Language

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I have a problem. I currently live in a country which has a language I absolutely despise. I feel a deep anger when I hear it inside my mind and disgust when I read it. No one appears to understand this, because it is supposed to be my native language. But I've spent most of my life in the colonies where I attended an American school...and it just isn't. English is my native language, and it is the language I am comfortable with. English is the only language in which I can write creatively, or do science. The words the other language uses I find barbaric, and I can't bear to think of them for calculations.

Now I go to a bilingual school which has most of the scientific subjects in English. While the quality of English isn't great, it's been something. However, because of lack of funding the next three years can't be done in English, which is something I fear greatly. The quality of the textbooks is pretty low, but I truly can't see myself doing it in the other language for three years. There have been many times where I've sat over my homework with tears in my eyes, for it was essentially an invasion of my home, which is something of a sanctuary when it comes to English.

Culturally, I am not attached at all to this country either. I'm in a hostile, foreign environment, and I don't know anyone that can relate. Can anyone offer advice?

(Incidentally, yes, I do realize I sound incredibly whiny)

Colonies? We haven't referred to the United States as colonies since 1776.

Anyway, what are you doing living in a country where you don't even know the language anyway? If you're that miserable, can't you just go back to the country you were in previously?

I'm hinting a bit prejudice here on your part. Why don't you go back to an English speaking country, preferably the country you were born in?

I didn't mean the United States, I meant the Netherlands Antilles, colonies of the Netherlands. I was born in the Netherlands but I've spent the majority of my life away. I do speak Dutch quite normally, it's just that I really don't want to. And no, I can't go back, as I am underage.

You probably should have clarified that in the beginning.

If you have no choice but to stay there, then all I can say is to suck it up. Make the most out of it. If you already know the language than it shouldn't be a problem for you.