80% of aspies fail out/unemployed after 4+years of college

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Probably

That would greatly depend upon what areas that the PhDs are in and why they do what they do.

I have a chemistry PhD and do not hate my nephew who decided to become a plumber. We all have choices in life to make on our strengths (and also our weaknesses). He chose that career route because he had a hard time in school with his learning difficulties and because he always had a mechanical skill with putting things together. It is something that he enjoys doing, much like I enjoy teaching others advanced chemistry topics. I did not get into higher education to make big $$$ paychecks (if I wanted that I would be in administration), but with the goal to make a difference in others lives via what they learn from my teaching abilities. So it is unimportant to me how much more he will potentially make per year relative to my pay. It may be strange for me to say, but I am happy that there are jobs that pay a decent paycheck for those who cannot do the traditional college route.

your work advice sounds good. but in the united states, the peer pressure. society. social norms. to go to undergrad immediately after high school. is so strong. society claims that if you do not go to college, straight out high school you end up flipping burgers. society acts like if you go to college you will be successful.

of course not

especially after 2008 recession

plenty of Bachelors holders work at jobs that do not require degrees. such as barista at Starbucks. big deal. some articles claim that only half of Bachelors holders work at jobs that require degrees. much less their degrees.

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but, it is too late for me

and as usual, i am "beyond repair".

permanently wounded

"too far gone".

"a day late, a dollar short."

my precious lil "parents" made me take the SAT in 7th grade. and start studying for it in 3rd grade. they are Chinese. they came to united states when i was 2 years old. they flat out assumed and demanded my older sister and me go to college straight out high school.

and not just any college

not community college. and not State University. they said that if we/i went to community college, then we would not be academically prepared to perform at a Bachelors program. they said that if we went to State, then that would make us stupider.

my precious lil "parents" went to community college and got an AA in History and an AA in Early Childhood Development. and a BA in Liberal Arts. schoolteacher. CBEST and CSET passed.

yeah anyways my precious lil "mom" was 50 when she got a BA from State. so she acted like getting an education was a panacea.

be all end all

seriously

and in chinese culture, they pretty much worship formal education. academic intelligence. school is much harder there. especially math.

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so yeah i should've gotten work experience out of high school. get used to dealing with precious lil "people".

and then i went to UCSD which i should not have done.

b/c san diego is so homophobic, republican, and rich. not diverse.

precious lil san diegans. "people". were materialistic, classist, sexist

so glad i left

but of course that ain't to my credit.

seriously i wish i never went to college altogether

but what was the alternative, working a minimum wage job?

my precious lil "parents" would not have tolerated it

but maybe i should've insisted

it would've been better for my work prospects in the future

but whatever

hindsight bias

thinking about it makes me wanna puke

but you can't change the past

so oh well

whatever

and besides that i majored in the wrong major

should've majored in a trade. carpentry, HVAC, land surveying.

something that ain't STEM, social sciences, or humanities. something functional that requires only community college
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and now i have only had a couple jobs

and they were all minimum wage

and they fired me

and i ain't got no job skills

at least no job skills that everyone else also does not have

and i regret going to college

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so now i get so discouraged. lazy. anemic. tired. exhausted. fatigued

that i do little all day long

besides lie on the ground outside

and soon the $$$ will run out

and i will become homeless

and i am afraid of social rejection

and i am afraid of failure

and my "life" would've been better in all ways, (all else being equal), if i were to have just not gone to college

but i just had to succumb to peer pressure

i am a coward

i am not good enough

i am worthless

i am socially awkward

i am helpless

nobody cares about me

nobody can help me

and i can't help myself

"life" will only get worse

this is "As Good As it Gets"

seriously

Here's a book I hope you will read -

https://www.amazon.ca/But-What-Dont-Wan ... to+college

It begins with a list of dozens of careers that do not require college or uni. The cost is $0.01 used.

Your are 33yo - you have about 50 years to live! Cut the ties to a life that doesn't exist, you might want a counselor for that. No matter what people tell you, education does not equal a job. But these trades are a good possibility.

You'd think so but last week my counselor told me to go to college. Odd, considering I already have a job.

She went to college. I guess she's just a part of the culture that says college is an essential part of life, even when there's no practical need for it.

I guess culture encourages people to think in narratives like, go to high school play a sport or other extra-curricular, have your first kiss, work through the summer, go to college, go to gradschool, get married, be a good consumer, get a big mortgage on your house with a white picket fence and then have 2.4 kids.

^
You left out the SUV and alimony.

How could I forget the SUV?

Isn't it wonderful that we have a culture that encourages us to work 12 hour days so we can do things like buy SUVs or make realtors rich by buying a large and cheaply made McMansion with which we hope to impress our friends.

How did being a workaholic become a virtue? It's unhealthy.

(I guess I'm a hypocrite because I work 12 hour days lol)

Go to college.

Claradoon wrote:

Your are 33yo - you have about 50 years to live! Cut the ties to a life that doesn't exist, you might want a counselor for that.

You'd think so but last week my counselor told me to go to college. Odd, considering I already have a job.
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yeah a long time ago, already cut the ties to the numerous homophobic self-important precious lil "people" from san diego. although, at no point was i in an "in" group in any sense of the word. not even after going to lgbt support groups and whatnot.




but whatever. "life" goes on.

in the beginning of November last year, went to a counselor, paid by medical insurance. it was once a week for the first 6 months. the second six months is once every other week. after that, no counseling.

thinking of whether i want more counseling after that. counseling could be a very good or a bad thing. depends on the specific counselor.

in the past, had a lot of different counselors. psychiatrists, psychologist, licensed clinical social worker, volunteer counselor with 170 hours training.

a lot of them intimidated or annoyed me a bit too much.

some of them were totally obsessed with the Mandated Reporter Law. a psychologist had the nerve to tell me that he wanted to physically assault the president. he acted like he was trying to bait me into saying "me too". and then 5150.

a LCSW asked me Mandated Reporter questions 3 times in one hour. if they ask mandated reporter questions every time the client expresses a negative emotion, then how is the client supposed to discuss anything negative?

another LCSW asked me how i was doing. answered "depressed". then she asked Mandated Reporter questions. but i disclosed, in writing, that i got a diagnosis for clinical depression.

okay.

dealbreaker.

anyone can label anything as "disrespectful" or "rude". but everyone has a legal right to say whatever they want. including psychologists. (fine).

but seriously, i ain't playing around with getting sent to 5150, based on some trivial misunderstanding that is bound to come up sooner or later.

and the other thing is that some counselors act so morally innocent. like they have never done anything wrong. one LCSW asked me "does she hrrt you?" ("she": precious lil "mom".)

okay, connotation versus denotation

you have to be very specific with a vague and subjective word like "hurt". another counselor told me that something is "hurtful" if it hurts. but the way the LCSW used the word "hurt" made it sound like every time someone hurt someone, that was a Mandated Reporter violation.

seriously.

likewise it don't make no sense for them to ask if you are planning on hurting yourself or anyone else. when you do an action, you have no method of knowing whether the result will hurt, help, neither, or both. for example, my precious lil "parents" made me take the SAT in 7th grade. they told me that doing so would get me a scholarship and make me famous. neither event occurred. besides, the solar system contains plenty of celebrities that did not take the SAT. or at least did not get famous for taking the SAT. and plenty of scholarships are aimed at factors besides academics. (fine). in other words my precious lil "parents" were trying to help me. they believed and thought that what they did would help me. but instead, maybe they ended up hurting me.

they do not know. and neither do i. it is impossible to find out. you would have to do a controlled experiment and keep all variables except one constant.

and the other thing, is. values and priorities. it's like making me take the SAT in 7th grade, you would imagine, "helped" me get a higher SAT score later. (fine). but how much higher, and was the effort worth the outcome? and what kind of drawbacks did all that time studying have? sunk costs. personal opportunity costs.

the other reason why some counselors totally disgust me, is that they are condescending. a psychologist, when i was 17, had the nerve to ask what my precious lil "parents" do not like about me.

i beg his pardon?

he made it sound like my precious lil "parents" had a moral right to not have to deal with anything about me they did not like.

how about they did not like that i was not neurotypical? they did not like that i was not cisgender? they did not like that i was not a Perfect Chinese Daughter? they did not like that i was not an SAT prodigy? then what?

but, in the psychologist's defense, he correctly assumed that my precious lil "parents" were paying for counseling. not me. so the psychologist was just providing customer service.

and then when i was 16, a school psychologist had the nerve to tell me that middle school precious lil "people" bullied me b/c they were jealous that i did better at school than they did. and that "if you work hard, you can be whatever you wanna be when you grow up."

the school psychologist did not know who the bullies were. the school psychologist did not know what emotions the bullies felt. thus far, in medicine and psychology, there is no method of proving that someone has a certain emotion. and besides, what if they were jealous, then what? there are a lot of methods of expressing jealousy, that do not involve violating the Mandated Reporter law.

and besides, i am jealous of a lot of precious lil "people". b/c they are cisgender, neurotypical, skinny, handsome. normal. or @ least, more normal than me. which ain't saying much. some are academically smart. some are vocationally competent. some have friends.

and i do not express that jealousy, in a way that violates the Mandated Reporter law. or any other law.

jealousy is just an emotion. natural or artificial. it happens. it is not like a catastrophe.

"life" goes on. seriously.
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why did your counselor tell you to go to college? what was the context for that order? did you tell the counselor you wanted a job that required college? where did the subject of college come from? what kind of job do you work at? are you satisfied with your job? what college major and which college did the counselor tell you to go to?

b/c in some cases, it is a good idea to go to college.

in some cases, it is a bad idea to go to college.

if your counselor keeps pressuring you to do something you find ineffective, get another counselor.

It's sad that nowadays education doesn't matter to a lot of people. But I think that it is really important to go to college or university because it helps, prepares us for adult life. To be honest, I thought that I needn’t to go to college but after graduation I realised that this was a necessary part of my life (a period of time from being a child and becoming an adult). Yes, studying at college wasn't the easiest period of my life, I received help from family, friends, asked [url]https://[/url] to write my essays. But in the end everything turned out to be great and I received a well-paid job. If you have an opportunity to go to a college don't miss it.

Last edited by B19 on 11 Dec 2019, 1:20 am, edited 1 time in total.: spam

I knew I missed out on something important.

Even people who don't work in the field they majored in seem to have a maturity I lack. Even when they're younger than me.

It's sad that nowadays education doesn't matter to a lot of people. But I think that it is really important to go to college or university because it helps, prepares us for adult life. To be honest, I thought that I needn’t to go to college but after graduation I realised that this was a necessary part of my life (a period of time from being a child and becoming an adult). Yes, studying at college wasn't the easiest period of my life, I received help from family, friends, asked https://au.edubirdie.com to write my essays. But in the end everything turned out to be great and I received a well-paid job. If you have an opportunity to go to a college don't miss it.
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pretty much anything you do helps prepare you for adult life: volunteer work, minimum wage jobs, travelling, Peace Corps, military, college.

and in some ways, going to college just postpones adult life.

college has pros and cons, just like everything else.

society grotesquely exaggerates the pros. and minimizes or denies the cons altogether.

and everyone's situation is different.

financial situation, career goals, IQ score, priorities

besides nowadays, some articles claim that half of people with Bachelors degrees work at jobs that do not require degrees.

and nowadays plenty of students take out large loans. and then default on loans.

the whole "college is for everyone" concept repulses. disgusts me. seriously.

especially the social sciences and humanities majors.

college was so stressful

and for me it wasn't necessary to get the several minimum wage jobs i worked at.

when i went to college, i did not fit in socially.

and i could not keep up academically.

and things cost so much in la jolla.

and precious lil "people" were superficial, self important, entitled, impatient.





seriously

among all the major mistakes i have ever made, by far one of the largest: going to college.

^ Did you graduate? If not did you get a good job without a degree?

I bungled into a job but without a degree there's no chance for advancement. I was reading through all the roles I can apply for internally and they all require a bachelor degree. Not an obstacle for most of the staff. Nearly all of them have a bachelor of software engineering. HR take it for granted that everyone has a degree in the same way that people take it for granted that cars have four wheels.

Are college students really like that? I was hoping they'd be intelligent, sociable, spontaneous and knowledgeable about obscure literature and music.

^ Did you graduate? If not did you get a good job without a degree?

I bungled into a job but without a degree there's no chance for advancement. I was reading through all the roles I can apply for internally and they all require a bachelor degree. Not an obstacle for most of the staff. Nearly all of them have a bachelor of software engineering. HR take it for granted that everyone has a degree in the same way that people take it for granted that cars have four wheels.
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shortfabaldtuglyman wrote:
and precious lil "people" were superficial, self important, entitled, impatient.
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Are college students really like that? I was hoping they'd be intelligent, sociable, spontaneous and knowledgeable about obscure literature and music.
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yes. got a BA in Cognitive Science from UCSD. since then worked as a Data Entry Clerk, Communications Contractor, Actor, Recordkeeping Assistant. all the "jobs" (if you could call them jobs) were barely above minimum wage. except communications contractor. that was paid per product. and 40 cents per review. below minimum wage.

yes i did get jobs. and then those precious lil "people" had the nerve to fire my worthless corpse.

were they "good" jobs? that's subjective. the jobs were good, in that i did not have to interact with anyone. did not have to do anything physically difficult or dangerous. just boring. they were not good jobs, in that they barely paid. and that the precious lil "people" that interacted with me were condescending.

about your job. a job counselor said that sometimes, applicants that did not meet all the requirements listed in the job listing, get hired. (maybe that does not happen often. or maybe it happens only under extreme circumstances.) and yes, everything else being equal, it's better to have a degree than not have a degree. but everything else ain't equal. besides, it also matters what school, what degree, what subject, and sometimes GPA. so whatever.

but, in STEM fields, they are more anal retentive than social science and humanities.

among the college students that interacted with me, a disproportionate number seemed (to me), to be superficial, self important, entitled, impatient. the way they seemed to me was not necessarily the way they seemed to everyone or anyone else. likewise, the college students that interacted with me are not the same ones that interact with you. the world contains a lot of college students. the ones that interacted with me are not a representative sample.
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" I was hoping they'd be intelligent, sociable, spontaneous and knowledgeable about obscure literature and music." some of them are. some of them are not. you have to specify which college student. and at which time. sometimes i am sociable myself. but the older i get the more it all seems useless and stupid. and not worth the energy.

I have so far only read the first page, but this thread really speaks to my heart. So far, the thread author and beckys' posts are my favorite ones. Thank you.

Ok but how can I handle the stress of getting my degree while I'm working full time?