WHAAAAAAAAA.....??! !?

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*tries to calm down* OK, if anyone read my last topic (http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt123680.html) regarding my learning support/assisted learning department withholding my benefits, and a chaplain ignoring me on the grounds that "I am autistic, therefore I am a freak who is not worth his time", uh, my situation has got worse.

There was also the problem of a hell of a lot of noise at night. They gave us a number to phone if there is any noise after 11pm, but the nice bastards terminated the service. This gives the result that, as there are no complaints (because no one can get through to them), anything I say on the matter to anyone is therefore untrue, because "no one else has complained".

But oh crap. I need some serious help here, because the following happened.

I decided to contact the assisted learning department, asking what on Earth is going on etc. Basically I registered my three main complaints (withholding of support, chaplain's discrimination against me, noise at night). Now they know I'm not entirely happy here, so I also added that leaving the University is, at the present moment, quite desirable (I wasn't seriously contemplating leaving). Next thing I know, this happened (in email form, and this is just the gist of it, really. And, uh, far less formal).

Here, 'Alex' is the assisted learning person, 'Betty' is a sort of 'mentor' for my academic department, who I have been in contact with before (out of recommendation).

Alex: (who has not been taking my emails seriously up until this point) Oh, you want to leave? OK, I'll help you to leave.
Me: Uh, wait, what?
Alex: OK, this is what needs to be done in order for you to leave. I've also contacted Betty, because I thought she might like to speak with you and say goodbye. Bye!
Me: Hold on a minute, I wasn't really...
Alex: ........................

Betty: Hey there, I heard you were leaving. Is this true?
Me: Well, I...
Betty: That's nice. Just wanted to drop an email saying 'bye'. Goodbye!
Me: Hey, wait...
Betty: ..........................


So, I'm effectually being kicked out of the University!! Wtf?? Just because I dared to register a complaint (....or three)?? What the hell am I supposed to do now?? My parents don't even know...

The thing is, none of the staff, except a few of my tutors, at my University have actually taken me seriously or even given the hint that I am worth their time. I wouldn't mind leaving, if I must be honest, due to their complete indifference of anything to do with me [to give you an idea, when the issue was raised, by another person, that I wasn't eating properly, they seemed to handle this issue in the following way: "......... Meh. "], but this is actually a shock, as I wasn't being serious (for a start, my parents would kill me if I left Uni). Something tells me that they, at the University, actually WANT me to leave, and have been waiting for the day that I step outside the University gates, never to return.........

So, erm...

HELP!! !

WOW. That is ridiculous! Can they do that? If you're in the US, you have rights! When I am home, maybe I can get my fiancee to help formulate a better answer, since he really loves law. I feel this thing... I am sad for you!! Maybe you should start by writing everything out then edit to make it sound fluid/logical. Then, read what you wrote. It sounds like a whole bunch of bs. Do you know why they got rid of the service? Are you sure it's directed towards you?

Let's see... your complaint might have had repercussions. That has happened to me before, luckily the class reviews are anonymous *phew.* But man, what a death glare from that professor.

I'm gobsmacked, I don't understand how this happened.

Have you got a student union in your university? If you do, they could help. Also, informing your parents would be a good idea, as soon as you can. Ask your parents for advice, if you think that they'll have an idea of how to help you.

I'm not disputing with you that the college counseller etc. acted unfairly to you, or that you don't have the right to be angry at the chaplain and noise, but in fairness, it was a bit foolish of you to try and play chicken with them. How on earth are they supposed to know you were only bluffing (and why should they care for that matter?).

I'm sure they were only too happy to see you want to leave college; it makes their jobs a lot easier, and now if anyone calls them up on it, they can just turn around and say 'well, it was her decision actually'.

If they were reasonable people, I would say that if you want another chance, don't act angry. Calm down and maybe get someone else to help you write an apology and see if you can start afresh on better terms.

In this case though, an apology and appeal to reason may not cut much ice. I don't know exactly what you've done to piss them off so much, but they are being really hostile towards you. Or perhaps, they are calling your bluff back until you apologise.

As far as I know, if you've registered at the start of the year for exams, then they can't just wipe you off without written consent. The policy may differ outside the UK though, and I suppose if your tutor is the one marking the exam, then she may be able to manipulate things further.

I suggest in your case that you apologise first if you lost your temper at any point, but if that doesn't work, you may have to go above your tutor and contact the dean or university head. Definitely get someone to help you draft the letter though- you need to come across as calm and sensible, and sometimes it helps when an impartial person reads over things before you send it in. Actually, tell your parents; you say they want you to stay in college, so I'm sure they'll give you a hand.

If worst comes to worst (and I mean worst), contact your local papers. Leave that as a last resort though, because it could bite you in the ass (there's a saying that newspapers will try to get two stories out of one; the first on your side, the second against you).

One more thing. I don't know how large your university is, but most are pretty big and have limited funds and time for each student. I think you may need to review whether you are asking too much or complaining too often, and how you are going about it. I don't know if you are or not, but it is something to be aware of.

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Just reading through your previous thread, I think you were being a bit unfair to to the uni. People cannot always reply to emails, or may be preoccupied and forget. 3 emails isn't a huge number to send, so you maybe jumped to conclusions a bit too quickly and acted rashly.

With regards to 'playing the autistic card' as you put it, I think this is an ugly attitude to take when trying to get your own way. I strongly suggest you be a little more patient and act a little less entitled in future. You talk about having 'three people employed to listen to you'. Sorry, but that's not their job. Their job is to listen to every disabled student in the university and if you are taking up more than your fair share of time, then they will start gradually ignoring you. If you want additional counselling, perhaps you should seek it outside of college?

I know, I know... I was waiting for someone to say that Yes it was rather stupid of me to say it, but whenever I ask them about where my support (benefits) has gone, or say anything, either they refuse to talk about it, or their response is, and I quote:

When I see that, I always know they haven't read what I wrote. And before you ask, these 'appointments' always go terribly, so I prefer contact via email. I have spent three months demanding to know where my benefits are (part of my benefits go directly to them as payment. So, they are being paid "by me" for nothing), and no result. I had a slight hope that if I made a little 'threat', they might pay attention. Well, they sure did that, eh?

The fact is, they never bothered to help. They never wanted to help. The fact they're so keen to let me leave without one little "Oh, don't go just yet, maybe we can help you with..." makes me think that they're unwilling to make University life easy, or better.

I think I know what it is that pissed them off. They found out about something stupid I did a long time ago, uh... let's just say I ended up in hospital, I'll say no more. Ever since then they've been hounding me about the incident but I refuse to talk about anything like that. After that, the appointments with them eventually stopped and they've been acting 'hostile' towards me (because of what I did or my refusal to talk about it? I don't know.). All the help was suddenly... well, terminated.

Hmm, I'm reluctant to apologise - I am such a disagreeable little sod!! - but I will do it if I need to do so. What is it, exactly, that I am to apologise for? And if I'm supposed to be leaving, well... would they even bother reading it?

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'Playing the autistic card' -- well, I wasn't exploiting my disability, as such, actually. He demanded me to do something (don't remember what, exactly), but I had to explain that it would be difficult for me to do it, and used it as an excuse. Yes, I know he's busy, yes yes yes, the thought had not escaped me, but I sent the same email more than once, and got nothing. But before then, he literally answered all my emails rather promptly.

By the way, if you're worried that I'm going to 'play the autistic card' in that way, think again. I'm not like that at all. Another aspie boasted to me how he got an extra month or so on his coursework by using Asperger's as an excuse. (He still got it in late.) I found that absolutely appalling; if it was a legitimate excuse, fine, but he just wanted the extra time because he could have it. Before University I never, ever got any help whatsoever; in fact in school I was literally 'put in the corner' and so I had to teach myself everything (I also have a reading problem as well, so you can imagine how bloody hard that was!!), so I know how to survive without 'the autistic card'.

'three people employed to listen to you' -- sorry, I don't mean it that way (did I write that? Ah.). I mean, "Three people employed to listen to people and yet they don't listen to me" And if you must know, I have not been taking up their time, in fact I do my best to do the opposite, because, quite frankly, I'd rather not be in contact with them that often!! I used to be scheduled to see the disability advisors once a week, but this suddenly stopped after they found out about... well, you know. ^^ So really, I haven't been 'bothering' them at all.

Also, additional councilling was apparently one of the things that my benefits are supposed to fund (my reaction when I found out -- ), so...

If you are in the US, I have some tips.

1. Speak to the dean of students and the dean of faculty.

2. Read your "student bill of rights" or any similar titled document the school puts out that spells out your rights as a student at their university. The simple rule is that your rights are not seen as violated unless you act to enforce them and are denied.

3. Sounds like you are at a school that simply doesn't give a damn about you. That's true for most schools. If you have AS, it's possible you come across as pushy and demanding (that's how others saw me in school), and they are reacting based on that perception.

What the hell did you think would happen when you contacted them telling them you wanted to leave?

Accusing chaplains of discrimination just because they don't answer your EMAILS is silly enough.
Of course they're not going to beg someone like that to stay.