B1TCH!

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At school in lesson 5 an English teacher quickly came into the room when a girl in the class was calling out and I quietly said to the teacher "She's always trying to be the class clown". Later it has been rumoured that I called her a clown (I didn't say she WAS a clown, I said that she was trying to be one). Then she was arguing about it to me and the teacher. There was one crucial thing - if I DID call her a clown - then why didn't I get sent out? (She was making a big deal about it on purpose - my learning support teacher helped me realise that she was trying to make people think I'm the culprit) She went on about it until the end of the lesson. She intentionally took the comment as racial discrimination - that's not what I was meant to be implying. After the end of the lesson, I went into my next class, where this girl argued with me again.

She was, again, making a big deal about it in front of my classmates. She would literally argue that black is white. She would try to make me look like an idiot by saying things that were false. I tried telling her to go away but she eventaully ended with "Right, I'm getting my mum involved". This left me in tears as it made me feel threatened. I then had to miss the next lesson as I went to write about what happened. I showed this to a learning support teacher who teaches me for Social Skills. She helped me realise that she was trying to make other people dislike me.

So here's what upset me:
She made a big deal over what seemed like nothing. It wan't even a mildly discriminative comment!
She was threatening me.
It has had my whole class turn their backs on me and ignore me, when actually my view is correct! Nobody had the decency to stick up for me. I shall pass this onto the Maths teacher that I would have had (we had a sub) and possibly the Head of Year. What's worse is that I have to sit next to this girl in science tomorrow!

She has also been jealous of me since I can memorise Pi to 30 decimal places. I'd like to hear your opinions on this - It'll make me feel much better.

Most people are used to saying things by implicatin and indirection. So if you choose your words very carefully in order to avoid giving a certain impression - you WILL give that impression. She took your carefully constructed words and heard "You're a clown." I'll bet so did everybody else. It's just how their minds work, poor things. I'm sure there are very good evolutionary reasons for it, too.

Twice one of the kids I worked with locked himself in a school bathroom stall, stood on the toilet and yelled, "People are saying I'm crazy"after the second time, I said, "Well lets look at the evidence, did you lock yourself in a bathroom stall, stand on the toilet seat and yell? Noone called you crazy 'till you did this." He then calmed down and came out of the bathroom. That girl according to what you are saying, is a clown. The evidence speaks for itself. I think you are handling yourself just fine. And I agree with TheGreyBadger on this one......but I think at the end just let the teachers and whoever handle this, I'm sure it will blow over. Maybe her mum needs to know what happened. This could backfire on Miss Clown, expecally when mum finds out why you said her daughter acted like a clown.

You're going to to have to develop a thick skin as a survival necessity. Or even just the APPEARANCE of a thick skin. This kind of thing is one of the most common interpersonal flareups that occur, and it will just happen over and over throughout life. People are innately very weak willed, society trains them this way, so they side with whoever makes the most noise. It's pitiful, I agree.

If it was me I would be saying, If It looks like a skunk and smells like a skunk, It's most likey a skunk.

That sounds like a pretty intense ordeal to go through. Sigh... high school is a pretty tough time (not that it gets much better after you hit 21), but you'll make it through.

One of the things that it took me a long time to figure out was that most people, when upset or in a social situation, choose their words based on their emotional appeal and not logical argument. You two may as well have been speaking different languages to eachother, except hers could still make you upset, even if you didn't know why. She could not have defeated you if the arguments were based on logic, so she chose something she knew she could beat you at; drama. Although, to her, I doubt it felt like an active choice. People are a lot like primates in many ways, the dynamic of social interaction being one of them. She was asserting her dominance over you because she knew you would let her; that was your role as the singled out, unallied male.

Getting mangled in arguments barbed with emotional buzzwords is something I think we are good at. The trick is to not let the emotions get to you; realize it IS a trick, a relic of savannahs long gone. If you can do that, you can rise above your opponent by rising above the game.

Tell her that you're sorry that you gave her the impression that you where calling her a clown.

Then tell her that she's really a b***h.

After all, you don't want any misunderstandings here now do you?


If people are going to be jerks to you, may as well get something out of it

Deep techno

I feel it is slighly worse to call someone a "failed clown", than to call them "a clown". Some people like being the center of attention however - I think this girl does. I think she may also feel quite insecure about herself, and so she's trying to push herself up in the eyes of the class by pushing you down. It's pretty common at school, to get up the pecking order, some people have to peck others down it. Aspies and NT's come into conflict a lot about this. Aspies are easy to peck because they don't even notice the pecking order or don't care where they are on it.

So you can just tell her, "you don't like how loud and disruptive she is, and you think she is really insecure, immature and a bully for picking on you".

Sometimes the smartarse come back is the only way to deal with these kids. They won't ever like you but they will start to leave you alone, because picking on you is humiliating.

However a better way of dealing with this, is not to make comments to the teacher about her where anyone else could possibly overhear. Ideally no comments at all. Consider the annoying behaviour a sign of low intelligence and debilitating insecurity on her part, and feel sorry for her, but don't try to help her. Try to ignore it. If she attacks you directly, say something to the effect that you feel sorry for her because she thinks she can't get ahead in life without being an immature bully. Don't let her bluff you into tears. No reaction is best. Tell her you don't place any importance on what she thinks, and walk away - ignore her.

The calmer you can remain the better. If you get really upset that just gives people like her ammunition to make their case. So think of her as a short lived bacterium, and consider that when you finish school she is not going to matter at all. What ever you have to tell yourself to feel calm - do it.

She argued that black is white.
If they are the same, there's no differientation of race.
If there's no differentation of race, there can be no racial discrimination.
These people really need to think before they speak.
To quote someone else - why do closed minds always seem to be connected to open mouths?

That was one of the reasons I really beat on myself about social skills - I realized that not only a lot of people kinda psycho like that but that its totally socially appropriate for them to be that way (or at least everyone else will back down because they don't want any and they'll rally more support than anything else). The trick is next time this happens, probably the only way you'll pull your way out of it is by pretending that your ice cold, like your ignoring em, like they're nothing to you and you did mean to make something of it but got your fun and just wanna move on. If I've noticed anything these types of people will go at someone who's actually nice and didn't mean any harm way harder than someone who's just like themselves - shows where their heads are at I guess.

Sorry, I know this is more than a month since the last post, but this girl has tried to make me look like an idiot before. I would just ignore it. I could say to the teacher discreetly "She knows that I'm more mature than her and she's trying to rise in the class by pushing me down. So don't believe her."

She is okay most of the time but about 40% of the time she can be really immature.

Talk to her about the damn problem that is bothering you. If you call her a name it will get you in even more trouble than you are.

Actually it doesn't really bother me anymore. I was just interested to see people's responses. Thanks!