



I think you're being too hard on yourself. I have that same thought as well when it comes to wanting to hang around others. Life just sucks. but you got to be patent, and just keep on trying. Not everyone isn't going to be your friend, and your not going to be friends with everyone you see. The only thing you can do is just keep on educating yourself upon how to communicate better. Life moves pretty damn quick, and at times, I wish that I could of done more things in high school. I wished I would of interacted more with the other kids. Sometimes I wish I would been smarter about the choices I've made over the dumb ones. Its OK to reflect on the past. Just as long as you don't make those mistakes get to you in such a negative manor. Just keep on trying, Wrong planeters, and I are giving you the best of luck. :)



bleh12345
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01 Jun 2014, 6:18 am

It's been a few weeks since someone has commented. Are you doing better, OP? Have you considered that in college people were more judgmental? I haven't been to college yet, but I hear certain types of people can be VERY mean. It's kind of like a more complex high school. I've heard of a good tip recently: Go to a coffee shop. Apparently, if you go there a lot, and do it very often, a lot of friendships can be made.

You know, I've also learned something else over time: People often fake being better than they are. By this I mean that all of those hot shot guys in college could have been faking part of their life. It's kind of like Facebook. Everyone seems so cool like they are a celebrity. However, a lot of people lead fairly boring lives. Life is not the movies where it's exciting 24/7. The people who seem to always be this way are often lying or faking it. So, I hope this helps.



cubedemon6073
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01 Jun 2014, 10:28 am

bleh12345 wrote:
It's been a few weeks since someone has commented. Are you doing better, OP? Have you considered that in college people were more judgmental? I haven't been to college yet, but I hear certain types of people can be VERY mean. It's kind of like a more complex high school. I've heard of a good tip recently: Go to a coffee shop. Apparently, if you go there a lot, and do it very often, a lot of friendships can be made.

You know, I've also learned something else over time: People often fake being better than they are. By this I mean that all of those hot shot guys in college could have been faking part of their life. It's kind of like Facebook. Everyone seems so cool like they are a celebrity. However, a lot of people lead fairly boring lives. Life is not the movies where it's exciting 24/7. The people who seem to always be this way are often lying or faking it. So, I hope this helps.


You are so right. People in America and other places puff themselves up and make themselves seem more than they really.



bleh12345
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01 Jun 2014, 11:23 am

cubedemon6073 wrote:
bleh12345 wrote:
It's been a few weeks since someone has commented. Are you doing better, OP? Have you considered that in college people were more judgmental? I haven't been to college yet, but I hear certain types of people can be VERY mean. It's kind of like a more complex high school. I've heard of a good tip recently: Go to a coffee shop. Apparently, if you go there a lot, and do it very often, a lot of friendships can be made.

You know, I've also learned something else over time: People often fake being better than they are. By this I mean that all of those hot shot guys in college could have been faking part of their life. It's kind of like Facebook. Everyone seems so cool like they are a celebrity. However, a lot of people lead fairly boring lives. Life is not the movies where it's exciting 24/7. The people who seem to always be this way are often lying or faking it. So, I hope this helps.


You are so right. People in America and other places puff themselves up and make themselves seem more than they really.


The funny part is we pretty much all know we all lead fairly boring lives, yet a lot of humans still try to attain this status. They still want to be perceived in this way even though we are ALL lying about it and we all know that.



WantToHaveALife
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10 Nov 2014, 2:39 pm

heck, i'm almost 27 and am nowhere near close to having a college degree, was unmotivated to get one for a while and still kinda am



Pwnialstrasz2
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05 Aug 2015, 7:49 pm

Dear Friend,

You are not alone OP. Your life is not over and even though we don't know what it brings, I am certain the future will not be all boring, as you say.
It seems like you cannot stop worrying about every aspect of yourself you see as imperfect: your stature, your education, your success with girls. STOP WORRYING AND DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE
I too am short, unremarkable, and feel an utter regret at having wasted my science education when it was so close to completion (I didn't perform enough results in research and now, my reference letters are poor).
The first thing to know is that rejection is a reality for everyone, not just you and we face it every day. That's no reason to give up on your search though, whether it be to find more girls (which I really hope you think of as more than just notches), to find mastery in your career or to find meaning. 99% of jobs, girls and all the other stuff will reject you, well f**k them, they obviously cannot see your potential epicness, or other random factors that were out of your control happened to conspire.
Maybe one of the reasons you feel that the world is against you is because you too are holding out against them, against every one of them, in some form of rebellion.-- well, it's not attractive.! I believe (and you may or may not) that a much more important factor than your height, AS, virginity status, or social coolness is how friendly you are, but no no, more than friendly, how much you love life, how much you affirm life, and when people see that you are doing something seriously that you enjoy, they will open up to you, and yes, get turned on.
Girls don't dig being objectified or looked on with suspicion, neither do your friends, neither do your employers enjoy to see you sullen and angry.
Like the Doors says, "People are strange, when you're a stranger. Faces look ugly, when you're alone. Women seem wicked, when you're unwanted, dadadada..... When you're straaaaange FACES COME OUT OF THE RAIN"


And no, sometimes you just don't gotta live in the past. Who says that? The future is much more exciting :skull: