What is it with the eye contact thing?

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I don't know where I stand with eye contact.

I do seem to have trouble holding eye contact with those not very close or in my immediate family.

I don't feel that I have trouble interpreting eye contact though - but then I realized I don't use it that often. Not sure if my lack of ability is innate or just due to the fact that I'm out of practice.

I don't give out signals using my eyes at least, anymore than I do with other forms of body language.

OTOH I've never been forced to make eye contact with anyone. I would not enjoy an attempt to do so. That would be cruel IMHO.

i think not all of the three were Asperger's people. i think one of the three was and
i don't mean Jeffeson, even though there is a current book out that has an
author who does does think this is true. i can see how the book was written.

with my psychiartist, recently...i opinioned that john nash's behavior seemed
to be that of an aspie, even though i would not make a statement like that about
alan turing, an equally gifted mathematician. i'm going down the wire with the
idea that sir isaac newton is more likely an aspie if one compares jefferson's
and newton's known portraiture in addition to the contemporary sources
concerning their clear and observatble eccentyricities and irritiabilities.


yes, jefferson hummed, and yes...newton had to lecture to empty rooms.
neither for instance by its self is a clear behavior pattern determinant
of aspergers.

newton and einstein both went prematurely gray, and then white haired
...however if i think of poor jerry garcia + stress, i cannot assume
he's an aspie just because two physicists seperated by time went prematurely
gray or whitre haired. alan turing may have been gay. newton took religious
orders at trinity to be a FELLOW. lack of female companionship at the height
of england's Restoration era...simply implies newton, were he born 300 years
earlier, he'd have kept his monkish vows for the most part, were he
to be equally learned. i'm again running into the way people read into things.


admittedly when i was in grade school i was notorious for daydreaming
off...in total boredom. my diagnosis slightly more than a year ago by a
reputable hospital in the boston area now has me thinking the number
of times i'd vacantly stare off into space in the school lunch area for
more than 15 or 20 minutes might be indicative of perhaps
my yet to be diagnosed Asperger's that REALLY wigged people out
...now has me thinking this small detail
perhaps is why SIR ISAAC is more likely
an aspie than Thomas Jefferson
is...

Jefferson had a magnificent profile...the new
five cent piece glorifies on this. NEWTON had an magnificent
hawklike profile and this VERY PRONOUNCED habit of staring
off into space that could get people extremely uncomfortable.
Jefferson's gaze tended to be more soft and dreamy. less harsh.
if i go by the biographices and try to read into old accounts...

all of this seems like esoteric trivia when we get to Einstein and understand
that although we have more information at our fingertips about the great man,
we actually know less about the workings of his inner mind. Newton's inner mind
needs Da Vinci, Kepler and Gallileo to draw it out. Jefferson is almost a reader's
digest version of brilliant syncronicity and simplicity by comparison to Da Vinci,
Newton and Einstein.

Benjamin Franklin's Id seems to be the link that ties in JEFFERSON's ideas
to NEWTON's mind*realm. Asperger's may have three or four of these great minds
as part of an organic community. Its the uniqueness of Newton's cognitive
processes that made his fame possible. its the adriotness of his ability to peg
the humours of each succeding mornarch that kept his prematurely
graying head on his sholders until his inability to pass stones finished him off
in auld age...

NEWTON may be an Aspie just as Jefferson was quite a dreamer.
[i'd normally have included the pragmatic Franklin in this save for his adroit
diplomacy with the French...]


anyway...


NEWTON...
its the almost icy, hawklike stare that MIGHT have
been at the source of many scholarly faux pas that
i think set the stage for his great feuds...his intense
rivalry and ambivilencies with people like Robert Hooke etc...
i agree he was known for his pedantic feuds.

!

...its been a few months, and i'm back posting again,
still certain, still focused. yet having lived thru reality*planes
again...still certain. i'm having an urge to travel, now.
the conceptualizations that led into modern physics
seem 'right-brain" yet not out of reach if one enquires...well.

So yeah, when Im walking around campus I often look at people to see if I know them... but when they catch me looking at them I immediatly look away. Unless they are a cute girl. Then I look away, and look back a couple of seconds later... but then they are looking away.

At work, (starbucks), I have begun to notice that when I dont make eye contact with customers they are really thrown off by it. But if I manage to get into a good groove with getting eye contact and maintaining it then they seem much more at ease with me and happier when they leave. Its good practice, it really lets me see the importance of making an effort to overcome that fear.

I sincerely believe in neuroplasticity when it comes to any brain, even AS brains. If we work at it, and dont give up then with time I think eye contact will become as natural to us as it is to NT's. The trick is to realize what you are doing, and start to look for rules that may govern eye contact. And when you get that rising feeling in your chest because of the eye contact just start telling yourself that they are just wondering if you are listening.

AS people tend to have very few interests, but are extremely profficient in things that occupy them. I say we use this fact to improve ourselves socially. It will be difficult because social stuff doesnt come easily, but with discipline and time I sincerely believe we can overcome any obstacle that social interaction brings to us.

Dont give up hope guys!

One instance in which I have a huge difficulty in establishing and maintaining eye contact is when I'm pissed at someone. It's kinda silly in a way given that my lack of eye contact usually clues them in that Something's Up.
Most of the rest of the time, it's either no/fleeting eye contact or I wind up boring holes in them with my stare. Found that it makes quite a few people extremely uncomfortable, especially given that most people seem to interpret my 'neutral' expression as 'I'm this far from flying into a homicidal rage and getting medieval on ya'.

When I was a bit younger, I would look at people's noses. This was when I was really small for my age and I would hate having to stare up so much. But in the last couple of years or so, I've basically trained myself to look people in the eyes. Now I just do it automatically!

I have a huge problem with eye contact. I find it hard to look at anyone even those who I have known for a while, it doesn't make me feel as uncomfortable with members of my family but I still avoid it.

With people that I dont know, or teachers for some reason, I dont look in their eyes at all, it makes me feel so uncomfortable so much so that even looking at their face is difficult as I can still see their eyes. If I'm talking to a teacher I usually end up looking at something in the room or down at the table, I'm sure they think I'm rude or not listening.

I still have eye contact problems, with alot of people.

I've invested heavily in sunglasses.
Not only do they help with my light sensitivity, they help with the eye-contact thing.

Its the gateway to their universe

I cannot help myself, but I simply cannot speak looking to someone eyes. Well, I can survive it just listening to the other person, but I have to continuously remind myself that I have to keep the eye contact. In fact, I cannot follow the conversation at all. Normally, that's not so bad. Most of my colleges in my field don't care about eye contact. The problem really is that I enjoy doing talks to auditorium, but I cannot look at the people's eyes. That's bothering me all the time.

My ex-girlfriend tried to teach me keeping the eye contact (and I can confirm she was really patient). At the beginning I told her that it's just a temporary result of 5 years of intensive study of physics. Of course, it was a tactical move. She was a freshman undergrad in physics at the time and maybe I scared her a little bit. Don't worry, she is still excellent undergrad student and she doesn't look geeky at all. I've never told her the truth. In fact, I didn't know it myself at the time.

I met a girl year ago, which was the only person in my life I was able to talk with keeping the eye contact. And it wasn't just an eye contact. I was really looking into her eyes. I swear, I had never met her before. Not physically. I saw her in my dream... I know it's weird. I'm a scientist and I'm supposed to don't believe in such paranormal things. But I tell you, it was really magical feeling. I was excited and scared at the same time. People told me that they had never seen such look in somebody eyes, as I had at the moment... I've never met her afterwards.