Where has all the bullies gone?

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In high school you see lots of bullying going on. In university/college, poof! Disappear!! !! !! ! Well, not really but still, a major reduction in bullying rates.

Ok, I have heard of a few reasons to explain, wondering if you had any more to add.

Reason 1: The bullies don't make it into post-secondary institutions.

Reason 2: People are now concentrating on their studies and partying. The "bullying culture" is just not there.

Reason 3: People are more mature.

Reason 4: The consequences for bullying are severe, if authorities are notified.

Now, time for an analysis of the reasons.

Reason 1: I disagree. Bullies can be smart too. Afterall, I'm sure lots of politicians in this world are smart and have an education but wars still break out and countries accuse each other of "bullying".

Reason 2: I gotta say, I agree with this.

Reason 3: I have noticed more maturity, but I think its more of a "culture/following the crowd" rather than biological maturity in the brain. I mean, grade 12 (senior year of high school) is just one year apart from first year university, there's no biological basis to explain the sudden "jump" in maturity. Besides, some people still do stupid or unwise things.

Reason 4: I have to admit that I don't have much knowledge of this. I don't even know how often bullying is reported and how good the enforcement is carried out if its reported.

Reason 5: in college environment, your schedules are too spread out to develop meaningful relations with most people, whether positive or negative.

While in high school, you can find yourself crammed in the same room with the same bully every day.

The nature of bullying just changes from HS to College

This, and number 6. College is expensive, and having a college degree actually counts for something. So the fact that college is a big deal (and subsequently, they are now a big deal) means they don't have time to bully people that aren't a big deal. Bullies aren't usually the most popular kids in high school anyway. It's a much bigger deal to find girls to have sex with and parties to drink alcohol, and kids that get bullied don't typically show up there anyway. Bullying kids is about making yourself look cooler, and having sex and drinking alcohol makes you look 10 times cooler than bullying some stupid loser, and it's less work too, especially if you combine sex and alcohol.

Actually it is said that in college/university, you make close friendships that last for a lifetime (that didn't happen to me so far, but I suspect I have aspergers so its an execption). But with close friendships comes relationships that can go sour so this argument may not work well.

People start drinking alcohol in high school. And the sex part, it really depends on the school. I have the impression that not a lot of people have frequent sex at my school. People at my school are smart enough to realize that it isn't worth the risk (there may be consequences such as pregnancy/STDs) and it isn't a big deal to delay a bit and wait until you're done school and are "more settled with your life."

Bullying gets institutionalized in college: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hazing

I think the major difference is not in the bullies, but in the victims: nobody who was regularly bullied in high school would submit to a frat/sorority hazing ritual.

I think there are a couple of factors you missed. One, post-secondary schools tend to be significantly larger than high schools - enabling those who are vulnerable more ability to hide from bullies. Two, people in higher education tend to separate themselves into their course of study/interests - so, victims are likely to be part of a group (in itself, the best deterrent to bullying) and to generally stick out less.

I was bullied a little bit in college, but it didn't matter much because I had a group of friends who understood me pretty well, and who would stick up for me if it got beyond the occasional verbal comment.

I dunno, it depends. To this day I have no proof of whether the perpetrator was at my college or not, but about a year back my girlfriend and I were chased off of DeviantArt by a string of hateful comments and trolling, which the mods did nothing about. I heard from a friend, though, that she overheard several girls talking and laughing in a coffee shop about her and how she was <insert girl-to-girl insult here> and how they were having so much fun tormenting her online.

Now if it had been me, I would have decided right then and there that chivalry was dead and attacked the group. As it was this friend gave them a good chewing out.

She hasn't been back to dA since, and I was avoiding the place until recently.

I personally think that bullying gets a lot more subtle in college, though still hurtful it isn't as detectable. But for the most part, college students don't go out of their way to bully others. Even those who would bully a lot in high school would much rather do their own thing with their own friends, instead of going out of their clique to torment others. It's kind of a live and let live attitude.

Also, UW is a campus that prides itself on tolerance. For one, we live in a state that has promoted equality long before the women's suffrage movement or the civl rights era. For another, ever since we got pegged as homophobic after the Matthew Shepard incident, we've been committed to disproving that label (however false it may be), not just for sexual orientation but for race/ethnicity, religion, and other differences.

Whats UW? Its interesting because my university is also called UW (University of Waterloo). And if you're talking about issues like homophobia, it happens even in the most tolerant of places and also, bullying comes in so many forms.

My thoughts....

1. Most "bullies" from grade school and high school either learn it won't fly (go someplace where somebody gives them what they have coming to them) and change most of their ways. In layman's terms...they grow up a lot.

2. Many "bullies" didn't rely on the threat of brute force and more on manipulation and peer pressure. These are abundant in the "educated" and adult worlds.

3. Most "bullies" who are basically thugs become criminals because they never grow up to better things. They wind up in and out of the prison system over minor or major charges as soon as they are too old to qualify for a month or two in juvenile hall.

Those are the main reasons I agree with.

Also, since college costs money unlike high school, it's more likely that the people who are attending college are more focused on their academics than they were in high school. They just don't really have the time to do any significant bullying.

UW = University of Wyoming. We got some bad publicity a decade or so back when a local student, Matthew Shepard, was beaten to death. The reason was most likely a drug deal gone bad; however, the perpetrators told the prosecution that they did it because Shepard was gay. I guess they thought it would help their case, but it completely backfired, and not only did some of them get jail for life, but the University and the entire state got pegged as homophobic by the national media because of it.

If you ever want to see a good theatre performance that explains the incident a little more eloquently, I invite you to check your local production company for any performances of The Laramie Project. It goes more in-depth into what happened.