How to make friends at a community college.

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I need some advice on making friends at a Community College. It is harder because people do not live on campus and it seems like most people are interested in just hanging with their old friends from High School. I tried to look into clubs and organizations but there are no clubs at this point.

What do I do? I really want to get my social life to take off. I do not want to waste this experience. I know it is much easier to accomplish this when you are living with everyone at a four year but I am at least a year off before that happens. I was able to make two strong aquaintances last year that I did things with but it did not stick. Any advice would be appreciated.

Not sure where you live but if the law allows do people frequent bars, a few beers help in opening up social inhibitions such as actually talking to people, please don't take offense I'm just remembering my own college days. Took me while to make friends but when I did they turned out to be good friends.

Not sure... I went to a residential, 4-year, "little ivy league" school. However, I would recommend asking someone to meet you for coffee to discuss a class project or say that you need help (even if this is a 'white lie'... a concept that I didn't get until recently). Also, many colleges assign group projects, which could tentitively help with this sort of thing.

I am attending a community college, too...and yes, it can be difficult to make friends when other students commute from home and do not live on campus. But, it is not impossible. You just have to make a harder effort to make friends.

Get acquainted with the other students in your classes. Form a study group with your student classmates and meet somewhere (the school library, a classroom not being used by another class, a study lounge on campus or some other place) to help each other learn the course material and do well
on exams...it has been proven that study groups help to increase your grades, too.

Join clubs and organizations on the college campus that interest you. Not everyone is eager to leave the college campus after classes are over and clubs and organizations will allow you to meet the students who do live on campus.

Get involve in VOLUNTEER activities, either on campus or in the community. Volunteer at a youth center, an animal shelter, a soup kitchen, a hospital...Volunteer work looks good on a job application after you finish your education, especially if it is related to your college major and provides
you with job experience throughout your college years. Just work a few hours a week or a month, whatever your school schedule allows.

Do not hang out in bars or hang out with individuals who drink alcohol...too many students have gotten into serious trouble under the influence of alcohol.

Best of luck to you!

Undertry.

Whether a class or a student group, focus on the activity or the accomplishment or the experience or on learning something new, and allow the social to be a happy bonus.

For example, in a class sit toward the front where the better students tend to sit (the more serious students, let's put it that way). And maybe after a particularly hard class, ask one of your fellow students.

'Would you like to hit the library and go over some of this stuff?'

And that's it. That's the best you can do. 50-50 chance that it will work. So, light touch it. Don't invest too much in it and you won't be too disappointed.

The important thing, sometimes after one social interaction slips away, another one will immediately present itself. And by not being overly disappointed by the first, you will be able to see and recognize this second opportunity.

And keep the first get together short, like a half hour, or maybe just 20 minutes.

'Okay, maybe one or two more problems, then I do need to get going.'

That kind of thing. And you might be able to improve on this.


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Once Fall semester starts, there should be student groups you can visit. And consider forming your own group! And in time, groups plural. Develop your skills in delegation, and pick groups that by their very nature, as long as things are moving forward in a generally positive direction, they do not need to be done perfectly. It sounds like this will be your second year at your community college, and if so, that makes you one of the senior students.


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And remember, even someone with above-average social skills . . .

Someone with really above-average skills, who in high school had built a network of friends, acquaintances, and close friends, who had been a contributor and a builder and an appreciator of people, and open to trying new things, but in medium steps in a highly communicative way with friends where trust has been built up on both sides. All that, all those excellent skills. (who obviously has an advantageous mental framework, has observed good modeling of this, and has good support from family)

Even such a person with that much above-average skills (although still not perfect!), if he or she was attending a community college and starting fresh, they would have slow going with a number of disappointments.

So cut yourself some slack. Experiment with skills you're comfortable with, see how it goes, and take it from there.

Thanks for all the advice. It has really been helpful. I hope to make some friends this year and improve my social skills.

Most of this will help me too! Thanks!! !

Honestly I go to a Community College and I still talk to my High School freinds and I really feel like going to Community College is like a jail because of the large population of weird people at there (Druggies, Stoners, Gangsters), boring atmosphere and the list goes on and on. I feel like it's hell, and the girls who were hitting on me were weirdos (Aspieish types and i was like ewww go away). If you see me, i don't dress or look like an Aspie or I don't have the Aspie traits in my personality as much as I was younger. (Except the fact that I argue too much with my parents). I mean I usually think before I say things when I am out with my freinds, don't do stupid things as I used to, try to act too desperate, and I usually keep my mouth shut when I am in class so I guess JC is okay and I will have to live with it until I get the hell out. I will be so relieved once I get out, lol.

Please try and cut some slack to people who may not have yet developed the social skills you have. You're not obligated to be anyone's friend. And you're certainly not obligated to go on a date with anyone.

Personally, I like women who are weird, original, creative, unique, who march to their own drummer and do their own thing, whether they are aspie or not. But primarily, I have to just plain like her, and it's always unique to the circumstances.

Now, when I first went to a large four-year state college way back in 1982, I was surprised at how much bullying and physical intimidation there was among the young men, it was like we were back in junior high or something. I guess when I was in high school, people kind of knew each other from junior high and there was an informal hierarchy. But the young men were just thrown together in college, and they seemingly recoursed to primate behaviour. Hopefully today, with the emphasis on bullying, "that s**t ain't cool," people will not simply recourse to the stupid stuff, but will have the patience to look for and find better ways. I hope so. I still recommend taking both boxing and karate lessons, for background confidence, you're not looking to use it, if it comes down to it you'll graciously win a fight without boasting, you'd almost prefer to fight to a draw, for you are not looking to humiliate anyone (almost everything you see in movies is wrong). Let the person get angry without responding in kind. Simply allow them to have space when they need it (without first deciding whether or not they should need space, let them be mistaken in this regard). So yes, all this about boxing, at the same time, I also recommend Gene Sharp, a scholar on nonviolence. And I especially recommend the novels of Irwin Shaw. Somehow he taught me, it's okay to be different, measured disclosure, short one-sentence statements, and see how the other person responds.

You might want to move laterally and go to another community college. Also, see if you can scout out professors. 'May I sit in on a couple of classes.' Keep it simple. All you're trying to do is to find out if the professor is at least average to good, then move on and scout out a professor in the next subject you might be taking in the future.

I was in the nursing program at a community college and it forced us to be together for long periods of time. So you pretty much had to eat lunch with classmates etc. Study groups were formed and they were somewhat helpful in meeting new people. Its always hard at community colleges. My school had a student government association. If yours has something similiar look into that. Also alot of community colleges have hobby classes. Those kinds of classes make it easier to meet new people.
I have a difficult time talking to new ppl so I usually wait until someone latches on to me but the few times I went out of my way to make friends I chose the more eccentric acting people and started talking to them b/c it was alot easier and they were more accepting of me.

I rather meet people by doing activities that would interest me. That way, you all have a common ground.
The problem with meeting people during class is, with myself anyway, is that when I am trying to learn and/or study while in class, people would disturb me by trying to make conversation. When they do that, I end up losing my concentration and it is very frustrating. Also, because of my Asperger's, i am not able to study while listening to someone else talk to me(it is that one-track mind thing).