SERVERELY Struggling with College

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School has ALWAYS been a sore subject with me. Why? Because I have never found it that interesting. Heck, I barely made it through High School. Now in college, I find that the same thing that happened in high school is happening again, only this time, I've failed multiple classes and don't know what to do anymore. I feel like giving up on school but at the same time, I know that I need it if I want to make it anywhere in this world. *Sighs* This is currently my third class that I've basically failed mostly because of the tests and quizzes.....and mostly putting the assignments and/or studying off till the last minute. I sware I feel like SUCH an idiot. I just.....*Sighs* I don't know anymore.

Good for you that you're pushing yourself to get through college even though it's really hard. And it's hard even for people who aren't autistic, so when you have that to deal with it's really impressive that you're taking it on.

Since you're feeling so discouraged, can you visit the counseling center at your college and talk to someone? I can tell you really want to succeed, and maybe a little extra encouragement plus some help with managing your time will get you past this rough spot and get you on track.

Good luck and I hope you stick with it.

Thanks for taking the time to respond MammaB. Trust me, there have been MANY, MANY times during the past two weeks alone that I've been MORE than tempted to say forget college. There was even one night during those two weeks where I got so severely depressed at night that I had trouble sleeping. I think I got at most 3-4 hours of sleep that night, as the thing that really got me was that I kept failing classes that my parents were paying for. It's like, I know I'm lucky to have that, especially in today's economy, but it's still so hard for me to find the motivation. Everytime I fail a class, I just can't help but beat myself up. The sad thing is, as time goes on, and I quickly forget about my mistake, I seem to fall into the same old routine, and brush all school related stuff off as long as possible.

As for talking to someone, thanks for the idea but I've already done that too many times over to count. Yeah talking to someone helps, but that only does so much. What happens with me is that, I never seem to learn from my past school related mistakes. When it comes to school, I am the definition of an idiot: a person who does the same thing over and over and expects different results. I literally had NO real interest in school until about this time a year ago in 2010 when I found my passion for creative writing. After that, the only class that became fun in any way, was English as that dealt more with writing than my other classes.

Once again, thanks for taking the time to respond back.

Well if you feel college will help you reach your goals I would certainly suggest continuing your education........I actually have dropped out because I have no idea what I would even do with a degree and am kind of concerned about the college loans so I don't want to take more of them out. Though if it was not for a lot of various factors I might have decided to keep going to college, but for me it became rather impossible.

Having been more or less where you are at one point, I think your biggest problem is beating yourself up over it. I could be wrong, but when I was having problems like this, it was because I beat myself up over doing badly, which made me depressed, which sucked away my motivation, which made me do worse, which made me beat myself up more, ....

Break the cycle, one way or another. I ended up flunking out, joining the military for a decade, then getting out and going back to school. That's not necessarily the best way to do it, though. Avoid the flunking out bit if you can at all help it.

Taking charge of the situation and not simply letting things unfold is one thing that has always helped when I feel miserable about how things are going. Some physical exercise can also help with feeling depressed. (If you have actual clinical depression, that sort of thing might not be enough, but it is worth a try.)

Don't beat yourself up over things you have no control over. This includes things that you maybe shouldn't have done, but you did do anyway. You can't go back in time and change them now. You do have control over your current and future actions, though. Try to make those good.

It sounds like you're really unmotivated about college, and that's ok. I was too after the first term. It's a horrible, mind-numbing experience. I still stuck through it... somehow. It wasn't worth it in the end, though. I have nothing to show for it except for a worthless piece of paper.

You need to sit down and seriously think about why you're in college, and if it's worth it to keep going. Are you doing a technical major? If not, it's best to just drop out right now. The jobs just aren't there anymore. A good chunk of college grads, if lucky enough to be employed, are doing minimum wage work that a high school dropout can get hired for. If you are doing a technical major, I'd say drop out for the rest of the year or switch to online classes.

There's no shame in dropping out. It's better to do that than economically shoot yourself in the foot.

Wow thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart for all of your suggestions, I cannot begin to tell you how much they mean to me. Now to answer you all in order:

Sweatleaf: Yeah I do feel that college will help me reach my goals of being a writer. The thing is I at least have to get through freshman english as somehow despite being a writer I didn't test into college level english. Then, the thing with me is that the goverenment was paying for my schooling up until this semester. They refused to pay for it because I failed too many classes. My point is, provided I can get back on track and show them that I can handle a full load of classes (12 units) during the spring semester, they should be willing to pay for my schooling meaning that cost should not be an issue after that. Thanks again for your thoughts.

Ancalagon: Ok I'll admit that I can beat myself up over a bad grade which then can cause me to go into depression for a short period of time until I forget it and make the same mistake again. Although I've noticed that my main problem is that I can't seem to motivate myself enough to actually take the time to study and get the work done that I need to. Well, I can and I can't....It's hard to explain but I'll try anyways. Here goes, there are times where I can motivate myself but that's only when I have nothing better to do. It's at that point where I'm actually able to focus and get some good work done. Most of the time, that sadly does not happen. Trust me, I don't want to flunk out as then my parents will make me start paying rent, car insurance, etc...... Everyday now I'm trying to tell myself to take charge of the situation and make it better. It's hard and slow, but hopefully it helps next semester as it's too late for this one. As for the exercise idea, I try to at least every other day so my body has time to relax and and heal from the previous day. Yeah I've noticed that it does help a little. Thank you for your ideas.

Last but certainly not least, Cyanide: For me, it's werid. It's like, I want to go to college but just so I can have a degree in english/writing. The hard part for me right now is just getting through the general ed stuff. Thanks to my mistakes, I'm not sure how long it will take me. Although it might seem like the jobs aren't there right now, who's to say they won't be there in 5-10 years from now? That to me is the good thing about degrees, once you have them, they're good forever. I know that I at least want my degree in english/writing. Hopeful once I do have it, the job(s) will be there. Even if they aren't it will at least tell employeers that I'm serious about working. If they are there and the job(s) I want do require a degree I can then bet thankful that I already have it and thus at least have a chance at the job(s). I imagine that in that situation, the job that I want might not be there if I then had to take the time out to get the degree required for it. Still thanks for your advice/comment.

Once again I just want to thank all of you who have given me your idea(s) and comments so far. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.