The College Parties.

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I'm sitting in my dorm room right now trying to gather up my thoughts. I just came back from a party where everyone was drinking and smoking and having a great time. I'm the one guy who is sitting in one place without drinking or joining in on some kind of "smoke circle" that people are doing. There was too much smoke, my hoodie was destroyed because of the smell, and everything was overwhelming for me.

Whatever happened to the days when I could go to a party and have myself a non-alcoholic drink, no cigarette, and still have a good time?

i hate parties.

I went to 2 parties with 4 other people. 2 of them don't drink or smoke either. All of us left both parties after 5 minutes. College parties are just an excuse to get drunk. Now according to the guys that do drink it is fun if you know the other people there.

And it doesn't get much better after college. I've gone to a few just so that I could be seen there and typically will sneak out (there may be repercussions at work if I don't go and I don't like to expend the energy to fight the powers that be). I don't drink or do other things, so there isn't much of a draw for me...

I wouldn't go on a ranting spree on them; i think you just need to find the right people to hang out with (there are quite a few people who aren't the partying types at college). I enjoy more relaxed environments (few people at someone's house talking or watching something/playing video games).

As soon as I entered college, I observed that those who go on alcohol and drug intoxication sprees are more extraverted and sociable (read: loud, noticeable and noisy), thus the stereotype of college being equal with partying definitely showed.
I attended some of those events from my curiosity, learning that it is a pointless waste of time and resources. I didn't meet any interesting conversational partners.
Achieving popularity or high social status through becoming noticeable and popular in college via attending such parties is not my priority. My priority at college is studying. After a while, I have met some quieter college students who share mutual understandings of college life with me, and we engaged in intellectual conversations, which satisfied my (little) need for socialization.

When I go to college (IF rather), I would drink at those parties and not too much either (like a drink or two MAX). But they are also noisy, so it's not that I am overwhelmed by them, but I would have trouble hearing people talk. I'm not hard of hearing, but in such environments, I may come out as deaf.

It might take awhile, but there are definitely people at your college who enjoy getting together and not drinking. I'm not a fan of the drinking parties either--I get too distracted when there are tons of people crammed together and I freeze up even more than I normally do. I stopped even trying to attend those kinds of parties and slowly met people who enjoy things that are more my speed, like getting together to watch movies or play games (video or board). If you don't enjoy the drinking parties don't force yourself to do it.

I'm sure most here will agree that college parties are too loud and crowded and generally chaotic.

We could just blame that on autism. But really, loud music and parties doesn't make a whole lot of sense regardless. What is the reason for partying? Really it boils down to an excuse to get a bunch of people in one place to interact with them. Also perhaps because it is socially acceptable to do "crazy" things at a party since "hey man, it's a party". This is good news for people who like attention and acting idiotic as they can just pass it off as "being drunk at a party". This is also good for people who desire certain behavior out of others such as promiscuity. Now, none of this is particularly my cup of tea. However, even given this why would people turn up the music so damn loud that you can't hear another person talk?? How are you supposed to socialize without talking? If you want to bed a girl, isn't it in your advantage to be able to use the tool of conversation? If you want to have a "good time" with people, isn't it generally better to have the option of talking to them?

My theory is that most people are actually awkward and insecure about parties so they cover it up with music so they have limited interaction requirements. But then the party idea becomes beyond ridiculous. It's actually kind of pathetic.

When I am feeling social, I much prefer sitting around and talking with people without distractions. Because I actually want to interact with them. And all the NT's accuse me of being asocial, hah!

Well we call them socials here but I think it would depend on what one you went to. I mean a know a couple of people who don't drink or smoke and still have a good time. I think it's partly because they don't act uncomfortable about it.

Hmm. CAN those people actually hear each other over the 100+ decibel music? Apparently yes, otherwise I wouldn't be hearing lots and lots and lots of people talking (but not what they're saying) even with the music!

College made me hate both young people and alcohol. It was a bunch of children gathered in a day care center without any chain of responsibility.

I was always left out in college unable to make friends etc.

And when there was a party i delibrately used to go in, dance even though i dont know any steps
sometimes get molested i tried hard to fit in and made myself look like a joker

Now though i realise that i wont be able to fit in such circles
so i interact with the introvert and talk intellectual things to keep myself occupied.

I dont try to fit in anywhere actually
i have downgraded my dreams, ambitions and desires

Hi everyone,
I can understand how many of you feel about parties as noisy and smelly and unpleasant and in the end (most of the time) pointless for someone with a real interest in knowledge. People who like parties like those thrive on being together for the sake of being together - that is what being social means for them.

For me - being social means being together with someone for the purpose of doing something together, rather than simply being together. That includes a nice conversation about a topic we are both interested in, making something together (anything from paper cuts to a rocket), eating together, playing a game, doing sports. Another more simple way of being together is sitting (or standing or whatever your do) quietly in the same room without doing anything which requires our interaction. It is pleasurable to me simply to be besides someone, and I f.ex. like to read a book in a setting like that. I find this is one of the major differences between aspies and NTs (but you may all correct me if I'm wrong!) - the meaning and purpose of being together.

With this knowledge in mind, I search for places and times to do exactly that. I ask someone from my university class if they wanna meet up and study for an hour or two in the library or study hall, where we simply meet and work besides one another - and not together actively making conversation (as group work usually implies - at least from my experience).

So if any of you lack ideas to find friends, I recommend that you start out by determining what you would like to find friends to be together with ABOUT.

Good luck to all........