EPIC FAIL: mom trying to get teachers to...

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Shebakoby
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12 Sep 2009, 1:51 pm

...'discipline' me for drawing while in class.

This was her 'brilliant idea': She went to each of my teachers on one of those Parent-teacher nights and asked them to give me extra homework if they saw me drawing in class. They didn't really indicate that they wouldn't, but it never happened. Then I realized something. Most teachers are NOT going to assign extra work to children. After all, who has to mark that extra work? THEY DO. And they're not going to give themselves extra work to do in order to satisfy some parent's obsession with preventing 'drawing in class'.

I can't help it, I MUST draw in class. Doesn't matter which one.

Another 'brilliant' idea of mom's...and one that screwed me over badly a few times, was her idea to write down all the homework I had been assigned for each class, and get each teacher from each class to sign the piece of paper. This was to 'ensure' that the homework I wrote down was accurate. Even though I had NOT 'not done' homework, nor had I lied about what homework I'd had. Nor had teachers gotten me in trouble for not doing it.

What ended up happening is often when the bell rang, the teacher's desk would suddenly be crowded with students talking to them. At the end of the day, this made for serious delays sometimes. So by the time I got this idiotic piece of paper signed, I had missed my bus home and had to go to the office and phone for a ride home. Thankfully this happened enough times and inconvenienced my parents badly enough that she dropped this ridiculous requirement.



Willard
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12 Sep 2009, 2:40 pm

I completely understand the need to draw in class. I did it all through school - it was the only way I could focus on what was being said and retain it. If I looked anywhere else, I just became distracted by my own internal monologue and didn't hear the teacher; while my visual focus was on the paper and pencil, I heard every word.

The only place it might have presented a problem was in math class, where seeing what the teacher is doing helps comprehension, but I couldn't wrap my head around higher mathematics anyway, whether I watched or not. Anything more complex than multiplication or long division is still over my head - not because I'm too dumb to understand it - my brain just doesn't think in those types of patterns, so it all looks like pointless gibberish to me. I understand that it has its uses, but I'm not an engineer, so I don't care.

I have however, made a career out of drawing pictures. :D

Mom needs to understand that your personal special interests are your best bet for finding a livelihood you can be happy at. Aspies cannot stay focused on things that bore them. If you're ever going to make a living for yourself, it will have to be at something you love.

Besides, in this case, drawing is a stim. Punishing an autistic for stimming is just cruel.

Its like suggesting that Michael J Fox should be thrashed for twitching. :roll:



Silvervarg
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12 Sep 2009, 2:41 pm

:lol: Atleast she wanted you to learn. ^^
And drawing is better than reading in class. (I did both regulary. :D)


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AspieFireMan
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12 Sep 2009, 2:55 pm

Drawing is much better then doing what I did in class

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Shebakoby
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12 Sep 2009, 3:50 pm

Willard wrote:
I completely understand the need to draw in class. I did it all through school - it was the only way I could focus on what was being said and retain it. If I looked anywhere else, I just became distracted by my own internal monologue and didn't hear the teacher; while my visual focus was on the paper and pencil, I heard every word.

The only place it might have presented a problem was in math class, where seeing what the teacher is doing helps comprehension, but I couldn't wrap my head around higher mathematics anyway, whether I watched or not. Anything more complex than multiplication or long division is still over my head - not because I'm too dumb to understand it - my brain just doesn't think in those types of patterns, so it all looks like pointless gibberish to me. I understand that it has its uses, but I'm not an engineer, so I don't care.

I have however, made a career out of drawing pictures. :D

Mom needs to understand that your personal special interests are your best bet for finding a livelihood you can be happy at. Aspies cannot stay focused on things that bore them. If you're ever going to make a living for yourself, it will have to be at something you love.

Besides, in this case, drawing is a stim. Punishing an autistic for stimming is just cruel.

Its like suggesting that Michael J Fox should be thrashed for twitching. :roll:


Mom had the mistaken belief that:

-drawing in class meant I wasn't paying attention or doing my work, both of which were false.
-drawing on schoolwork is bad (I usually drew a lot on my workbooks in elementary school, but these were the disposable ones). Occasionally I drew in the extra blank pages of a book because, well what else were those pages for?



Tahitiii
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12 Sep 2009, 4:42 pm

My daughter used to drive me crazy. When I read a bedtime story, she would wander around her room and touch stuff. I'm a visual learner and my auditory processing stinks. I need to really focus, and maybe even take notes, when the medium is limited to auditory. I couldn't imagine being any other way.

My kid is more auditory than visual, and moving around actually helped her. I couldn't believe it, so I had to stop once in a while and ask her to repeat what I had just read. She got it right every time.

It still made me crazy.



Willard
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12 Sep 2009, 5:12 pm

Shebakoby wrote:
Mom had the mistaken belief that:

-drawing in class meant I wasn't paying attention or doing my work, both of which were false.


Yep - heard that accusation a million times. Completely false.

Shebakoby wrote:
-drawing on schoolwork is bad (I usually drew a lot on my workbooks in elementary school, but these were the disposable ones). Occasionally I drew in the extra blank pages of a book because, well what else were those pages for?


Some of my teachers were actually amused at the pictures I drew on my hand-in papers. Had one history teacher who was a fine cartoonist himself.

Books, on the other hand, I can't condone. Books are sacred vessels for the transmission of knowledge and intelligence (even the ones that are crap count as figurative representations of the archetype). I can't recommend doodling in them - unless they're the blank ones specially made for sketching in.



Shebakoby
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12 Sep 2009, 5:15 pm

Willard wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
Mom had the mistaken belief that:

-drawing in class meant I wasn't paying attention or doing my work, both of which were false.


Yep - heard that accusation a million times. Completely false.

Shebakoby wrote:
-drawing on schoolwork is bad (I usually drew a lot on my workbooks in elementary school, but these were the disposable ones). Occasionally I drew in the extra blank pages of a book because, well what else were those pages for?


Some of my teachers were actually amused at the pictures I drew on my hand-in papers. Had one history teacher who was a fine cartoonist himself.

Books, on the other hand, I can't condone. Books are sacred vessels for the transmission of knowledge and intelligence (even the ones that are crap count as figurative representations of the archetype). I can recommend doodling in them - unless they're the blank ones specially made for sketching in.

Well to be fair I mostly used pencil, and my drawings were 'better' (and not messy) than the ones other kids left in their books. I was caught one year, cuz my brother got the Julius Caesar book that I had used (what are the chances?!) the year before! It still had the pencil drawing of the horse and fox I put there on the inside cover.



buryuntime
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12 Sep 2009, 5:50 pm

That's silly. Tell her if she wants to do anything to help YOU, she should talk to the teachers and ask THEM how you can be helped in school.



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12 Sep 2009, 6:01 pm

I'm sorry your Mom doesn't "get" you... but I really think you should try not to look down on her. She might not understand what makes you tick, but she's still your Mom, and she does ahve your best interests at heart. Maybe you didn't mean to come across as though you despise your Mom, but it did look as though you were sneering at her failure to discipline you. That's not respectful. She might drive you up the wall, but she's fed and clothed you, and cares enough about you to try to help you academically. Okay, so she's not a teacher, and she doesn't know anything about different people's mental mechanisms... But in just the same way as "she doesn't get you," so you don't get her.

She's not doing this because she hates you. She might not be doing the best thing, but she loves you enough to care about your education. That's something to be thankful for.

When I was a teenager, and my Dad drove me up the wall, I'd take a deep breath and remember who worked to feed me, drove me round to my various things, bought my clothes and books, and looked after me when I was sick. NTs and Aspies may not always communicate well, but if we love each other, that should go a long way.

My Mum died when I was nineteen, this is why I feel strongly that we should love our parents while we have them, because we never know how long we've got. Your Mom is reacting poorly... but she's doing her best. Be patient with her, and love her back. Even if she makes you want to scream.

She's Mom.



Shebakoby
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12 Sep 2009, 6:05 pm

buryuntime wrote:
That's silly. Tell her if she wants to do anything to help YOU, she should talk to the teachers and ask THEM how you can be helped in school.


I'm not sure she articulated that well. It's not like I needed academic help most of the time...



Dianitapilla
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12 Sep 2009, 6:20 pm

I studied industrial design.

Met enough people that was drawing at their school lessons when they were younger to tell you that this doesn't mean you are stupid, or less academycal than the rest, or that you learn slower or that you are going to have a unsuccessful life cause you won't manage to be accepted at MIT.

You mother is being unable to understand your point of view, have you ever talk to her straight about this?

my advice is KEEP DRAWING if it's distending for you, and finally one day your mother will give up cause any way is not like it's causing you problems and even if it was, what's the problem!! ! some kids are borned with talent for sports, some other for being "good kids" but empty bastards in the inside... you where born with two habilities enjoying drawing, and being able to do more than one thing at the same time, and do them all well. ;)

Keep on! and enjoy... let your mother read this thread ;o)


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Tory_canuck
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13 Sep 2009, 4:40 am

I drew and doodled all the time in my books....Im in college and STILL do it.My GPA in the first year was a 2.9 out of 4.0 which is considered good acedemic standing.I can sit in a lecture, write notes and doodle at the same time...that is how I retain information...I can soak up information like a sponge if interested and basically almost memorize the whole lecture...I can spit out almost the whole lecture verbally.classmates are amazed at how well I remember everything.I have excellent memory when it comes to facts, numbers, and letters and events.


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15 Sep 2009, 11:46 pm

My college lecture notes have lots of drawings in them...LOL...if my instructors were to ever see them, theyd be busy looking at the drawings out of interest :D

If I see drawings in textbooks or notebooks Im always inclined to look at them all out of curiosity...sometimes i leaf through my old notes and see my old drawings...


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pschristmas
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16 Sep 2009, 12:42 am

I'm sorry you're having these problems. I'd suggest pointing out research that suggests that doodling and drawing actually improve concentration, but I don't think she'd be willing to listen. It sounds like she's trying to create problems that don't actually exist. It also sounds, though, like your teachers have pretty much all decided to just nod and smile and ignore her latest whim, to their credit.

Best of luck.



CattusMaximus
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24 Sep 2009, 10:01 pm

Quote:
Most teachers are NOT going to assign extra work to children. After all, who has to mark that extra work? THEY DO.


Wait a minute... your teacher actually looks at the work he gives out?

I used to get stuff back unmarked and tutors would say "yes... er... very good" and try to bluff their way through my questions on what they thought about it and how it could be improved.