How to make friends in a school/college environment?

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I'm wondering how to make friends in a school/college environment. More exactly, I'm wondering how to go from the point where I am now to the point of having at least 1-2 friends.

Here's where I am now:
-When I come to school, I usually stand about 5-10 meters from the class crowd which is waiting in front of the classroom. I never approach anyone. Many people who notice me come to greet me and ask me how I am. Then, they end up being in front of me and talking to each other, with me feeling rather out of place.

-As we walk between the classes, some people sometimes approach me and ask me "how I'm doing", and such. We usually have a conversation.

-There are also some people (about 5-7 people) who are always very friendly to me for some reason and approach me all the time, even though I never ever approach them myself.

-I never ever approach anyone myself (I mean it), unless I have to ask about the schedules or homework. And even then, I never ever approach people who are out of my comfort zone. There are only about ~2-3 people in my comfort zone, and some get annoyed as I ask them the schedules/homework questions all the time.

-Whenever I'm taken to a group/clique by one of their members, I feel out of place, with everybody talking and me having nothing to add to the conversation (their conversations are usually incredibly dull and uninteresting). I then try to leave as soon as I can.

bump

I think you're actually in a fairly good situation, in that you do have people regularly interacting with you, and making the attempt to be friendly.

You have said that YOU DO NOT act necessarily friendly towards these peers unless you need homework or schedule information. Is this because you feel awkward? You have anxiety about interacting? You feel you'll say something stupid?

The thing that I learned years ago (I'm the NT parent of a couple of aspie sons) is that I needed to get over the fear of what other people thought of me. I realized that some may not like me, but that others would. It was just a matter of cutting my losses -- of becoming friendlier and friendlier with those who were already friendly with me, and not worrying about those who were indifferent to me. My actualy FEAR of making a mistake or worrying about whether people liked me was getting in my own way. Once I stopped worrying about that sort of thing, socializing went much better. Even the people who may not have initially liked me began to -- once I didn't care if they liked me -- because I exuded self-confidence.

I do think that aspies often don't exude self-confidence, and understandably so -- because socializing is a mystery. The thing is, even to some NT's socializing is a mystery. BUT, eventually some NT's learn that they must FAKE self-confidence for a while before they can be part of any group. FAKING self-confidence is a strange thing -- it's hard to do at first, and seems very disingenious, but in reality it's just a device to be used to talk yourself into feeling more at ease with people. It's akin to telling yourself, when you're not feeling well, that you actually feel better than think -- because, frankly, you have to go to work whether you like it or not and you don't have time to be sick.

As for being part of the conversation -- if you actually WANT to do this, spend a week listening to the types of things they are conversing about. Then pay attention to their topics later in the day -- either google them, or watch the tv programs they like, or the music they listen to, or the new stories they are following. Just for fun, PRETEND like you are also interested in these topics. NT's aren't always interested in their peers topics, but they fake it -- because the end result is often that they make stronger relationships, AND they eventually get to talk about what they are interested in.

I know that the conversations are incredibly dull and uninteresting. Believe me -- I get that. So you have to weigh your options -- are you more bothered by incredibly dull and uninteresting conversations, or more bothered by being on the outside of the crowd, looking in? It's seriously your choice. If these people are just so annoyingly dull that you cannot stand it, then don't worry about socializing. But if you are tired of being on the outside, you are one of the lucky ones who people approach. You actually have people starting conversations with you. Capitalize on that good luck, and work harder to fake an interest in THEM. You may be surprised to find that you actually like people who aren't always that interesting. Maybe they are kind, or available to you, or have one interest that you share, or are funny. There's almost always a characteristic of a person that you will find appealing.

[Moved from General Autism Discussion to School and College Life]