This depression is killing me, what should I do???

Post Reply New Topic

So I'm sitting here in my apartment locked in my room depressed. I'm in college and I have almost no friends because of how how different I act from others. I know exactly why I act weird many times, its cause of how the school system and the system itself has treated me growing up and how I view myself from being ridiculed for most of my life, and the years of being different are wearing me out. I try to keep busy by doing things to stay positive and I have done a lot so far. I run my own photography business, I'm the media director for Joe who is running for state rep, I am a published volunteer photojournalist for the local newspaper, and I am doing the entire graphic design for the school magazine called the "ICC Spring Thaw" that I raised 2,000.00 for on my own. Lately it doesn't matter what I do because it seems to only be partial relief. I am depressed, in college, and it seems like no matter what I do it keeps pushing me to the brink of insanity because and I get lonely. I'm also gay which brings about a whole bunch of other problems as I am living in the bible belt in Northern Minnesota so it makes it that much worse. I know I'm different and I can't seem to make any friends. Even when I make friends it's like I see myself as not worthy and almost as a sub-species and I do stupid things which makes me push myself away from everyone. Some of you on here might have an idea at how I can get out of this rut..... what should I do?

I know the feeling, some crowds can enhance the insecure feeling by making fun of other people. Are you openly gay? I know some places seem hostile, but I'm pretty sure you know that hiding it will only lead to more feelings of inadequacy.

Maybe if you went to a church (some Protestant sects aren't so judgmental), or tried choir practice. Most churches are warm and receptive to newcomers and I find singing to be very therapeutic.

I used to work with some real a-holes, so church was my place to be around people who didn't suck.

As a gay man, I suggest you move to somewhere with a good LGBT community. It won't fix it entirely, but it's a huge weight off your shoulders.

I don't know much good advice I can give you since I'm depressed myself. To deal with depression I keep with the basics; good exercise, good diet (low carb, high protein), good supplements. Lately, I've been looking into nootropics. Link. It looks promising but I haven't finished doing enough research to complete my stack. If you already have an diet and exercise regimen, then it's definitely something worth checking out.

In the end, the best thing you can do for depression is seek out a good therapist who is experienced with Autistic people.

Try and talk to the friends you do have about your issues. You can ask them for advice. It was hard for me too. They probably will help you.