College Life.

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So, I was just looking for some practical advice in dealing with a couple issues related to school.

First of all, I'm not really sure if I want to say I have Asperger's, and I question it's usefulness as an actual diagnosis (ex: cancer is a useful diagnosis because it describes a specific phenomenon that has a set of protocols for treatment, thus improving the patient's condition), but I was diagnosed at the age of 7 and given an IEP and an aid to help me throughout all of actually.

After that, however, school has been mostly very difficult. I am in college now, but throughout high school and middle school I was constantly in cycles of trying hard only to accept utter defeat and give up for awhile. I am usually very passionate about mathematics and physics, but my enthusiasm about them has often been squashed by the differences between my grades and the grades I need to pursue a career in the field where I can focus on just that and not worry about other means of income and self-sustainment. You see, I frequently lose assignments, forget to hand things in, and often I get this feeling that my thought process is in a completely different language than others.

Now, it is very easy to point out everything that is wrong with the educational system and how it may be very unfair to those who have a hard time remembering they just put on boiling water (went through 2 teapots this year already), but it doesn't change the reality of the situation, and may be counter productive to adapting to the system, which is ultimately my goal. It just seems like a cope-out to say "I have Asperger's, so school should change for me". I have read many places that parents mistake having Asperger's as their child being lazy, but then couldn't thinking you have Asperger's just give you an easy excuse psychologically to be lazier than you would have been?

My parents have told me I am not disciplined many times, and I feel as though I'm a lazy waste of space. Part of me wants to change that and work hard through college to get a degree, but another part of me wants to take the more laid back route and just work a minimum wage job where I can spend my free time reading books from the library about whatever I like (I am much more relaxed in general when working these repetitive, mindless jobs, and I find it much easier to simply enjoy mathematics without concern over my actual achievements and worrying about assignments I must do). The biggest frustration though is that sometimes in college I actually do learn something, or I have an interesting conversation about something with a professor, and it's those moments that plague me with indecision and uncertainty.

I guess what I'm really trying to get at here is the pros and cons of each choice. Is college really worth all the pain and effort, or is the armchair learning lifestyle actually a possible thing? I ultimately would like to know which path would require me to have to pay as little attention to my personal life as possible, yet still be able to adequately maintain finances, responsibilities, food, ect. all independently, so I could focus on what I'm interested in.

Hi, I just made a thread that relates to this issue a few hours ago. If you read my rant you'll see I've been left very bitter by my college experience. I honestly don't know what's best for you and your situation but I'd be tempted to say that if you just want to learn about math and physics and wouldn't mind working a mindless job then go for it. I sometimes wish I just got something simple like an associates degree or went to vocational school and got a run of the mill job.

Conman, I sware you sound EXACTLY like another of me only switch the math and physics for writing and you have me. If you take a look at my post, then you'll see that I'm going through the EXACT same struggles as you right now and have been doing that throughout my entire school life. Like you, I have been wondering if I've been using my diagnosis of aspergers as just an excuse to be lasier than I otherwise believe I would. About the forgetfulness after a short period of time, trust me you aren't the only one. Ask any of my family (especially my dad) and they will more than happily agree that I EASILY forget things. For me it's like, unless someone is depending on me to be somewhere outside the house by a certain time, I generally forget what I need to do in favor of remembering what I like to do which is mainly watching TV, writing and reading fanfiction. Well I'm glad that I found someone who's literally like a male clone of me and is my age that I could talk to. Hope we can again soon.

authorgrl28

Thanks for the replies, I read both of your posts and you the similarities do seem to be quite prevalent. The reason why I'm worried about taking a mindless job however is that I fear I may not have time nor energy to study after work, and I'll just end up feeling like I've wasted my life by being constantly too busy maintaining it.

Glad that I'm not the only one though, but the thing is sometimes I do enjoy school if I manage to get into a state of not thinking too much about my grades and enjoying the beauty of the material. Do you guys ever have times where it is like this? Also, have you found any ways to cope with being super forgetful? (It getting close to compromising my grades and thus costing me scholarship money, which I would really like to keep so my parents can experience the joys of a lower blood pressure).

Yeah I totally agree with you about the job thing. The funny thing is, that's actually why I have yet to get one. As for the school thing, same. It's like, once I get started on the assignment, I find myself hooked on it and it's hard to stop, then again that could be my determination. So to answer your question, I have times like that all quite often.