Classmate Frustration

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I am exceptionally frustrated with most of my classmates (and school in general) right now and am hoping that someone here might be able to give me a little advice.

I am currently taking classes to be a Speech-Language Pathologist because I am some sort of masochist and want to spend the rest of my life confronted with my own problems. Actually, that just happens to be a result of studying this, not my reason for doing it. I really want to help open up the world of communication to people who do not have it. I know how it feels to not know what is going on, but I have been blessed with words and I want other people to have that (or something like it), too. One day I want to be a professor.

But dealing with myself is only part of the problem. I am very frustrated and angry at my classmates. They do not care to learn, they do not care to think, they just want to be spoon-fed pre-chewed information so they can regurgitate it on the tests. They do not speak up in class unless...

They are saying mean things to/about one of our professors. They whisper all through his classes. I can't hear their words, mostly because I am trying really hard to pay attention, but I know it's mean. They laugh at him when he leaves the room. They ask him questions that even I know are not questions to get information, they are questions to mock him. It is awful. It is particularly awful because he is... one of us.

Today I finally broke. I told one of my classes that I was tired of being the only person who said anything in class. I told them I was done with being the only one who answered questions. I didn't know what to say about them insulting our professor, because I was too angry for those words to come out. They probably would have been mostly adjectives and "four-letter words". They stared at me and then laughed. Of course, I did end up answering all the questions after I said I wouldn't because I really am uncapable of leaving a question unanswered. Plus, the class is interesting and I can see how it applies to my life and not just future clients.

After class (which got out early, praise the Lord), I hid in an empty hallway and cried. It was angry crying. Then I went to another professor and lodged a complaint against my classmates.

I really don't know what else to do. I want to talk to my classmates and tell them that it's not only rude to disrespect our professor, but that I take it really personally when they do it. But they don't like me anyway. I want to tell them that they should get out of a helping profession if they are going to be mean to people who are trying to teach them, let alone having to deal with people with special needs for their entire careers. But I don't know how. It's like my mouth shuts off and I lose all my words when I am around them.

I talked about this with a friend after class and he told me to give them a break. He told me that I run on a different operating system than most people. I don't know whose side he was taking, but in a way that doesn't matter. What matters is that if this continues, I am going to drop out of school because I can't handle being around these people. But I don't want to. What I am studying is really hard, and it's not something that I find natural, but I love it. I just don't know how to handle these people. The complaint has been lodged (to the head of the department, who is frankly not much better than my classmates), but what else can I do?

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

You're doing the right thing by telling another professor within the same department about this. Hopefully, they get the Dean of Students involved with this. Such a shame that people are in college and they don't care about getting their education. I thought when you got to college, that would stop. Apparently not.

I've returned to school full-time to start a new career and I am just appalled by the lack of courtesy and total unwillingness to learn anything that most students posses. The only consolation is that their stupidity will make it easier for me to get a job. Then again the people doing the hiring may be just as stupid and only care about those that look good and have "social skills".

Thanks, guys.

Well, my complaint was lodged with the head of the department. It appears that she now wants to speak to me directly, to get "another opinion", or something like that. I am rather terrified of this woman-- she likes to berate me in front of the class and send me what I have been told are passive-aggressive emails, but also tells me that she likes it when I speak up and she tries to pat me on the shoulder. Well, she tried that once. After I shot about three feet into the air, she hasn't tried touching me since. So I don't know what she thinks of me, which is a little scary, even though I'm used to that! I'm concerned because I don't know what her intentions are. She is very close to the students that I lodged the complaint against. They are her little clique or something. It's like junior high drama.

I want to stand up for my professor (it's the least I can do for what he's done for me, and he deserves all the good words anyone can say) and I want to stand up for myself in the process. It's not like these people ever go away. But I am afraid that by talking to the head of the department I am going to be confronting the leader of the mean-people pack. And I do not have the words (out loud) to explain what's going on. I have them all up in my head and some of them get onto paper, but I can't get the words out when I speak. The last thing I want is to be the "other opinion" that throws up in her office out of anxiety and doesn't say another word.

Would writing a letter be a bad thing? I thought about writing one and then trying to read it to her. There's no way I can go in there with nothing written down and sound like anything but an idiot. Any other ideas? I'm going to do this. It's just a matter of how.

If that was me, I'd be chewing her out for this atrocity for even happening. There is simply no excuse for what you described taking place.

I appreciate the support and I completely agree. This is B.S., to put it as nicely as I can. I want to storm into her office and start screaming. But I can't. I don't mean that I think it would be a bad idea-- I actually can't. I can't walk by her office without feeling sick to my stomach. My words turn off when I try to articulate this to other people and I end up sounding like an idiot. I hate that it happens, but it does. If I caught her in Wal-Mart or on the street, I might be able to make some sense (even though I'd be throwing things, too), but in her office-- that's her territory and I will readily admit that I am terrified of it.

Well, I went in to speak to her and it could not have gone worse if I had planned it that way. She insulted my character, called me names and told me that I have no place in the program being the person I am. There is more, but I cannot articulate it now.

Sometimes, it is OK to take a stand for what you believe in. The treatment your professor got was unacceptable, and you need to take it a step further and talk to the president of the college. That will get her attention, because if she doesn't do what he or she says, then they will be out of a job.

The president of the University is my next stop, followed by ASHA (the group that regulates the behavior of SLPs). I'm not afraid anymore. I was berated and had my every opinion torn apart. I had my character degraded and was told that I cannot do what I want to do. But I told the truth with tears in my eyes and did not sink to her level. I was hurt (I AM hurt), but I won the fight. Now it's time to win the war. The war against intolerance and cruelty. A war we all have to fight every day. I'm going to win it, even if I lose. Even if I have no case. Even if I am laughed at and degraded even more. The reason I will win is that I will not give up. This started out as a small issue and now it's all-out war. And I'll be darned if I go down without more fights!