I'm sorry for English failings.
Two months and ten days ago I changed schools.
I got my Asperger's diagnosis two weeks after I started the new school.
My ancient school was terrible. The teachers were very unsympathetic, and they thought I was just a shy girl.
They forced me to socialise with my classmates, but I refused.
One of my teachers told me that: "If you don't socialise with the others, you will be bullied. And that's just unnecessary if we teachers must try to stop the bullying, while you can avoid it simply by spending time with them."
I was anxious and really scared.
I spent the break sitting on a bench. I stared out into nowhere, never talked, showed no interest in the other (they were invisible to me) and ate almost nothing for lunch.
The teachers forced me to participate in group works, games, overnights, dinners, accountings and so on.
I never felt happy, never. My head was all the time packed with anxiety thoughts.
I ate almost nothing at home either - I lost my appetite because of all the job that I was exposed to in school.
For each development discussions, I had to listen at long monologues about how to be in school.
They said: "You need to talk more, find a friend, eat much more than you do now and be able to preform more in group works." It was impossible demands on me. I just couldn't transform how I was as person.
They asked: "What's your interest?" I told them that I liked taking photographs. "Okey. Linnea in your class also like photography. Socialise with her, you surely have a lot to talk about!"
I said: "Maybe." but my teacher said: "It's bad of you if you don't socialise with her, now that I've found someone who even has the same interest as you!" I felt threatened.
When I chose to shake my head, nod or shrug - my teacher made fun of me, mimicking me with a grimace.
The last weeks I was home for several days. I felt a huge pressure on myself, I couldn't go to school. I was so scared.
My mum and dad were really mad at me, I had to go to school.
My parents were talking about me in the evenings. They said that perhaps the best thing to me was to change schools.
I visited another school. The rector and a special education met me in a room there. They knew that I might had Asperger's.
They asked me questions. They knew that I liked to be alone in the break, and that I didn't talk so much.
But they were not mad at me. They didn't say: "If you start in this school, you have to be like everyone else." or something like that. They told me that they would do everything to make me happy.
They said that I could write in stead of talking if I felt like that.
I felt kind of safe when I was talking to those two nice people.
5th November 2009 I started my new school. I was truly scared, especially of the other kids.
My new classmates didn't know that I had Asperger's. They tried to become my friend, but they couldn't get me to talk more than a few words. They even asked their teacher how they ought to do to become my friend.
In the beginning I tried to socialise. But it was so tough, I just couldn't do it. I kept myself away from the other kids.
13th November 2009 I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome.
The teachers didn't said that I got to socialise. They were so friendly to me.
But I stayed home for a whole week. Week 49. I thought it was so hard with all those group works and alterations.
My teachers rang and asked wich day I was going back to school. I didn't know.
Then my parents told me to write a list with things I thought was difficult. And I did.
I wrote that it was dire to be forced to preform in things I wasn't able to do. Like group works, dancing, excursions and more. My parents took it really seriously and called one of my teachers and told what I'd written.
Then my parents, all my teachers, my investigators, the school's rector and a special education had a meeting about me.
They concluded that I would avoid group works and everything else I thought was tough.
My investigators told the teachers that they had to be clear when talking to me, otherwise I wouldn't understand what they were saying. And that it would be as few surprises as possible to me.
I went back to school and everything was better than before. When it was time for group works, I didn't had to take part of it.
I get all the help I need in school. The teachers do not talk to me as someone who is worse than the other.
I feel like a human being again.
In the breaks my teachers like to talk to me. I can't have any eyecontact (but I am training) and I interpret everything literally, so they have to be careful about what they're saying. I'm very withdrawn as well.
My teacher wanted to e-mailing to me - she said that she wanted to get to know me. It was OK to me.
I am also sending e-mails to me Swedish teacher.
I really enjoy school now! The teachers, and even my classmates, are so nice to me. They seem to understand me, at least more than they did in my past school.
_________________
Best regards,
Withdrawn.
Last edited by Withdrawn on 18 Jan 2010, 1:39 am, edited 6 times in total.
16 Jan 2010, 6:46 am
Honestly sounds just like when I went to school & transferred. Congrats on your good luck when you changed schools! 
