Approaching another apsie

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Awhile back there were a few threads on here about other aspies in classes you have. To add on to things, but to make a totally new thread out of this, I have some news to report.

In my science pit class with 200 people there is one person I've been watching closely the whole semester. He caught my attention becasue when I first saw him walk into class, my first impression was that he was forgein exchange student, that based upon his looks and mannerisims, but when the teacher voulenteered him to give an answer in class one day, he had a very natural sounding midwestern or "flat" accent. This gave away the idea that he was not from the other side of the world. But his then his mannerisims caught me as being odd. When gets into class, he stands the whole time surverying everyone as they walk into class with this, shall I say "goofy" looking grin on his face. He dosen't sit down until moments before the lecture begins. It's almost as if he's being taken up completely by the people walking into class. I should also mention that his walk is very robotic like in nature.

Anyway, I was strongly suspecting that he was an aspie, but I figured it was best to wait until I witnessed something more substantial that would cue me in.

This morning as I eyed him, he took his seat earlier than expected, and began rocking back and forth while he clenched his hands together. This is all the proof I need to be convinced that he is most likely an apsie.

During the class period, I began to feel kind of bad about things. Here's someone in a class of mine, who's most likely an aspie like I am, and he dosen't even know that there is someone else in the class who also an apsie.

I feel for what ever it's worth, I have to try and approach this guy and try to get a conversation going.

Good idea. There's no harm in trying to be friendly. Also, if he is an Aspie it is most likely that he doesn't have many friends, so that would be a nice thing to do. But...



I have to warn you, though. Don't just ask him if he has AS, or even mention it right away. He might not even know what AS is, and then you could really freak him out. The best way to go about it would be to tell him that you have it, and you probably shouldn't even do that until you get to know him.

I tend to have odd mannerisms, i can speak in a british irish scotch, or indian (like india) accent. When i began 8th grade after moving out of my dads place and into moms 200 miles away, i told everyone i had just moved from cancun, that did not last long, i had no tan and i spoke no spanish, it was obvious that i had just moved from massachusetts.

I don't know how you'll go, I would think the lack of reciprocity might mean lots of mutual silences and mutual failures to ask questions, so the conversation tends to die, but it's worth trying to make some contact, you may be able to work on projects together. Maybe just sitting nearby him (most of us like a vacant seat, the buffer zone, next to us) might be a good start.

I wasn't planning on doing that, he probably knows about it, but I can't say for sure, if I want him to feel more comfortable about me, then I have to try and cue him in somehow with out being obvious that I have it too.

at least thats what I'm thinking.



I'm kind of expecting that, however even if we just exchange just one sentence between ourselves it would serve as an ice breaker.

Hmmm. I disagree about the quality of conversation. Those that I've had with other aspies have been pretty rocking...we can let loose with our free assocition thoughts. Even when I was with people who were more classically autistic and not very verbal, there was an understanding, words weren't very necessary.

There's a boy who was in some of my classes who I am pretty sure is either aspie or HFA. He ended up being in my senior show group, and he was very easy to get along with, though in class I never knew how to approach him, and he seemed to be off by himself all the time. It turned out he was actually better at starting conversations than me .

I don't know if that's really necessary. I mean, if you two have this in common, I think you should be able to relate to eachother without necessarily bringing up AS specifically.

In the case with me and the guy that I mentioned, I never said anything about it, especially since I'm not sure I have AS or not, but I know he noticed I don't get sarcasm at all (it came up a lot in our meetings, eheheh, I took things a bit too seriously), and he also brought up a few things like having trouble understanding what people are saying, that I agreed I also had trouble with. I also occasionally rock, especially when stressed (which I certaintly was before the show).

At first, it might be easier just to try to find some common interest you both have, even just the class itself.



About this- it seems that a lot of people who do not have any type of disorder rock. I don't really understand this, since it is often considered part of the diagnostic criteria of autism, Asperger's, and schizophrenia, but I have noticed several people who I am fairly certain are NT tend to rock on occasion. I also posted a poll on another site to see if others did, and it seems that quite a few NTs do have this habit.

Of course, combined with the other odd behavior you have mentioned, it may be an indication of AS. I just wanted to point that all out.

I have also noticed how NT's tend to rock also, but they seem to do it more to aleveate boredom and to help relax than out of anxiety which is what we on the spectrum tend to do.

My science class pit 5 minutes before class starts with 200 people milling about and talking is by no means either boring or relaxing.

How is helping themselves relax different from responding to anxiety?



Ugh, that doesn't sound fun. My largest class is about 22 to 30 people.

Well.... For example, an NT comes home from work after having busted butt all day long and sits down in the recliner to enjoy the fact that there's 16 hours untill the he has to goto work again. There's no anxiety, only joy of having completed another work day.

That's kind of what I'm getting at here.

Ah, ok. I think I understand now.

Sorry if I came off sort of negative, I didn't mean to. I think you should try to talk to this guy. Let us know how it works out .

Nipped in the bud!

I was in class this morning sitting two seats to the left of where he normally sits and waited for his entrance.

- At 10:15 he entered the cramped pit class from the basement entrance

- He then made his way over to the side of the room where I was sitting

- He began the climb to the third row where I was sitting

- He got one step away from the seat he normally sits

- And at that moment a rude NT coming down the steps from the top darted in front of him and took the seat he was eyeing.

I was mad! I felt like screaming at this guy for being so rude and for spoiling my plan. But I refrained from doing so. He wound up sitting near one row down from me. I would of had to lean over to even try and talk to him.

Now I have to wait until friday to try again.

I was able this morning to make contact with this person whom I suspect was aspie.

He came in and took the same seat he did on wedesnday which was one row below me. Undaunted I gathered up the nerve to speak.

"So, looking forward to learning about earthquakes today?"

He seemed kind of suprised by my attempt to initate conversation.

"Yes..."

And then moments later he followed up

"Are you ready for the test on Monday?"

to which I replied

"Yea, this is all easy stuff for me, I'm a science nut."

My mind raced as I tried to create a follow up for him to answer since he didn't reply.

"It's kind of odd if you think about it, since I'm a RTF major and I like science" What's you major?"

"I'm going a computer science degree."

My mind raced again as I tried to navigate the wonders of small talk

"What area of computer science are you focusing on?"

"Information Systems"

"So you going to be a network guy"

"Yep"

"That's a good field to get into"

He nodded and then turned around and took his seat, effectively ending the conversation.

But for the first time out, I think I didn't do too bad.

Good work there Scoots, nice ice-breaker chat.