school was a nightmare

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I found that most of the time I was picked on. The teachers never helped, only made it worse.

e.x: Like when It's time to present something and I'm too anxious to stand up, the rest of the classmates get punished because of me, which makes them hate me and move away from me

I got depressed by grade 4, and continued to be depressed for the rest of my life.
I remember my first suicidal ideation was by the age of 12.
All because of school and family (which wasn't helping).

At university all i see around me are incompetent people. I'm not particularly competent or anything, in fact sometimes i'm slow.


Everyone around me wants to pass for free, without hard work. Which eventually made me lose my passion for my profession. Now I somewhat hate my profession and find myself to be non-productive. Whereas before I used to take online courses, and read about my profession.
I'm burned out from all the people, the bullying and the incompetence.

I have this one guy in class that can't seem to understand anything. He seems to think, that if he becomes the teacher's pet he'll get easy grades. Ironically, i feel like it is working, due to gullible professors, or low self-esteem professors.