I'm too afraid of asking anybody to do anything with me.

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bk697
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28 Jun 2012, 6:01 pm

I have a lot of friends at home but here I'm too afraid ask anybody to anything social. I ask people to do things professionally and they accept but I can't ask anybody to do anything social or talk to anybody new unless I'm approached first.



DonkeyBuster
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28 Jun 2012, 7:00 pm

Me too. I've been turned down a lot, but sometimes someone does take me up on it. That can be even worse, in a way. :lol:

What I do when I want to try asking for someone to do something w/me is remind myself that in the end we all end up dead anyway, so I might as well take the plunge & live dangerously. It seemed safer than bungie jumping. :lol: But for a long time, it was at that level for me personally.

It's come out positively enough that it feels more like gambling now, rather than a death defying leap. Risky, but it can have a great payoff. :D



Bill92
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05 Jul 2012, 11:26 am

I sympathize.

Really, my problem is that I always think that I'm an annoyance to others and that I wouldn't be worth anything to somebody else, so that's usually why I shy away from talking to new people.


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Blixten
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05 Jul 2012, 2:37 pm

Oh, I know how you feel, I'm the same way. People usually ask me to do things, but I rarely ask people unless I know them very well. I just don't want to annoy people. If I ask someone to hand out I usually text them to ask what they are doing, I might say I'm thinking of doing something (like "I feel like going out tonight/watching a movie/go get some food"), might say I'm bored. because everyone can relate to that, everyone has been bored and texted people about hanging out. Nt:s do that ALL the time. And kind of make it sound like it's not a big deal and I'm just checking with people. No pressure, you know, so they don't feel like they have to.



NicoleR
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06 Jul 2012, 9:52 am

Yeah, I have this problem too. I get nervous, I think, "why would they want to hang out with me?" etc, but it is actually worth the risk of being rejected. If you never try, you'll never know.

Since you have friends think about what their interests are, see if they share any of the same interests, and do something, which relates to that. I personally love Disney movies and I know that one of my friends shares that interest. I tell her that I am interested in going to see whatever movie and I ask if she wants to come with me. Most of the time, the answer is yes.

The problem is that people get tired of having to ask if you want to do something/ talk it makes them feel unwanted so make sure that you have a "give and take" relationship with people. I appreciate that it is very difficult, but remember even "regular" people get nervous.

Good luck! :)