Kicked out of apartment because of forgtefulness

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I forget to turn off the oven and forget to lock the door and roommate won't deal with it, and am afraid to tell parents.

You know, I thought I was gonna read you got kicked out of your apartment because you forgot to pay the rent. Just tell him it was an honest mistake.

both of those things are safety issues. i understand where your roommate is coming from. perhaps you could develop a system to remind yourself to do these important things, so you don't end up in the same situation again.

in the meantime, if you need mom and dad's help (which is no shame), you'll probably need to spill the beans.

Would it help you to make signs to put near the door/oven reminding you to lock it/switch it off?

Hi, Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Now, neurotypical people make these mistakes, too, and we as people on the spectrum should not be held to a higher standard. That said, I do agree with cathylynn that these are safety issues. With the door, I just make a point of (almost) always locking the door, a rare exception might be if I'm carrying several loads in from the car and directly going back and forth. But even if I'm only going to be in for fifteen minutes, I still lock the door.

Ideally, you want your parents on your side and with a good general idea of what's going on in your life. Maybe just tell them matter-of-factly in a couple of sentences without making a big production, something like that? I mean, things happen with roommates all the time.

And as a roommate, you have certain rights such as your half of the security deposit and maybe a month's notice (which can actually go by rather quickly), and in some ways is a soft deadline.

Lack of sleep can make people more forgetful. Are you getting enough sleep? Also, drugs and booze can make people more forgetful. If you are on meds run an I-net check to see if that is a possible side effect, and then talk to your doc about it. If you have been drinking or using illegal drugs, it's time to stop doing that. People who give up booze and illegal drugs eventually see an improvement in many areas of their lives afterwards, including in their memories. So:

- Get enough sleep
- Check out your meds
- No booze
- No illegal drugs

Hope your memory improves soon. Being homeless is a bummer.-- Been there, done that. At least things are better now with me. I'd like them to be better for you, too.

I do the same as AardvarkGoodSwimmer - I make sure to always lock my door. No matter what. If I sluff off even once I catch myself routinely forgetting again. As for the oven issue - my phone has many alarm slots. I have set different alarms each with unique ringers and title them - by their rings I know what they mean without looking after I get used to them. Like:

Vitamins

Dinner Time (to remind myself to make dinner on time)

Go to work

Walk dogs

(and many more)

If I don't set the alarms I would be vitamin deficient, chronically late for work, dogs would be bursting and my kids wining for food. Alarms save me. Maybe when you bake or cook (or any important task) on the stove set an alarm like I do?

Is there any way you can approach your room mate telling them you found a system to make you more safe to live with and letting you stay?

Hope things work out for you

I don't blame the roommate.

What does your lease say? Are you on the lease, renting from this roommate, or what? The roommate is valid with these serious concerns, but it's not always so easy to throw someone out if you are both on the lease.

Was there a written lease?

Whose name is on it?

Are you the lessee or sub-lessee?

Did you pay rent on time?

Did you read the lease to see what your renter's rights are?

LOOK. AT. YOUR. LEASE. OP.

This is both a legal and political situation. Yes, reading the lease is a good idea but please don't get stuck at this stage, as I might do.

Assume as a working principle that the lease gives you 30 days notice. Just say something like 'I'm going to need thirty days notice to find another place.' Be very matter-of-fact about it, don't be drawn into arguments. Have some general statements ready such as 'Hey, we all have the same rights.' What resonates and feels right to you. This is almost playing a poker hand, it really is.

The TAA lease [Texas Apartment Association] which is overwhelmingly in favor of the landlord, still gives a person a right to holdover. That is, if you give notice that you're going to move out by a certain date and things happen and you don't move out, you have a right to keep staying there. It's just spelled out in the lease that you just pay a certain amount for each day of 'holdover.' That's what I mean by it tending to be a soft deadline.

In general, you want to steer a middle course where you stand up for your rights without being a jerk. You still got to do what's good for you, too, right?

I do just that. And I am teaching my Aspie daughter to do the same: we put notes with things we know we are going to forget to do. But it is tricky, because you need to place the reminders in the right place, and train yourself to remember reading the reminders. If you forget to turn off the oven, buy a cooking clock. When it rings you know you need to turn off the oven. With the door you can use a note. Tape it in the inside of the door and read it everytime you are going out. And do it immediately before you have time to forget again. Hope it works.

Is this a one time thing or a repeat pattern?

If it's a one time thing, that's pretty pathetic. People make mistakes.

If you have a habit of doing it; it's within the room mates right. Leaving the door open increases the risk of being robbed, leaving the oven on wastes power and is a HUGE safety issue. I've seen fire fighters kick in doors for stoves left on.

Now that said, a land lord cannot kick you out overnight. Typically in the USA, if you do not have a written lease, you are operating on what is known as a month to month lease. Your land lord must give you 30 days written notice to leave.