are your classmates really your friends?

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my advice to aspie college students is to not assume that just because you and your classmates talk often that you two are great friends.

especially, freshmen who try to make friends with seniors, as a way to get more popular around campus. some seniors are just lazy and want to BS their way through intro classes they need to complete. they'll ask for your notes, or to borrow your textbook, etc., and they'll use you, but that's not really friendship. even if it is a genuine friendship, chances are you'll most likely not speak to them after they graduate.

in many cases, when the class ends, numerous "friends" you made in the class will end. if your connection or matter of discussion in this friendship is predominantly about the professor, the course, or the material, don't expect it to last. of course, if you two meet several times out of a class, and are able to connect with each other in ways which do not involve only the class, chances are you'll keep them as a friend.

This is good advice for life in general, not just school. At least in my experience.

In my experience at a large state university back in 1982-83 when I was nineteen, I didn't really meet people in classes.

It was the dorm where I met people, esp something casual like walking to a convenience store with dorm mates (people on your floor, maybe not your roommate, but maybe people across the hall) or walking down to the gameroom.

But also, the dorm had some bullying, both criticism and at times physical intimidation, almost as if it was a recourse to junior high. A group of guys throw together establishing a hierarchy, as if we were chimpanzees sorting out who the alpha, beta, etc males are. Damn unfortunate, damn unnecessary.

I recommend taking some individual boxing lessons and learning some skills, for a baseline of confidence. The approach of tight, defensive boxing to a draw. And of course, yes, walk away from a fight if one reasonably can. If you "win" the fight, don't brag. Sometimes you'll lose. Only works against person own size. Please don't take a bunch of blows to the head during training, stuff about post-concussion syndrome and even repeating lesser trauma, largely true and boxing headgear doesn't really protect. Useful to have if necessary, hoping not to use. And I wish the world wasn't this way, but sometimes it is.

Truth.

didnt have freinds when i was at school.

Is it wrong to go through college and have no friends just acquaintances? I can never connect to people aside from the course, professor, homework etc. I'm only interested in my own special interests and cannot connect at all to anyone else.

What ive gotten alot of lately is meeting with people i used to be good friends with... well people i would spend all my time surfing with... Just randomly around town... They all change like none of them are really friends anymore... just people you mutually know... kinda sucks when the majority of poeple i used to surf with either dont surf any more or have moved away... Kinda left with noone now

Dingo7 I feel the same. Everyone I went to school with seems more like aquantiances rather than friends. I have however made a new friend in College as I started back in college in September. I think she's a bit Aspie too and we get on great. We also have a lot in common, so I'm hoping this one will last, but I doubt it. Besides that I have no friends in college who I would call friends, however a lot of the mature students are nice and I get on with them.