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Have you experienced anything like this?
Poll ended at 09 Mar 2006, 12:46 pm
Yes 40%  40%  [ 4 ]
Yes 40%  40%  [ 4 ]
No 10%  10%  [ 1 ]
No 10%  10%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 10

deep-techno
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23 Feb 2006, 12:43 pm

There is a boy at school (Who I will mention as QWERTY) who tells people things about me, and when he is with/working with his friends in a group, suddenly someone has often said something to me, like "QWERTY's smarter than you' or 'QWERTY is better than you at maths'. The person saying this, I bet, would not say that themselves. QWERTY must have told them to do it, since I once heard his friend say to me, "You called [some boy's name] a fat b******. QWERTY told me."

That was absolutely not true, and I never said anything. This means that QWERTY has been spreading malicious lies about me, and he often mentions my name in class, and like he's ever paid me a compliment! (I am being sarcastic - he's never paid me a compliment, but often whimsically says "Ollie is cool" but not actually meaning it) Therefore QWERTY always says horrible things about me and he tells other people to insult me on his behalf. Or, if they mention him being smarter than me, or anything else more than me, etc., then technically QWERTY is being concieted. Why doesn't he just say it himself?

I had a meeting with a learning support teacher with QWERTY as his fooling around had resulted in unexpected verbal bullying to me. I mentioned that QWERTY was spreading things about me not being good at sport, and about me unknowingly dribbling in my own half in basketball. She did mention that I was autistic. He did apologise, and left me alone for a while.

He started again today, and in science this morning, his friend asked me (in an attempt to annoy me) "Can you spell whimsical?" (Because I took part in a national spelling competition and lost on whimsical) and I was trying to tell them to shut up, and they asked me if I can spell a very long word, to which I said no. Then I asked, "Can you?" Then someone there said yes, but they spelt it from the sheet they were looking at. I then got quite strict, and said to them, "Now you're being very whimsical!" but that had no effect.

Later in the day, QWERTY was talking about his maths test result (102% :? But he must have done lots of working out marks) and I said mine, which was 84%. Then for absolutely no reason whatsoever, QWERTY's friend says, "QWERTY is better than you at maths." Now his friend wouldn't instinctively have said that, so I bet QWERTY told him to do that.

I keep worrying about this and I think QWERTY does this to me because I am autistic. In Year 7 (8th grade) I did a presentation to my class about Asperger's Syndrome. Everybody left me alone. In Year 8 (9th grade) in an art lesson, QWERTY was making fun of me with some other boys.

Me: Why are you making fun of me?
QWERTY: Because you're autistic.

I think he cannot accept that I am different and that I do have difficulties. Just incase anything like this happens again, I would like to know some things to say in a situation like this. That b****** QWERTY is cruel and wicked. If he doesn't like me being autistic, then he should just leave that school. I don't tell any other pupils (well at least normal ones) because QWERTY does this so discreetly no-one notices, so they wouldn't believe me. If I or they asked QWERTY if they were saying things about me, I bet he would deny it.

It'd be great to know your views and suggestions on this as I cannot stop worrying about it. I'll keep you updated on what I hear.


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Scoots5012
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23 Feb 2006, 1:23 pm

My junior year of high school, it was spread that I was gay becasue of my facial expressions when I was around other guys.


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ramsamsam
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24 Feb 2006, 9:17 am

Oh generally people are inclined to spread untruths if they don't like some one. When people have annoyed me I've done it (though not in a social terminal way where everyone would tell them etc).
However I've also experienced this sort of bullying quite badly as I've heard all sorts of rumours.
I just tried to ignore it.



fractalinfinity
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24 Feb 2006, 5:47 pm

Yes, many times. I think it has to do with you sounding pompous, but not really meaning to be. I had an enormously huge problem with that that caused me to be alienated for years by my peers. But this one thing worked for me to get me out of the slump: if you make fun of yourself, you take away all their power. I have not been teased in years because when others made fun of me, I simply laughed and maybe added something. Trust me, it pisses them off and totally ends their fun. At least it worked with me...



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24 Feb 2006, 9:14 pm

It seems Qwerty is getting a big kick (i.e., this is rewarding for him) to get a reaction out of you. My best advice is to completely ignore him as though he isn't even there. If he says something, don't flinch, don't even look at him. Just continue on with whatever you're doing. He'll lose interest in bullying you sooner or later because his main purpose in doing this is to get you to react. This is his reward and you're rewarding him by reacting.

This is called Behavior Modification and think of it as though you're altering his behavior. A little experiment. Depending on how long this has been going on, it might take awhile for him to stop. But it's more than probable that eventually he will stop and will go on to bully someone else who does react.

This is probably your most reliable option. Completely ignore him.


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deep-techno
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25 Feb 2006, 4:06 am

The only problem is that he gets other people to make fun of me and he doen't do it to me directly.
He knows that I am a sensitive person and that I am autistic so he decides to get people to get a reaction out of me in order to succeed. He doesn't know anyone else who gives the same reactions as I do and I bet he will carry on saying negative things about me to other people. Once I heard one of his friends say 'Ollie Syndrome' meaning he has been spreading things about me.

But anyway I suppose I can try to ignore it, and laugh at myself when someone says something to me. Instead of "Can you spell Whimsical?" "Shut up!" it should have been "Can you spell whimsical?" "(kind of in a 'joking' way) Well, I guess I forgot the H. [laughs]"

Something like that might stop me worrying too much about the situation. Thanks for your helpful advice. ;)


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26 Feb 2006, 12:41 pm

deep-techno wrote:
The only problem is that he gets other people to make fun of me and he doen't do it to me directly.
He knows that I am a sensitive person and that I am autistic so he decides to get people to get a reaction out of me in order to succeed. He doesn't know anyone else who gives the same reactions as I do and I bet he will carry on saying negative things about me to other people. Once I heard one of his friends say 'Ollie Syndrome' meaning he has been spreading things about me.

But anyway I suppose I can try to ignore it, and laugh at myself when someone says something to me. Instead of "Can you spell Whimsical?" "Shut up!" it should have been "Can you spell whimsical?" "(kind of in a 'joking' way) Well, I guess I forgot the H. [laughs]"

Something like that might stop me worrying too much about the situation. Thanks for your helpful advice. ;)


I'd recommend completely ignoring anyone who's trying to get a rise out of you. Don't even try to turn it into a joke because, knowing the sneekiness of some people, they might be able to turn it back around to ridicule you again. I've had times like this when I thought I'd said or written something foolproof where no one could possibly turn it back around at me. But it's inevitable that someone does.

Just totally ignore anyone who teases/bullies you. They don't exist. Don't flinch, don't speak, don't pause, nothing. Just continue on with exactly what you were doing. Either your school work or if you're walking past them, just keep walking as if no one has said anything. Maybe somebody at your home can help you practice this.

It'll probably take a lot of patience on your part to keep yourself from reacting because it's very natural to react to such things. But the more you react, the more it's gonna keep happening. If you need to, find something to distract yourself if you're overhearing them talking about you. Count, think about any one of your obsessions, recite something, anything.

It'll hopefully get easier as time goes on because you'll get better at ignoring them and they'll begin to lose interest.

Nice avatar, btw. ;)


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deep-techno
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26 Feb 2006, 12:56 pm

Thanks for that advice.

I see you like Mr Bean as well! :)


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27 Feb 2006, 3:12 pm

deep-techno wrote:
Thanks for that advice.

I see you like Mr Bean as well! :)


Yep. Have some of the series on DVD. Although, unfortunately in the US, they didn't release the full episodes on DVD. The episodes have been shaved a bit. Full versions on VHS though, but it's hard to find 'em anymore.

I'm a bit of a Britcoms fan, yep. And just Rowan Atkinson in general. :)


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