Transitioning from Home to Campus

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Hi everyone-this is my first post. I was wondering if anyone has advice for trying to participate more on campus? I want so badly to have a "college experience" and have fun, but the thought of being on spending excess time on campus/trying to hang out with people after class/moving out of home to an apartment terrifies me beyond extent. I am paralyzed and unsure what to do-the past year I have been living at home, commuting to college but leaving to come back home as soon as my classes end that day (due to anxiety/overstimulation socially). This has left me isolated and about to give up on pushing myself to break out of my comfort zone. The fact is that I'm just extremely uncomfortable being on my own but I feel so bad for my poor parents who have to deal with my daily emotional meltdowns/depression.

Sorry for going on about it but I'm so happy to have found a place here online and hope maybe some of you understand/are experiencing something similar to this/have any advice?

-Jessica

y high school experience was the same as my college experience, that I, I didn't talk to anyone in HS or college. The few friends I did make in college weren't even students. There was a bar near the club where students and non students hanged out. The punks, of which I was one, also hanged out there. That's just the way it turned out with me. Maybe your experience will be different.

Hi there!
First, congrats on going to college! It's always a terrifying experience to step out of your comfort zone and do anything new.

When I first started at university, I didn't participate at all. I made no friends, and was too stressed and depressed to attempt to. It took me 2 years to talk to the people in my course, and I made only a few 'friends' (acquaintances really - but it made me feel less isolated).

I also did what you do - run off from campus back home the minute classes were over for the day (and sometimes before if I was very anxious). I found, in time, that I needed to find a place on campus that I could feel safe and secure. The campus library was one area - I had an area out of the way with little noise, disruption and barely anyone would come near that area. Another was a set of tables on the remote side of campus near some big trees.

It helps to feel that security and comfort on campus. Once you start finding a place like that, the anxiety and social pressure will start to ease (even if only slightly). Find a place and just relax - bring a favourite book or your MP3 player and chill out. Get used to the area and feel at home. That may solve one issue.

With making friends - it takes time. It always does. So stop pressuring yourself to do it this very second! If you can, ask a question (even if you know the answer) of a student in your class that seems to have familiar traits (quiet, shy, interested in subject matter, etc) - use that an ice breaker and learn their name. Next class, say Hi. Next class, sit down next to them and discuss subject material leaving the classroom. Simple steps, yes, but as science dictates - the simplest answer is usually the right one!

Hope this helps! Good luck studying!