Gender issues at school

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Yesterday I was in a pub, I was drinking. I needed the loo and went to the loo which was in front of everybody, as I left the loo this young girl began screaming "THERE'S A BOY IN THE GIRLS TOILET" and things to a similar effect for several minutes. I felt like dying. I sat and downed my drink and thought, "You just dont belong here"
I have the same issue at school, people asking about my gender, people joking about my gender, is it any wonder I'm suicidal? I wonder. Don't beg me not to do anything stupid, it's not stupid to take one's life, it's a risk, I may be condemned if I do it, I may not. I'm existing in the void of a metaphysician with a taste-for-suicide.
Thank you for reading this somewhat negative note,
eliotraincloud (the messed up kid)

This is probably more of a Haven concern.

That being said, I really have no idea about your body, but I think there are a few ways to go about this:
1) Dressing to emphasize that you are a female. I don't know how that would be for you, but generally people also look at clothing/dress/hair when determining gender. I am not sure how viable this option is though, as I don't know how you currently dress, and the features people use to identify your gender. However, whatever your issue is, you could probably alter things to some extent. My advice for this road is trying to see if there is somebody willing/able to help you with the fashion elements. However, even if you look like a man in drag, you'll probably still be treated like a woman in most cases.
2) Using a sense of humor. This is really a very intuitive option for me, because even though I am shy, I am also a loud individual with a good sense of humor. But, if you use a sense of humor, you can change how people regard qualities about you, and the weight put on them.
3) Not caring. People are important for achieving objectives, but unless this is interfering with an objective, why does it matter? This is probably the route that many people go down, but it is not very good if you actually want social interaction or to mate or something like that. It is perfectly fine if you are just the sort who loves to read and all of those non-social activities.

Does this help? You're probably not as messed up as you think you are, just in a very very bad emotional place at the moment. My advice is to stop focusing on what is external, and instead focusing on what you want, and strategizing on how you can accomplish your objectives. This includes trying to take a long-term view on your life.

Edit: I hope you don't mind, but I looked up your posting history.

Being a teenager is just an outright awkward time anyway, and if you are 15, you might still develop more to some extent. I know the clothing idea is not one you like, but it is a very sensible way to deal with a problem, especially one that makes you feel this bad. Obviously, the goal there is just to do enough where no confusion exists, and it is a utilitarian goal on that.(you don't have to look like a pop singer or close anyway)

Just be yourself, dress how you want and do what you want. If people don't like it, then it's their problem and they don't deserve your attention.
People probably want you to fit in, which means becoming a faceless, brain dead sheep. Strong people stand out.

You should hardly consider it you fault someone else can't recognize your gender, If it is important to them then they should know and really most of the time it is not,. In many parts of Europe there is just a toilet and both genders use it.

Sorry you found that experience disturbing,

I am of the belief that nobody is completely one gender we all are a combination of both to a greater or lesser degree.

If it really bothers you, you could wear skirts or something, but I highly recommend learning to not care...you shouldn't give up your self expression for other people.

I can relate to your experience because I am transgender (female to male), so people get confused on what I actually am all the time. People do not recognize the amount of blur there is between the genders and gender expression. I think you need to realize that people can be incredibly closed minded or ignorant.

That being said, you owe them nothing. Dress how you want and be who you want. From what I am aware of, at least in the Western world, there isn't a law that states you have to dress and behave according to your reproductive organs.

Just ignore that crap.

When I was a kid and teenager people used to have real trouble telling my gender. I was very often mistaken for a boy. They'd ask my parents whether I was their only son, refer to me as a "he" all the time etc. I once had a summer job doing gardening work for my town and my supervisor thought I was a boy and always referred to me as a male and put me in a group with 4 boys and called us "the boys" all the time and the other two groups were "the girls". After I had worked there for 5 days the guys just couldn't resist anymore and told our supervisor that I was a girl after he had once again called me a boy. He got really awkward, stared at me for a moment and said "really?".

Anyway, I always just approached this gender issue with humor. I found it funny that people couldn't tell and in a way it was nice to see someone else get awkward with social interactions than me for a change.

Maybe I never took it personally because I do consider myself to be a guy in a female body, so it was not a big deal for me and I didn't feel insulted or embarrassed about it. If someone made a scene about "that boy" it was easy to revert the attention and embarrassment to them by correcting them.

In my late teens this stopped being an issue. I guess I started looking slightly more feminine than before, although I've always been far from looking girly. I don't know how old you are, but chances are your looks will change with time and cause less confusion. If this bothers you a lot you can also try to emphasize your gender by dressing more feminine or maybe doing something with your hair or something to make your gender more obvious.

Depression can get better. I used to be really depressed and suicidal myself and didn't believe things could ever get better, but they did and life became pretty good, so try to hang in there and don't give up. Things won't be this way forever.

Hello everybody,
Sorry for my late reply, I hope you don't think of me as rude now. I am very grateful to you all for taking time to write me your replies.
In terms of dressing in a more feminine way, I have never subscribed to that and so it would take time to learn. I'm 15 and very rarely wear make-up, only on some occasions do I wear make-up and even then my mother applies it, small amounts too.
Amik: your story was really intresting and it made me feel, though it may sound cheesy, like I was not alone. You, like me, having survived your teenage years having these sort of 'gender issues' affect you and your sense of humor, coupled with your general attitude toward the situation, has helped.
I feel like a guy with tits, scared to go into the girls toilets, scared of being outed as a girl but at the same time not knowing what to say about being refered to as a boy. I contemplated going into the mens loos recently and think I might try it, I get refered to as a boy often enough and questioned or given funny looks upon entering the girls loos ect.
Thanks again,
eliotraincloud