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Peko
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22 May 2010, 4:25 pm

Warning, this may be an example of teenage drama but oh well. First off, my sister and I have a friend who just started (supposedly) going out with a guy. The only thing this guy ever said to me was asking me & everyone else to shake his hand while referencing that its the hand he wacks off with... :eew:. This was when I was still in high school. This kid & my sister are high school sophomores & I'm a college sophomore. Anyway, I recently started and online joke with my friends claiming the single ones are dating cartoon characters, etc. I'm trying to decide if its okay to ask this friend if she's dating the creep (I'll explain why I call him that) or if she's just if on the joke. The problem is I may see her at some point & my sister just told me the guy raped one of her gay guy friends 2 yrs. ago... I've been around 2 male rape victims (not this guy my sister knows) & am friends w/ a bipolar girl who was molested & my stepmom was raped as well. I don't want to see this girl being hurt but my sister & I think we should stay out of it but this girl is also bipolar. (I think I'm a magnet for rape victims, bipolar people & general oddballs) My sister & I don't feel its our place (especially mine b/c I don't know the guy who was raped in this case) to say anything but I'm not sure if one of us should anyway? I posted in this section b/c these are people my sister deals with in high school constantly. In general, I don't know why people tell me when they themselves have been raped or they personally know rape victims :?. I try to be supportive but don't really know any way to help... :(


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CockneyRebel
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22 May 2010, 6:00 pm

That's just plain sick. No offense, but I'm glad that I'm not like him, and I don't even know him.


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Lene
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22 May 2010, 8:19 pm

Whilst you should be as supportive as you can to your friends, be aware that in school, not everything you hear is gospel truth.

I'm not for a second saying you should call your friends liars; that would be horrible if it really had happened, but I do think you should be aware that this may just be a vicious rumour spread about the 'creepy' guy by people who simply don't like him.

If a friend of yours tells you they have been raped, then you should listen to and support them and urge them to contact the police and a counselor, and to confide in their families. I don't think you should take it upon yourself to warn others though, unless you genuinely fear they may be in direct harm from this guy. False accusations of rape, whilst not nearly as bad as being raped, can be devastating nonetheless, so it is important to get the facts.

If you think your friend may be in danger though, you should probably tell her. Just be aware that she may not believe you, or he may deny it.



Peko
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24 May 2010, 5:19 pm

Lene wrote:
Whilst you should be as supportive as you can to your friends, be aware that in school, not everything you hear is gospel truth.

If you think your friend may be in danger though, you should probably tell her. Just be aware that she may not believe you, or he may deny it.


I know everything you hear isn't true & was told this by my sister at home. (She was told this by the supposed rape victim (her friend) & told me when I said our friend was dating the accused rapist). I went with telling a friend who talks with this girl much more than I do & she said it was "just a rumor" so we warned her w/o offending her. I normally don't like using middlemen but the girl I confided in was abused herself & knows how to transfer this kind of info much more so than I do. (I didn't want to create a problem just give this friend a heads up)


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All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to.


Lene
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25 May 2010, 9:26 am

Quote:
I went with telling a friend who talks with this girl much more than I do & she said it was "just a rumor" so we warned her w/o offending her. I normally don't like using middlemen but the girl I confided in was abused herself & knows how to transfer this kind of info much more so than I do. (I didn't want to create a problem just give this friend a heads up)


I think you handled this as well as you could



Peko
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25 May 2010, 6:20 pm

Lene wrote:

I think you handled this as well as you could


Thanks, the main problem was the girl who is dating the guy who was accused of rape is also bipolar & I'd rather not see her end up in the hospital again... she has in the past :(.


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Balance is needed within the universe, can be demonstrated in most/all concepts/things. Black/White, Good/Evil, etc.
All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to.