The High School Dance is Corrupt and Depraved

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As an aspie who tries to be social and fit in with others, I thought that the perfect opportunity to take up that flag and pursue a sense of normalcy was to go to a school dance. Since this was a Winter Dance, with the theme Winter Nights Dream (An unintellectual play on the Shakespearean "A Midsummer's Night Dream" to all you kiddies), I obviously had to take a date along. For weeks, I hunted for a date that I thought I could bring along to the dance. I had several different plans in place in case any of the previous plans would not work, and, surely but slowly, worked my way through all of the possible plans that I could employ. Finally, I decided to take my guitar teacher's niece, who was slightly homely looking, but was also very sweet (I do not discriminate based on looks for the most part).

The affair before the dance was the typical stuff that couples did, taking pictures, meeting with the parents, etc etc. I offered to double date with my sister and her in order to make it easier on my parents, who were frustrated with the whole cost of the affair. Excited yet slightly nervous about what was going to happen, I was driven by my parents down to the Chinese place next to where the dance was located, and we had dinner.

Dinner was great. Everyone we knew was so agreeable and kind to each other. Little did we know that this attitude would pervade even during and after we left the dance.

We entered into the lobby of the dance hall , which was actually a rented area of a Christian music venue, and saw some of our friends. After greeting them, My date and I went into the dance hall. The evening started normally enough, with them playing the same processed (C)rap and hip hop that is played at every single dance, and everyone either dancing along to it because they liked it or because they could pretend to like like it. Then, something abnormal happened (in my eyes). Everyone started violating each other's space and grinding up against each other as if they were doing some sort of cobra mating ritual, with some of the young ladies even bending over in front of their males pants as if to summon some long lost daemon from another plane of reality. This ritual, called "grinding" by many who partake in it, shocked my date an I, as we awkwardly watched what was happening and I tried to dance along to it without getting any booty in the way of my pants.

After a couple slow songs, my date and I decided to leave this en masse mating ritual that was going on, unbeknown to the teachers, and the security who was supposed to be watching everyone. Of course, my sister and her date were outside as well, overwhelmed by this sort of cultist dance that had become so popular over the past decade or so. Due to the fact that we felt it was very awkward to grind against our dates, we left the dance early and got some ice cream.

So, what do you think? Am I just some kind of party pooper, or do I have a a valid excuse for leaving the dance and then choosing to spend about 20 minutes ranting about it to WP?

Yep. If it's making you feel uncomfortable, don't partake in it.

You are absolutely correct in doing EVERYTHING that you did with this dance experience.

I've had two kids go through the whole process of the dances at high school. They avoided almost all of them, but did go to their proms. Even so, they did not enjoy those dances because of all the "grinding" going on. It made them feel REALLY uncomfortable. I always wondered why my oldest son avoided high school dances so much.

Now we have our youngest son, who is 14, and we are not encouraging him at all to go to these dances for now. I just think it would really freak him out. Maybe when he''s older, and can ignore things better. But as you've experienced, it's hard to ignore this stuff.

I'm just wondering when the school officials decided that this type of behavior was ok. I'm not even a total prude -- but it wouldn't be ok to do in the school halls -- why is it ok to do in a dance? It's just weird.

I agree with you schleppenheimer... you are right

I never attended a single dance in high school. I hate dressing up, I can't dance, and I hate crowds, so I didn't see the point in going.

I hope your date never forgets your display of good character.

While it's not my cup of tea, "corrupt and depraved" is a rather normative judgement based in a particular set of sex-negative, if rather common, values. I don't do it because I don't want to, not because I'm judging others for it.

Beginning to end, before I ever got there, it would have been a nightmare for me.

AND, by the way, I will stop my normative judging of others when they stop dumping their norms on me.

My closest - not very close - experience was quite bad enough. My 8th grade graduation party [that is as far as that school went, so graduation it was] was part of the school day and not optional. At least in those days dating did not happen to 8th graders.

BUT one event at the "party" was a dance contest. Contest? Everybody had to dance or pretend to dance [everyone who has ever tried to teach me to dance has gotten hysterical and given up] until the teacher - pretty much on whim - "eliminated" you. Soooo - longsuffering me and the equally longsuffering girl assigned to be stuck as my partner were of course the last "dancing" and the winners.

Not fun, though ever so respectable.

In case you're wondering, the "prize" was something TOTALLY useless to me, so I complaned and the teacher hasd to scramble to find an alternative.

Ok, ive never actually been to a highschool dance due to my social outcast status but ive been to some college dances. And at all of them, theres friggin grinding, its a common thing. At the dances at my school its packed with everyone grinding with everyone and drunk people falling all over the place. I dont know if highschool is as bad. But basically its very very common and it happens at almost all dances. And yes when I first went to a dance, I was shocked and it did make me feel uncomfortable at first but Ive been very desensatized to it over the years. Me and my friend just make fun of it later.

Meh. Your great grandparents were probably shocked by how your grandparents danced.

I did that before, was fun, I don't see what you're complaining about

BTW, what does "homely looking" mean?

Welcome to the world of contemporary dance.

Grinding is common- it's everywhere; high school, college, clubs, parties, raves, wherever. It's never bothered me- it's just the cultural norm I grew up with, and I'm only 20. I've never been a part of it though, never participated. Never been much of a dancer, and I never liked the rap and hip hop it's often found with. Techno, on the other hand, where grinding also shows up, I like, but still don't dance to.

Like Asp-Z said, I really don't see what you're complaining about. And also to Asp-Z, homely means, in this case, somewhat physically unattractive.