Leaving school does not make me worthless! :)

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I've posted before about my many struggles with college and my eventual decision to take some time off. I am very much at peace with my decision after two years of diligently trying as hard as I could to make it work. I experienced extenuating circumstances that would be extremely challenging even for NTs, in addition to dealing with my own AS, anxiety, and depression. My husband is supportive of my decision as well. So far, it is working out fine. I feel very much like I am getting back on the path I am meant to be on. I will probably go back and finish my bachelor's at some point, but for now, I need to take the break I should have taken in the fall of 2009.

I am finishing out my semester with just one class, I have a summer job lined up, and I have some very good employment leads for after the summer is over. I am already very much enjoying getting back into my volunteer work where I can do what I believe I was ultimately put on this earth to do: To be of service to other people, other living things, and our planet in general.

So things are great now, except for one problem. There are several people who are kind of looking down on me for committing society's cardinal sin of (gasp!) leaving school. Some know about the AS and some don't, and all know about the external circumstances. The ones that hurt the most are the people who say things like, "Well, *I* (was an nontraditional-age student/had trouble in a certain class/know that college is hard/etc.), and *I* was able to push through and get my degree."

I know in my heart that I did the right thing. I don't doubt it at all. I am finally learning to believe in myself and trust my judgment. I would like to finish my degree, but I will do it IF and WHEN I am ready. I am trying to keep reminding myself that those other people's opinions don't count. However, part of me feels like because I didn't do what the fabled "everyone else" did, it means that I am a useless piece of garbage. I KNOW that is not true! Yet off and on, I still hear that nasty little voice in my head, and then my insides (digestive system) start to hurt a lot until I talk myself back into feeling secure and non-defensive. I tell myself that these people can't *make* me feel bad; it's my own choice whether to feel bad or not.

Once I discovered "theory of mind," it's like the pendulum swung in the opposite direction. I became timid, tentative, and obsessed with what other people might think. It's difficult being a recovering approval addict, but this is a golden opportunity to finally break free of the addiction (without the pendulum swinging back to its original position, of course).

Has anyone else encountered situations like this one? What kinds of reassuring things do you tell yourself when others point out that they accomplished what you could not?

(P.S.: Interestingly enough, I took a lot of flack from people five years ago for *starting* college...)

Congratulations for doing what you needed to do for yourself. I hope you have continued success and a bright future, whatever you decide to do. Different people thrive in different circumstances. I get a lot of shaking heads over what I've done with my life, too. Just remember, it's their issue not yours.

Yeesh, whilst I can imagine a lot of people thinking it (everyone does feel like quitting at one point), who is dumb enough to actually say this to someone??

Good for you for doing what you needed to do. It's not like that's it these days; you can always go back and you can always do a different degree later on if that suits you better.

Even Bill Gates didn't finish college. Keep doing what you need to do.

Missed this bit! I feel exactly the same- approval addict is a good name for it!

I went from being over confident in primary school, to selectively arrogant (i.e in academic stuff) in high school but shy around people.

Now in uni, I'm in the bottom of my year (my own fault. I'm bad at studying) and I still want people to like me: it's become an obsession so much that a simple conversation is draining and as a result, I avoid them... talk about shooting yourself in the foot! So I'm like a shadow of my former self because . I've no idea how to even start climbing back up again.

Don't worry about other people--strive only to be better than yourself....

Also, I admire your great attitude... ! Good luck with everything!

I love you guys.

I'm also the same way! I went from being a good student in elementary school and junior high, to a great student in high school, but now in college I'm subpar. I'm not good at studying and get social anxiety around people and avoid talking to them. Now, I learn the degree I'm majoring in,political science, is useless for what I wanted to be, a politician, and I can become a middle school civics teacher at best, and I don't know what I wanna do with my life, I feel terrible.