Craziest/funniest/weirdest/psychotic professor you've had

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Tell me about Craziest/funniest/weirdest/psychotic professor you've ever had. Does not need to be all of those things for one professor.

This Creative Writing Professor,now retired...I just LOVED her! She scared away all the wimps in class within the first half hour of the first class.She stalked into the room and bellowed and dropped gigantic course handouts and assignment packets, rambled for a while how she graded (from A to Z) then left us to tremble over an in class project right away.
She consistently was impertinent,impatient,and handed back papers graded in her unusual alphabetical scale ( I recall someone getting a Y and being really paranoid about it). I really became fond of her,as I knew under that Viking warrior facade was such a maternal and really unique person.I went to her office to ask how to re write a poem (or rather,"learn to write" in her words hahaha), and she gave me a volume of Colette,My Mother's House and Sido,and we just talked about books,travel,art and life for a long time. She had to have cancer removed from her eye and disappeared halfway through the semester. The next semester she came back and I'd sneak up on her nibbling a cookie, and chat with her before she left to terrify her new students in class. She has since retired and it's nearly impossible to get in touch with her.Amazingly talented poet,not sure if I should share her name though. A real original.

There was a economics instructor I had once who used yell and laugh at the students pretty much all of the class period. For example, he'd mock and laugh at the foreign students when they couldn't enunciate correctly, or stumble because they couldn't think of the word for what they meant.

I had my next class in the room adjacent to the room that guy was teaching in. You could hear him yelling through the wall, to the point that the instructor (on my side would) roll his eyes and wait until the noise would die down, so he could go back to being heard.

I found out later that he (the yelling guy) was chair of the department, which I figured was why he could get away with being that openly obnoxious.

Some instructors are challenging, or tough-but-fair, or critical because they have high standards for their students. And some may even be the "lovable curmudgeon." But some are just pricks. It's not even like he was a great instructor.

Two come to mind.

The first guy, who sadly passed away a few years ago was my Physics teacher at secondary school. He taught well but the lessons were in a way extremely slow, because to every thing he taught, he would add a highly interesting yet unusual story of physics throughout history. It was like an in depth history lesson and physics all in one.

The second person was also a seperate physics teacher, who was just an outright crack pot. He understood his work but he was OTT. He wanted the belt back for example, he was racist to a pupil once, he took a block of wood to class which he would slam off the desk to get the classes attention, he would not call the males and females by their names, he would just stirnly say "boy" or "girl". He would also use a strange variety of metaphors too.

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Oh yes I have two that come to mind. The first one was our general drawing teacher for my first year of uni/college. She was like a hippy, new age woman who was very friendly but when she would describe our drawings she would use words like "cosmos" and "delicious" which was quite random. We ended making a quote for her "the cosmos is delicous!" it's a random quote I like to use

The other teacher in my first year was a psychopath (taught boring still life and shading). Ranted at me once for not doing a good enough drawing once day and said to me "are you a psychopath or something? It's like your brain has an on and off switch!" I guess it does haha

I once had a writing professor who mimed getting arrested when talking about plagiarism XD

I had an Ecology lecturer who lay down on a table, and star tea pretending he had the weight of the ocean on top of him, shouting it weighed the same as a thousand 747's.

I had a physics professor who never actually taught anything instead; she basically told us that she was our coach and made us read the book. She'd usually give us more than 50 homework problems to do each day and assign extra problems that "you have to do if you want to succeed in physics" but which she didn't want us to turn in. She also had four really irritating habits: she would answer her phone during lecture, hum during lecture, always make you wait for her to finish her private, non class related, conversations before letting you ask a relevant question, and used class time as a platform for her political views (I didn't necessarily disagree with her politics but class is neither the time nor the place for such things).

My Latin teacher said I was reading (Latin) metrics as if I was stoned by the holy fumes of Delphic Oracle.

My first year religious studies teacher at college was the best. He used to get really excitable when teaching us and he'd go really enthusiastic and laugh and shout and everything. And he talked reaaally slow and dragged words out so they're longer than they should be. And sometimes he made us jump by suddenly yelling something.

He once tricked us all by telling us a "true" story about a serial killer in an American highschool in the early 90s or something. Who used to take his victims to the store room and kill them with scissors, and they were called the "scissor killer", almost all of us fell for it.

Hands down it was my film theory professor. He was an alright lecturer, however he frequently assumed the class never did the readings (which might have been true for most of the class, but it did annoy me, since I did them) and actually used the F-word a few times, which was a little off-putting.

I'd have to go with my favorite history teacher Mr. Hollinger. He retired just a few years ago. He had two rules: be nice and work hard. And of course to "mind the gap" (meaning keep to your group). He always made fun of the math teacher next door, and she was always feuding back. And of course if we went of focus, he used the talking stick to produce a magical effect called the "wammy jammy!" I was the last one to ever be wammy jammied in his career lol.

Good times.

Probably the funniest professor I've had is my 3D modeling and animation professor. He's this rather reserved and stylish guy from Thailand whose thick accent makes everything better. He's really started to surprise my classmates and I though, as we've gotten to know him more because he's hilarious. We swear he's a ninja because he'll take random breaks and we've tried to follow him to ask a question and I swear the second he's out of that door he just vanishes because we've never successfully tracked him down. We're especially wary of him because he's made reference to tracking down people and stealing their livers.

One time he was late to class (no one had seen him in the building all morning and that man is always in the building at least even if he's never on time to class) so we were all confused and went searching for him. When he finally strolls in and explained how he had to go back home in order to get his cameras so we could film video reference one of my classmates interrupts him and goes: "We thought you'd died!"
He stops mid sentence and looks up going: "Whaaaat?"

He also has some blood pressure issues and so we often have to worry about him when he starts to feel ill during class. At first we didn't know what was wrong with him, and so he explained it to us. He followed it up with a "but that's okay because I kick ass."

Also when we were learning rigging he told us how there were some aspects that you had to get exactly perfect or else you were "doomed" and had to start over from scratch. He then went on to go "dooom, doom, dooomed, dooooooom!" for a little while while he was showing us what not to do. A little later in the lecture we were doing animations and he was like: "I need coffee." so he drank down his coffee before he started explaining it to us but was having trouble saying the right words so he explained instead: "Coffee doesn't help."

The best thing though happened outside of class. My best friend and I (we're like conjoined at the hip and the whole art department knows this) were peering in this installation piece that looked like a bathroom in the middle of the gallery hall when all of a sudden we hear someone say "boo" and push into us. My friend and I turn around assuming it's one of our guy friends but are shocked to see our professor standing there giving us the most serious expression I've ever seen in my life. He then took a few steps backwards and vanished down the hall while my friend and I burst out laughing.

I took a bunch of electives in comparative literature with this dude Willis Konick that was the most outlandish ever. It was long enough ago that I can't recall that many specifics, but he was so wild old school and literally screamed his lectures at like 75-80 years old.

Best story I heard about him was in a class I wasn't in, he got heated talking about how you couldn't smoke cigarettes in class anymore and pulled out a pack and fired up a cig in the classroom, took 2 drags and flicked it across the room into a garbage can like 20 feet away.

That dude was menacing, I remember being a freshman and having to do an oral final on Capote's "In Cold Blood" and Marquez' "News of a Kidnapping", it was me and one other dude that was a senior and fully checked out and I was so nervous I slammed a 6 pack of keystone ice tall cans and took 3 foot bong hits with this dude before we went in there and ended up getting an A+

I still have no clue what his grading criteria was cause I wrote what I thought was the best paper ever for him down the road and got a B- on it.

I'm going to have to say my physics and engineering teacher. She is so sane that she actually flips back over to crazy, if that makes any sense. I don't feel like making complete sentences, so I'm going to list the reasons in bullet form.

- She lets us eat in class
- She actually treats us like were humans
- She puts on Star Trek while we work on Fridays
- She uses profanity, and doesn't care if we do either
- In physics all our tests are open book and we work together as a class
- She is very understanding and lenient
- She doesn't care what we do as long as we learn something
- She never tells us to shut up; she just talks over everyone and doesn't care

I say that she is crazy because most teachers would not approve of this, but I say that she is sane because she understands what it's actually like to be a student, and she does all she can to cut through the BS. Most people need to be forced to learn and pay attention to actually do their work. I for one, am the opposite. Sure, the class might be an easy grade, but the low stress environment really helps me actually want to know more. I'm really looking forward to taking calculus with her next year; she is by far the best teacher I've ever had.

I had a music teacher that threw chalk at people who misbehaved. If he got really mad, he'd throw music stands, too - he didn't throw stands AT people, just throw them in general.