What was helpful to you once you got to college?

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Was it the Special Ed college support system for students on the spectrum?

Was it being prepared for college?

Was it living alone? with others?

Was it your department and major?

Was it an advisor?

Was it a friend? Teacher? Classmate?

What went wrong? What do you wish had been done for you?

Thanks. My son is only a Junior in HS but I want to prepare him for years
down the road when he might think about going to college. He does not
want to live there but he would like to try it.

Thanks
~mm

When I first got to college, I didn't have accomodations, lived in a noisy dorm where I couldn't sleep, was unprepared to handle money and feed myself, etc.
I bombed the first semester of one of the most prestigous colleges in the country/world.

Now that I'm back in at a far less handsome institution ,

Accomodations do wonders. (Every place is different, though, so compare and contrast different Uni's disability resources)

I think Temple Grandin talks about having "go to" people in various locations. I had a "go to guy" that helped me get through a year. It helps to know what you're interested in and to find faculty in that area, b/c the connection is often made just off that. That's how it was for me. I was taken under a wing.



I just found out about this:
http://www.collegeinternshipprogram.com/about.html

Which, at the time I would have stuck my tongue out at b/c I thought I was very smart and capable, but four years later now see that I could still use sorely.

Its amazing how much little life skills have an impact on all other things. The practical stuff. What other people take for granted as natural reasoning capabilities or things your parents teach you when you're in grade school.

Living alone so you can retreat to your own space and not have to rely on communicating with others for spaces like the kitchen.
Especially if he is the type to get stressed or tired by others. It's nice to have a sanctuary.

And as for studies and money-managing and things like that really depends on the habits he's already got/will get before college.

This is all fantastic.
Keep this information coming. I am beyond grateful!! !! !! !! !!
every detail is helping think about what would work for my son.
~mm

Just checked out the link. Yes, This is what I am going to request at the
next IEP meeting.

I was registered with the disability support office of my community college by the beginning of the school year. Basically, I'm allowed my own note-taker, and I can take tests up there. Sometimes, I'm able to postpone taking a test for another day, but that's usually if the office is closed during the testing.

Also, it's really helpful that there are such lenient rules for college students as opposed to high school students. In college, I'm able to roam around campus all I want without any security guards stopping me or telling me I need to be somewhere.

Since my city doesn't have public transportation, I'm able to use a city-wide transportation service for people with disabilities. They usually just drive me to school, but I can also call them anytime I want if I need to go someplace else.

I also think you should encourage your son to join some of the campus' clubs and organizations. I did, and it helped me make a lot of new friends. It could be very beneficial for his social life.

For me it was waiting and growing up. I left home at 17 to go to college and failed out by the time I was 20. I was too young and too immature to handle the responsibility. After spending another 4 years working for a living I found the maturity and burning desire for further education. I graduated with a GPA of 3.6 which is difficult when you start with a 0.9. College is not for every teenager. I wish I had waited and will likely advise my children to do the same.

Well I'm just a freshman about to start my 2nd semester, so I don't know how representative of the college experience my answers will be, but here we go. Also I don't have an official diagnosis (of AS, anyway), so I can't request accomodations, but I do just fine in the class stuff. I do have a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder, which allows me to live in my own apartment off campus, which allows me to keep my dogs with me. That's the most important part for me. I get my own space, with much less noise than a dorm room. My high school didn't really prepare us for college, they acted like they did, but they didn't. I think having a major I love is an important part of it. I'm genuinely interested in every class required for my major and minors. I'm not crazy about the history or art requirements, but I'll deal with it. My advisor has been great so far, she knows what she's doing and she's willing to help me figure stuff out. (In comparison with my high school counselors who have no clue what they're doing, and act annoyed when you ask for something. One example: they sent out our transcripts (after graduation) without our graduation date on them, so they were invalid. I found out the night before freshman orientation, and they were both on vacation, so there wasn't anything I could do about it. That caused a lot of problems....) I have two friends from high school here and they're a big help to me, make me feel not so lost and alone. It's nice to see some familiar faces in a sea of strangers. I'm really close with two new friends I made in a class. I think four close friends is plentiful for me, I'm very thankful for what great friends they all are. So far nothing major has gone wrong, other than offices misplacing some paperwork and that thing with the transcripts. Good luck!

One good way to make friends is in the dorm, esp low-key activities like walking from the dorm floor as a group down to the cafeteria, walking from the dorm floor to a neighboring store and getting a soft drink.

Now, there is joking and teasing. At times good natured, at times not so good-natured. I had a heck of a time telling one from the other. And sometimes it slides from good-natured to not so good-natured. On this point, you might as well be a leader. Instead partial, half-hearted, and clumsy efforts of developing average social skills, I might as well make authentic efforts to develop good social skils. For example, 'Hey, what do you think this weekend we get together a frisbee game.' 'go into town' 'get some pre-law students and go see a court case' Very few people are making these efforts and it's an open field. A matter-of-fact, direct, positive leader. And if you stand up for other people it makes it easier to stand up for yourself.

Only part is, it might be tricky a parent telling a child he ought to become a leader, esp a mother telling her son.

Okay, and this part, also tricky. I recommend 'Tight, Defensive Boxing to a Draw,' I've even written a post.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt134616.html
Even six weeks of lessons can make a big difference. Yes, there is some element of physical bullying in college and it's helpful to have this as a baseline. To a draw, because you'd prefer not to embarrass someone. And if you happen to 'win,' be gracious about it. Don't brag or otherwise make a big deal about it. Even if someone compliments you, still don't make a big deal about it. And during training, you don't want to take a bunch of blows to the head because all that stuff about post-concussion syndrome, repeated concussions, repeated blows to the head, all that is largely true. Just tell the instructor 'I don't want to take a bunch of blows to the head,' and if he or she's not hip to it at this point, get another instructor. And just like a football helmet does not really protect, presumably boxing headgear does not really protect either. (In the post, I talk about one week and then practice on your own. Well, that's better than nothing and it might be enough if you're moving from one high school to another. But if you have the time, six weeks of private lessons might just do a world of good. Again, not showing off, walk away from a fight if you can. In zen like fashion, the fact that you're prepared actually makes a fight less likely. Do not fight someone even 20 pounds heavier than you if you can avoid it. And if you happen to 'lose,' I guess be gracious about that, I mean don't really have much choice about it, right? Just like football or basketball, it's a highly varied thing with many factors and can easily go either way.)

Almost sorry to bring up this, but in honesty you ought to know. And yes, this is probably doubly tricky a mother talking with her son about all this.

Also sleep problems in the dorm. You kind of lose an hour or so as you're trying to get to sleep and maybe a half hour in the morning when it's noisy before you'd prefer to wake up. I recommend the following book by a Stanford sleep guy
http://www.amazon.com/Promise-Sleep-Med ... 977&sr=1-1
He talks about how people generally have two upswings in energy in their Circadian clock (typically at 9am and 9pm, although this varies widely with people) and generally tow downswings (3pm and 3am, also varies). And he has such 'tricks' as a power nap can do a world of good, have one cup of coffee BEFORE the nap and the caffeine will wake you up a half hour later but that half hour nap can do a world of good.

Hope this helps. Wishing your son all the best!

In high school, dropping a class or changing a class almost requires an act of Congress! Whereas in college, it's as easy as pie. You drop it within the first 12 class days and you even get a refund! After college it occurred to me that I could have signed up for 5 or 6 classes with the plan of winnowing it back to 4 or 5. (At my old university, I now understand that they give a student like 10 early drops for his or her whole college career, so not quite as easily. And you want an early drop so it will not show up on your transcript.)

So, if I drop anthropology for example, I'm not saying it's a bad class, I'm just saying not for me, not at this time.

You can also preview classes. If you're registered at the university and it's a large class (and you look college age) you can just drop in. A smaller class, you might ask the professor, 'I'd like to get a head start by sitting in on a couple of classes.' (have done this on two occasions, with too much buildup. both cases the professor agreed, I could have been more relaxed about it, I suspect maybe two-thirds of professors will agree.)

On class load, a 'should,' as in I 'should' take a full-time load, that's a trap. Or, I 'should' take English and I 'should' take math, that was also a trap. Maybe one of them, but not both of them for the same semester.

That was not my experience. My experience was that most organizations have a couple of meetings the beginning of the semester and then generally run out of steam. Also, the leader seems to very early wish he or she had not taken on all this responsibility, and is not very open to proposals for new activities at all.

Plus, most of the people in clubs seem 'over-peopled' from dorms, classes, pre-existing relationships prior to college, and not all that interested in meeting new people.

Maybe kind of hanging back and reciprocating if someone shows interest in me (that combined with medium steps, neither baby steps nor giant steps, and seeing how it goes).

Well what helped me most was getting away from my parent and living with others like me. I just got finished posting about it here: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt147082.html

I didn't want to, and couldn't afford to, live at college my first year, so as a freshman I went to community college then transferred to university and lived in an honors "house" dorm after that. I was afraid that college would be like high school but it wasn't and after going to the community college I got up the courage to leave home.

What didn't help though, was that back then nobody knew what was wrong with people like us so there was no support or accommodation. I continued to struggle with grades and ended up taking a useless major just so I could stay and graduate. It was worth it for the social growth though, and later when I figured out what I was really good at, I went to grad school and got good grades. If I'd had help for AS, I could have done as well the first time and hopefully picked a more appropriate major for my skills.

Probably my eagerness and joy at finally being in college after waiting until the age of 23 to finally not have to list my stepdad's income. I had wanted to go to college for all of my life, the message of "you need a college education" being pervasively ubiquitous probably assisted in my overwhelm sense of demand for higher education.



No.



I was overly prepared for the first year and a half of college by my homeschool education 4 years earlier.



I live with my wife and I'm often more trying to encourage her to complete her degree in Early Childhood Education since it is both a requirement for her current career and she's almost done with it anyhow.



No. These both bored the heck out of me.



Advisers will always encourage you to stay enrolled and do as many classes at a time as your financial aid will permit. Have no doubt of that.



No.



What went wrong was I became disillusioned after the second quarter of my bachelor's degree since their textbooks are basically of the coffee table variety. Yay Rasmussen, the most wasted $20,000 I'll have to pay for over the course of my life.

Thank you everyone this is really helpful.

Today, I have an IEP meeting. We want out son's school district to pay for
a program called THINK COLLEGE. It has HS kids with a disability like AS
participate in a community college class their senior year. It is not for credit
and they attend with people they have never met before.

There is another program called CIP
College Internship Program. AS students attend a college campus for credit
but with intense supports. It is very expensive but they teach life skills along
with academic skills. They live on campus away from their families. Sort
of like a boot camp but all the teachers work with LD students.

I do not want to have my son just start college. I would rather see him live
at home and go part time. Or participate in one of the above to get a feel
for what he would like to do.


It is very scary for me. I want him to have opportunities, I worry if he is capable
or if I am pushing him too hard. How do I know? I don't, I am just trying to be
a good mom, give him space but help when he needs it.
Thanks again for all your wise comments.
~mm

I say extend each level of education as far as possible without getting into doubting abilities. There's a lot to learn at each level. And if its too easy, that's all the more time for one's special interest.

magicmom: I feel genuinely glad to hear you're providing this preparation for your son. Hurrah! He will be so much less likely to go through terrible things I went through.

I just hope they don't take this analogy too far.

You know, I remember a study in anthropology of society's that tend to have smooth adolescence vs. troubled adolescence. The gradual transitions made for smoother adolescence. The abrupt transitions, often with big meaning-laden rituals, made for more troubled adolescence. (like anything in the social sciences, not true across the board, but enough of a pattern to be worth mentioning)

I'm in the second term of my freshman year.

The good:
- living alone. I don't know if I could have managed the transition to college if I had to deal with a roommate.
- being in the honors program. More guidance, more individual attention, smaller class sizes...it's great.
- my honors program advisor. He's been so helpful with all my questions about classes, majors, and so on.
- living only half an hour away from home. I can come home regularly, see my family, and use my parents' washing machine.
- my RA. She's really nice and made me feel welcome here.
- being at a relatively small college. It's much less overwhelming.
- disability services. I get alternative testing and priority registration.
- great professors. I've learned a lot and gained some motivation.

The bad:
- the social stuff hasn't gone so well. I have two casual friends - people I talk to in class, but don't really see outside of class. Aside from the first couple weeks, when it was acceptable to approach a stranger and start a conversation, college is no easier than high school for making friends.
- after the first day of class, you can't drop it and get a refund. I would love to drop German because it's causing me a lot of social anxiety, but I've decided not to because I'd have wasted several hundred dollars on tuition and books.
- most of the people in my hall are incredibly annoying. I'm not friends with them, and there's nobody I have any particular desire to be friends with.
- in my experience, by college people are less willing to reach out to a shy or socially awkward classmate. I have no idea how people have made friends, because (after the first two weeks) nobody ever seems to strike up a conversation with anyone new.

Same here. I've joined/sampled several clubs in both high school and college, and the majority have not gone well. My impression is that people in clubs are generally not looking to make new friends or meet new people.