Post-high school burnout

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I just graduated from high school, yesterday I started a numeric workshop in order to get me into a better math course in time for college. The trouble is, shortly after the class started, I felt immeasurably overwhelmed, event though it is all pretty much review. I am starting to feel extremely burned out by high school. I talked to my parents about taking a year off in order to regroup but they have told me that if I did that, I would forget about college. I am starting to question whether or not college is for me or not, please help!

Hate to say it (for your parents' sake), but you are onto something.

Unless you know 99.9% for certain that you WILL have a good job upon graduation, going to college is foolish in today's economy. Especially if you must finance part or all of the cost.

It's not unusual to be "burned out" from high school. If you go to college, you need to have YOUR OWN reason for wanting to see it through. This is probably 10 times more so for people with AS. That is what will keep you focused when your AS wants to take you elsewhere.

Some time off to work, see what life is like in the "real world" and get some perspective actually tends to help those who CHOOSE to go on to college. They take their studies much more seriously.

Heck, if you get a decent job, you might be able to work your way through school or at least tailor your education to your occupational choice.

Well, I'm a parent, so I'm probably going to go along with your parents and worry that if you take a year off, you may never get into the college "groove." Also, in this economy, college is a good idea, depending upon if you choose a major that will directly lead to a definitive job, not majoring in something amorphous like English (my stupid choice), Music, or Art.

Having said that, if you truly think that you are not college material, or not right NOW, then you should form a plan of an alternative. Very few parents will be against what you want IF you have a definitive plan for an alternative. Any parent with a brain is going to laugh at "I want to find myself by touring Europe on YOUR dime" kind of plan. But if you say "I want to work for a year, then I'll figure out about college" that might work.

High school burnout is common among EVERYONE, not just people on the spectrum. It is too bad that you are taking this class so soon after graduating. You do need a break. But college COULD be a relief in some ways -- yes, it is pressure in some ways, but you also eventually get to study A LOT of what you like to study (after you've finished general ed requirement courses). YOU get to choose. And I guess that's the whole point -- YOU get to choose whether you go to college or not, but you need to make sure that your choices are intelligent, well-planned out, and are serious.

I have to disagree with you. You're assuming that the only reason for college is to get a better-paying job. That's not the only thing one gets out of going to college. Most people change careers at some point in their life .. even getting a sharply-focused technical degree doesn't necessarily lock you in to one field.

A college education opens your mind and broadens you in unimaginable ways. As the saying goes, a mind once stretched never again returns to its original dimensions.

I consider my time at the university to be one of the three or four defining experiences of my life, and my major subject had nothing to do with my eventual career.



I totally agree with you on this. I joined the Navy not long out of high school, then started college after my discharge. Made all the difference in the world.

In this economy, if you finance your education, it is the ONLY factor that matters. You better have the $$$ rolling in fast to get on track for paying it back or you'll drown in it.

And, with how each employer seems to want their own specific BA/BS degree, I think it's foolish to invest in education that ultimately locks you into something. I've been told many times to go back for (yet another) degree. I can't afford what I have already.

I found college to be all about social indoctrination and elitist programming. I don't need to pay people to pump my head full of junk. All the practical stuff I learned I could get from a trade school for a lot less money.

No it isn't.



Everyone's experience differs. As I say, I disgree with you.

I've been having that too. But hopefully I'll be fully recovered in the next 19 days. Try and relax. If your parents already paid for you to go, your kind of stuck for the semester. If not, its up to you. But in the case they already paid & you do poorly (due to burnout or whatever) and you did everything you could to get help & it does not work, they will probably be open to any other viable options (trade school, work, break, transfer etc.) you can come up w/. Those of us who are starting college soon will get through it. You'll find your path. Good Luck!

Curious.

Then how would YOU propose dealing with post-collegiate life and financial obligations? If there isn't a job paying enough income to enable you to support yourself AND repay your debt, what do you do?

I agree with zer0netgain in that it'd be ideal for people to be self-motivated when they go to college. It's also immensely important for people, especially AS folks to understand the real world, and the only way that's going to happen is by actually being in it, not being shut in the ivory tower.

That being said, Stone_Man is absolutely correct about college opening your mind and providing a breadth of education, at least in liberal arts programs. When I went to UC Berkeley as an undergrad, I wasn't all that interested in all the breadth requirements I had to take in order to graduate, but in retrospect those classes gave me at least some understanding that other issues besides my major existed out there, and at least I had a better understanding of some of the more social issues that crop up in the news headlines. Sure the info I got as an undergrad may be cursory or introductory in nature, but that's all I needed at the time. Once I got more experience in the real world, I could appreciate these things I learned even more, and even build on it through my own budding interest in these things.

The truth is that it's just not possible to be self-motivated about everything. If you want to rely on self-motivation for absolutely everything, you might be happier about the learning process but your learning process is going to be very slow because you are at the mercy of your own motivation. How are you ever going to learn about for example religious strife in Southeast Asia if your interests are in game programming? Through the natural sequence of events that allow self-motivation to happen, the link between the two topics may eventually be established, but it'll take a long time compared to the more brute-force approach of learning it in a classroom environment. You don't have to accept it as 100% truth at the time, but that doesn't matter... the seeds of knowledge will be planted and will sprout should the topic arise again.

While I think that zer0netgain's comments have some merit, I think that they reflect more on the extreme side of the weaknesses of classroom learning vs. the school of hard knocks, one of the weaknesses being the danger that students in the classroom will take what they learn in the classroom as 100% truth without question. However, what I hope people would realize is that you need to know what the current (perhaps incorrect) dogma is, before you can change it.

As for the economy, well the economy is not expected to suck forever. The "hot" fields change from time to time, heck at UCB in the late '90s it was all about computer programming and electrical engineering, but then of course the tech bubble burst and the crazy salaries and stuff are gone. With today's society defining career success as coming only from choosing a career path and sticking to it for life, I think it's easy for people to think that education locks you into a certain path. That's what we're trained to think: high school -> college -> career, with increasing degrees of specialization. It really doesn't have to be that way, however; formal education is very largely what you make of it, just like work/life experience. If you let formal education restrict your thinking, you will get locked in. If you view formal education as a tool for diverse things, then you will actually feel more empowered and free instead.

I wish EMPLOYERS would realize that. Granted, a bad economy hurts the applicant more (larger pool of qualified people employers can nitpick for someone "just right" for the job), but that employers want people with very specific training (irrelevant since an intelligent person can quickly learn the job...college teaches very few relevant and current job skills) only makes it harder to get a shot at something if you have one set of credentials and they are not precisely tailored for the job you apply for.

When an employer says I could go back to school, I want to punch them in the nose. Do they have any concept how EXPENSIVE education is? Do they have any concept of how much I need to earn NOW to get what I have in existing loans under control? I'm sorry. I can't be a Jack-Of-All-Trades when it comes to credentials. I can be versatile and learn real fast, but no, going back for yet another degree is off the table until I am in a position to get existing college debt under control.

I had that same problem back in 1997, the year I graduated high school. my parents were like either school or work. Even though I was intelligent enough for school, but I was not emotionally ready nor was I able to take on a job. I ended up working at a wal-mart and suffered a lot of stress, but because I was not considered disabled, according to everyone around me, I was forced to go to school. Though I did well, my parents never gave me time to think about what I wanted to do with my future, nor even considered that I might have benefited from some rehabilitation services, like career assessment to figure out what I can do with my disability. As a result, i had a huge breakdown and ended up in the services for the mentally ret*d and put into a residence, even though I am way too intelligent to be here.
Now 10 years later, i have finally decided what I want to do and now I am going to the correct place, rehabilitation services, instead of mental ret*d services. I am going back to school in September and I am looking forward to leaving the residence. The sad thing is, if only my parents would have allowed me that 1 year to think and settle my life, I would have been graduated from college,and never put into these mentally ret*d services.

I often try to understand and visualize math (the way you might visualize a graph). This has its advantages, but it does come at a high cost of effort and time, and it doesn't help to try and force yourself. It's more of a Zen-like thing of allowing it to happen.

So, I might really struggle with a review course. No, I'm not going to know all of it. And even the stuff I've had, it's probably been a while.

I tell myself there are at least two dozen good ways to understand! (I'm not sure I could list them all, but there probably are a bunch.) And even the method of mechanically applying a formula and being open to later understanding probably has its place.

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And it could also be something as simple as the teacher being not well-organized in his or her presentation, or that he or she gets bogged down in the details, or something like that.

Good for the corporation, not so good for the human being looking for the job.

There's a real social justice question. A modern economy seems to produce plenty of books, clothes, restaurants, etc., except for the one thing that matters most---meaningful work (meaningful projects engaged in a social fashion, or if done individually, appreciated in a social fashion, including the tangible appreciation of money!).

Standard "human resource" practice is almost to look for reasons not to hire a person. And this disadvantages any person who is different for any reason.

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Lately I have been considering the idea that I do better in jobs working directly with customers and clients because some clients LIKE me because I'm different and most others are matter-of-fact about someone who is different (I have a moderate speech impediment, really just a speech difference, plus I like to wind the conversation back to some of my favorite intellectual topics, although I'm getting better at small talk and being open to someone else's interests). Where I tend not to do well is with a nervous corporate type who I guess is attempting to read how others are likely to respond to me (their view, which certainly seems to be an overly narrow view of what is constructive).

And those kind of authoritarian beliefs are repeated so often, that even otherwise alright parents can end up believing them.

And any kind of alternative set of beliefs: let people be different, let people go at their own pace, let people make their own contributions (like we're doing right here by openly discussing Asperger's and Autism Spectrum!), those kind of beliefs haven't yet gained any kind of real traction.

After trying to make it as a writer and being somewhat supported by my parents, after peace activism during the first Gulf War (1991) and thinking there has to be jobs in progressive organizations for people who passionately care about these issues (not really, and the few jobs are overwhelmingly on the sales side, and not for people who want to think deeply and then communicate their thoughts, yeah, I suppose there are a few progressive think tanks, but from what little I was able to see, they want established people, and not new and independent people).

after all this, I worked at Kroger's grocery store, and it was pretty awful. I was 29 and some of the high school kids working there made fun of my voice. Straight up. I would ask each person privately and politely to stop. All but one stopped, this one guy in choir and church with seemingly excellent social skills. Go figure. Well, nothing works all the time. Certainly with complex and flawed human beings, nothing works in any kind of guaranteed and automatic fashion. I didn't believe I could go to store management because of my then (simplistic) views about employee solidarity, plus it's viewed as royally uncool to go to the authorities in a number of settings. It all depends on how you do it. Some things are serious enough that they need to be reported formally or go up the chain of command. Or, for less serious, like this clown, there is a method, 'Look, I don't want to be a jerk and report this to Mr. Harris. Don't make me be a jerk and report this to Mr. Harris. So, the ball's kind of in your court, you understand?' Again, it can't be a clunky thing you're expecting to automatically work. You have to read the person and adjust (and please understand, like so many times, I am primarily preaching to myself). The managers would yell at us and criticize us, more just a cardboard parody of exercising authority. We were called by our first names, including over the intercom, the managers were called by their last name. The union was primarily interested in sales (new members), not social justice issues, even something as glaring as a front-end supervisor taking away the mats because they were worn and ratty.

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Be a positive person. And good luck on your new school semester and your new living abode!

Prestudy. Dive into the subjects just as soon as you can, and go broad. Take notes in class just to stay alert, and then skim the notes very quickly in like two or three minutes as you're sitting waiting for the next class to start. (These are all obviously methods that have worked for me. You of course have to find methods that will work for you.)

Have a backup class you can add the first week in case one of the professors looks like he or she just isn't going to be that good.

Ask a professor for permission to sit in on a couple of classes this semester to scout out and prepare for next semester.

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If you can, be a coach and advocate and a friend for the people still in the residence. Or, you may need to distance yourself. Trust your feelings and go with your feelings in medium steps, see how it works out and adjust from there.

Fall semester is the best time to visit and join student organizations, although many groups just aren't that active. They have a meeting once or twice and month and that's it. As an older student and a person who is different with unique and special gifts, consider forming your own group (yeah, you'll first have to attend some dopey orientation the first week or two in student activities, try and take notes and make the best of it, and realize the person giving it is trying their best according to their own lights).

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I have experimented with shorter think periods. If I wake up in a thoughtful mood, or if I take a walk in the morning and feel the need to think over some issues important to me, I tell myself 0, 1, 2, or 3. Once I sit at a desk, I am in no way obligated to explore every one of these issues in depth. In fact, there's a lot of advantages to underdoing it.

So, one thing I have learned (it looks like a person did it because, or theory: ) or especially the things I have learned. A single sentence I might want to try in a social situation.
0, 1, 2, 3

It's a very good addition to my occasional longer think periods.

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The career path you have decided upon. In a straightforward and matter-of-fact way (nothing fancy required) find people already in that field and ask them how to get that first job and how to be successful in that first job. Also how to be successful in that second job.

Yes, this is zerOnetgain saying this. In my previous post, I misdid the quote function. Sorry about that.

Now, regarding corporate hiring practices, I might also add that the conventional approach is to hire someone overqualified, so much so that person is often already bored the start of their second week.

AardvarkGoodSwimmer:
Thank you for the encouraging advice.
I have been pre-studying for the past 5 years, especially on the medical stuff, since I am going to do Histology Technician. For a long time I wanted something in the medical field. Through my studying, i realized that I was interested in the whole cells, tissues, and the other little things about the body. I also had to see what I can and can not do because of my Asperger's(mainly the social emotional parts). I know I love laboratories because they are quiet and I do not deal with patients, so i chose this.
I am even going through the Rehabilitation counseling and getting out of the mentally ret*d services and they are talking to the school to have me go into a quiet study room that is separate for disabled students. I do not have any learning disabilities because Asperger's does not affect the way or how I learn. It affects me to where noise and social, basically other people, can distract me. I am not able to study at home, since I live in a residence. Even though it is a duplex and I have my own side, the people next door who share their side with each other who have classic to moderate autism and mental retardation, make noise constantly, bang on walls, and the staff can not or will not stop them. Also, the basement always has noise because that is where they have meetings, the manager's office, and other activities of noise going on.
As for being with the people in the residence, it is not a good idea, since the have bullied me and are causing me stress and it will distract my thinking to a point where I will not be successful. The managers and I have agreed to have the other residents and I stay away from each other. Plus, these people are not worth my time and their staff do not care if they bully me and I get yelled at if I say or complain about it. that is also why I am leaving the residence.
As for activities, i would have to see first. It is very difficult for me to take on any activities while I am in school because of the stress of having too much on my plate. Thank you for the suggestion, though. I may check one out, but I would have to be very careful. The last time I went to college, I went in 1998, I joined one and it became too much.
Thank you again, Aardvark for everything. Good luck with your ventures, as well. There are probably a lot of passionate jobs out there for you, now that we are in times where there are a lot of peace activism going on. They have things where you could talk to people and do a lot of your talents there. I see just by your post that you are great at it already and can make a difference in this world. Good luck.