In class, is everyone against you?

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deep-techno
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17 Aug 2006, 10:01 am

I have been thinking about incidents with other people in my class who have bullied me, and nobody has really stuck up for me that much. Right now, even though 2 new kids are moving into my class, I'd say that all of the pupils in my class would be biased against my diplomatic points of view and logical analysis of situations, or not care about it.

Often, I've said comebacks to people's insults, and the whole class says "Oooooh" (even for a potentially uninsulting comment). However, people have insulted me but the whole class doesn't go "Oooooh" like they did when I say something. Completely unfair.

And, in a situation such as this...

On June 15th, in an older topic called 'B1TCH!', I wrote:
At school in lesson 5 an English teacher quickly came into the room when a girl in the class was calling out and I quietly said to the teacher "She's always trying to be the class clown". Later it has been rumoured that I called her a clown (I didn't say she WAS a clown, I said that she was trying to be one). Then she was arguing about it to me and the teacher. There was one crucial thing - if I DID call her a clown - then why didn't I get sent out? (She was making a big deal about it on purpose - my learning support teacher helped me realise that she was trying to make people think I'm the culprit) She went on about it until the end of the lesson. She intentionally took the comment as racial discrimination - that's not what I was meant to be implying. After the end of the lesson, I went into my next class, where this girl argued with me again.

She was, again, making a big deal about it in front of my classmates. She would literally argue that black is white. She would try to make me look like an idiot by saying things that were false. I tried telling her to go away but she eventaully ended with "Right, I'm getting my mum involved". This left me in tears as it made me feel threatened. I then had to miss the next lesson as I went to write about what happened. I showed this to a learning support teacher who teaches me for Social Skills. She helped me realise that she was trying to make other people dislike me.

So here's what upset me:
:arrow: She made a big deal over what seemed like nothing. It wan't even a mildly discriminative comment!
:arrow: She was threatening me.
:arrow: It has had my whole class turn their backs on me and ignore me, when actually my view is correct! Nobody had the decency to stick up for me.


...even the smartest people in my class fell for this, and didn't agree with me.

People decide to go with their non-diplomatic views on situations, and yet there's nobody giving me any support and/or encouragement. I am the only one in my year with AS, the rest are NT.

I often feel as if my class are my enemies, and there's nobody who actually agrees with me besides the teachers.

What then happened afterwards when I was with my social skills teacher was that I was upset, and one of my friends (who also has AS) was there coincidentally for his lesson so it helped me feel better. I typed up the story and gave it to her, and she helped me figure out why this idiotic girl lashed out at me. If it wasn't for that, I would not have figured it out. She did a story board andcame up with various views. But at the end she said "What do you want to be done about it?" I didn't really know what to say.

I need some encouragement that I am not the only one stuck in this grudge against my class.


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alex
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17 Aug 2006, 10:19 am

Do you talk a lot? I used to talk too much in class so everyone god annoyed by me.


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deep-techno
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17 Aug 2006, 10:32 am

I only talk when I need to, I'm not particularly chatty or disruptive.


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Emoal6
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17 Aug 2006, 1:45 pm

Unfortunatly, I know your situation FAR TOO WELL. Even if you think you don't talk too much, for some reason the world takes the times we do talk as excessive.(most aspies, when they do talk, speak at length on a subject or detail that the rest of people find insignificant or worthless). Many people are intimidated by a sense of morality, maturity, logic, and knowledge, especially in the earlier years and teens. It doesn't really get any better once you're out of school either. I mean, don't get me wrong, you find your world that understands you, your group. you find what areas of obsession you have that match others and begin learning conversation better.(Not saying you haven't already)

As the saying goes, "people fear what they do not understand, and what they don't understand they try to destroy". You are different from most, if not all the people in your class, whether or not you have similar intrests with any of them. Everyone in the world has different perspectives, but that gap is usually a little bigger between ASD individuals and NT's. You could fight for respect(not neccessarily literally) or you can live and let live. If religion is correct, especially christianity/catholicism, then all humankind were born with free will and that leads to conflicts of intrest and chaotic events.

I wish there were a better answer but I'm afraid I don't have one. My only question to you would be, do other's know you are on the autistic spectrum or is it only; yourself, family, friends, professionals(as in psychologists, not neccessarily school officials)? Im not saying that if they don't know and you told them that things would be different. More often than not, people would just find a way to use that as an insult against you and cause more suffering. There is a chance tho that if people understood you better, you might lessen the degree of criticism, bullying and mistreatment.

Take this the right way, but at least you know now instead of having to figure it out later on in life, after school. Some of us(including myself) have only recently found out and never had a reason for thier misunderstandings. We were labled problem children and treated accordingly, even if it wasn't our fault. Remember, knowledge is power. Use your knowledge of your condition and what you know you do that might irritate/aggravate "the masses", and try to minimize it. Im not saying to change who you are, everyone has the right to be their own person. Im only trying to give you advice that might lessen the torment of school life.



hale_bopp
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18 Aug 2006, 6:41 am

deep-techno wrote:
I have been thinking about incidents with other people in my class who have bullied me, and nobody has really stuck up for me that much. Right now, even though 2 new kids are moving into my class, I'd say that all of the pupils in my class would be biased against my diplomatic points of view and logical analysis of situations, or not care about it.


That bit stuck out immediatley. That would annoy me too, kids don't really care about in depth opinions. Some people just find intense people hard to deal with.


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Often, I've said comebacks to people's insults, and the whole class says "Oooooh" (even for a potentially uninsulting comment). However, people have insulted me but the whole class doesn't go "Oooooh" like they did when I say something. Completely unfair.


That would be because they probably didn't expect it from you. People used to do that to me, as in "wow that quiet girl spat out an attack, reow" Although I still don't fully understand why.

And, in a situation such as this...

On June 15th, in an older topic called 'B1TCH!', I wrote:
At school in lesson 5 an English teacher quickly came into the room when a girl in the class was calling out and I quietly said to the teacher "She's always trying to be the class clown".


That would come across as a teachers pet/nark attitude, tbh.



deep-techno
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18 Aug 2006, 6:55 am

hale_bopp wrote:
And, in a situation such as this...

On June 15th, in an older topic called 'B1TCH!', I wrote:
At school in lesson 5 an English teacher quickly came into the room when a girl in the class was calling out and I quietly said to the teacher "She's always trying to be the class clown".


That would come across as a teachers pet/nark attitude, tbh.


I'm just one of those people who always conforms.


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hale_bopp
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18 Aug 2006, 9:46 am

deep-techno wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
And, in a situation such as this...

On June 15th, in an older topic called 'B1TCH!', I wrote:
At school in lesson 5 an English teacher quickly came into the room when a girl in the class was calling out and I quietly said to the teacher "She's always trying to be the class clown".


That would come across as a teachers pet/nark attitude, tbh.


I'm just one of those people who always conforms.


I'm just letting you know what it looks like to NTs.



deep-techno
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18 Aug 2006, 10:43 am

Oh, I thought for a while you were calling me a teacher's pet! :D


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superfantastic
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21 Aug 2006, 3:32 pm

For most NTs, agreeing with the teacher on anything makes you a teacher's pet. Even if the teacher's right, and even if they would agree with him/her, they don't because they think it makes them look cool.
Apparently.



deep-techno
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21 Aug 2006, 3:38 pm

I do understand that some people want to be cool.

I, for one, don't see the point of trying to be cool. This world is warming up, isn't it? :D

I like to be sensible and conform. I don't care if people call me a teacher's pet, as I often talked to my Year 9 teachers with questions. My friends often do, too.



superfantastic
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21 Aug 2006, 3:42 pm

deep-techno wrote:
I, for one, don't see the point of trying to be cool. This world is warming up, isn't it? :D


:D

I know you're right, I feel the same way. That's just the conclusion of my NT observations.



RPM
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22 Aug 2006, 2:04 am

I so totally had issues in Elementary, Middle and High School with Classmates.

College on the other hand has been good though even though there was one class I was in where I did deal with a girl who acted like a big time know it all.

Other than that things have been great with College classes.



Xuincherguixe
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23 Aug 2006, 3:10 pm

Back when I was in school at points it seemed like everyone was against me. When the truth was probably that there where a number of people that where, and everyone else just didn't seem to care very much.



deep-techno
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29 Aug 2006, 3:14 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Quote:
Often, I've said comebacks to people's insults, and the whole class says "Oooooh" (even for a potentially uninsulting comment). However, people have insulted me but the whole class doesn't go "Oooooh" like they did when I say something. Completely unfair.


That would be because they probably didn't expect it from you. People used to do that to me, as in "wow that quiet girl spat out an attack, reow" Although I still don't fully understand why.


What happens during situations like that - is that people insult me and nobody cares. I say something back to them which is just so mild (like "idiot" and "clown") and people make such a big deal about it and try to make me look a bully. Can someone explain this to me, as I don't understand it fully.



superfantastic
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29 Aug 2006, 5:17 pm

It seems that they just need someone to pick on. Do they know about your AS? Because they often pick the one they consider "weak" (even if you didn't tell them, they might feel it). Or the one with no friends to stand up for them. Do you have friends in your class?



deep-techno
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30 Aug 2006, 2:26 am

Some people would say that they are, but just a very mild relationship. I do often talk to a few people in my class, but I don't consider them as friends.

My only friends are two AS boys in the year above me, who are very good friends.