Constantly yelled at by teacher
If speaking to your parent(s) doesn't work:
Speak to your teacher in private, if possible. Wait until just before lunch/break, so all the other kids go out. If someone insists on waiting for you, and you don't want them to hear, just say you need some help on the homework or something similar, and you'll catch up with them in a bit.
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Female, 16
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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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Hi, first off, your teacher should not yell at you, certainly not on any kind of constant basis.
As a person on the Spectrum, you have a different set of skills, stronger than average in some areas, and less strong in others. Now, please don't brag about the areas in which you're stronger than average. Just be helpful if someone is interested in learning about these areas.
I agree with the person who said to go ahead and let your parents know what is going on.
And in good time, you can learn methods or 'workarounds' to organizing skills. And of course, it's probably more important to be a positive learner. And it's probably also more important to be an engaged and active learner.
It is a skill that can be improved upon, it's not a symptom of any disorder. That is a thought you will have to get used to, one that ends in one of the most important traits of all: Being able to take responsibility for your action and inaction. When you get a job, you can't leave everything a mess either. The same reason you're told to go tidy up your room.
does he have a valid reason to yell at you? (keep forgetting homework, losing papers etc.)
Otherwise I don't see what the problem is, I often sit in an "organized mess" when I work. Even though it seems like everything is out of order to anyone around me, I find what I need. In fact I start losing track of everything whenever I tidy up my workspace.
However, never blame a given trait on Asperger's, all of them can be improved with practice and observation. Never think that Asperger's is a hindrance on improving yourself or a "get out of society free" card. You WILL have to move away from what you feel is comfortable.
It is a skill that can be improved upon, it's not a symptom of any disorder. That is a thought you will have to get used to, one that ends in one of the most important traits of all: Being able to take responsibility for your action and inaction. When you get a job, you can't leave everything a mess either. The same reason you're told to go tidy up your room.
does he have a valid reason to yell at you? (keep forgetting homework, losing papers etc.)
Otherwise I don't see what the problem is, I often sit in an "organized mess" when I work. Even though it seems like everything is out of order to anyone around me, I find what I need. In fact I start losing track of everything whenever I tidy up my workspace.
However, never blame a given trait on Asperger's, all of them can be improved with practice and observation. Never think that Asperger's is a hindrance on improving yourself or a "get out of society free" card. You WILL have to move away from what you feel is comfortable.
Look up executive functioning and its relation to ASDs.
Disorganisation most certainly is associated with AS; it's a result of one's frontal lobes not functioning correctly, not "not trying hard enough".
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It is a skill that can be improved upon, it's not a symptom of any disorder. That is a thought you will have to get used to, one that ends in one of the most important traits of all: Being able to take responsibility for your action and inaction. When you get a job, you can't leave everything a mess either. The same reason you're told to go tidy up your room.
does he have a valid reason to yell at you? (keep forgetting homework, losing papers etc.)
Otherwise I don't see what the problem is, I often sit in an "organized mess" when I work. Even though it seems like everything is out of order to anyone around me, I find what I need. In fact I start losing track of everything whenever I tidy up my workspace.
However, never blame a given trait on Asperger's, all of them can be improved with practice and observation. Never think that Asperger's is a hindrance on improving yourself or a "get out of society free" card. You WILL have to move away from what you feel is comfortable.
Look up executive functioning and its relation to ASDs.
Disorganisation most certainly is associated with AS; it's a result of one's frontal lobes not functioning correctly, not "not trying hard enough".
I'm diagnosed myself, and I went through the same stuff as a kid. Trust me when I say everything can be practiced. There are lots of tools to better executive functioning. With time, hard work and patience all habits can be broken and substituted. What it took for me was an insatiable aspiration to become normal. There are many ways to improve disorganization and time management, and one way that I have found exceptionally effective, was to learn Scrum. While Scrum is mostly used for programming projects, many of the core tenets and processes can be integrated into daily life.
One of the core tenets is the use of "sprints", a set time period, where a part of the project is done. Along with a way to keep track of project or project parts (taskboard or a calendar for example). The strength of most aspergians and autists lie in repitition and habit, reinforcing habits that center around executive functioning will in the end make it better. The earlier you start, the better.
So, Neonhusky, if your problems lie in forgetting your homework, here are some tips:
1. Get a calendar book to take with you to school, make it a habit to place it on your desk first thing in the lesson, and write down any specifics on the homework and write an additional note on the day it should be done (eg. "English essay on US civil war, Deliver by e-mail to ms. Johnson"). Calendars also have space for phone numbers and email addresses in the back, so make sure to write down those that are needed (email addresses for all your teachers is a good start).
2. Make it a habit to take out your calendar first thing when you get home and write the most pressing homework down on post-its, place them whereever you do your homework.
3. Set aside a time slot for homework, say, right after school or after dinner. One to two hours each day should be enough. If you're done before the time slot, good for you, if not and the homework is very pressing, you continue.
4. The primary rule of homework is that any work that needs to be delivered first, has the highest priority. When done with the most pressing homework, you move onto the next and so on, again the calendar is an effective tool.
5. When doing homework on the computer, say an essay or a report, write down any additional things that need to be done at the end of the document. Write down the document filename (or the full file path if you wish) in the calendar with the homework note it relates to.
6. For handwritten homework, make it a habit to paperclip drafts and notes, add a post-it or paper slip that indicates what homeork it relates to and the date it needs to be delivered. A desk drawer for copies etc. can help you sort it up:
Homework to be done - contains any copies etc. relating to homework that needs to be done, but hasn't been started yet.
Homework in progress - All the homework that has been started goes in here.
Homework that is ready - All the homework that is ready to be delivered to the teacher.
The same thing can be done on the computer... Make a new folder for each, either locally, on a cloud service like dropbox or both (backup purposes if the computer decides to fry one day).
7. Add a relatable scribble (say, a triangle) or use a different colour ballpen for different homework, and draw the same scribble between the day the homeork as assigned and the day it's due. That gives you an immediate idea of the time span you have, and helps you plan the details accordingly. Additional notes can be written with the scribble or symbol to show a relation. The note for the english essay could have a triangle... For example:
"[triangle] Ask Ms. Johnson for feedback on section about slavery"
8. Make it a habit to review the current date in the calendar at the breakfast table or while waiting for the bus.
My dad, a CEO of a rapidly growing company, use these techniques to organize his work, and it works well, even if the workload gets really intense, following the 8 points above, the teacher won't at least yell at you for that reason...
If he yells at you for any other reason, he's a windbag. Take it up with your parents, and have them take it up with the school. If it persists, it may be a sign that he's trying to bully or intimidate you for some reason. While it may be hard to get into the habits above, it's really worth it later on when you get a job.
OK, I have executive dysfunction, and I can tell you do not have a clue what it's actually like. Your 8 points of advice are things you have to have good executive function to be able to do. Seriously, it's like saying 'you wanna get in shape? Run a marathon every day'.
I had a PDA. It was somewhat helpful, but I kept forgetting to charge it. If it hadn't been able to beep at me, it would not have helped at all, because it would have been forgotten in my pocket for months.
How are you supposed to 'make it a habit' if you can't do it consistently in the first place?
Again, forming new habits is considerably harder for ssomeone with executive dysfunction. In order to form a habit, I need consistent reminders for a lengthy period of time. And even then, I've been known to forget to do things I've been doing every day for years.
One of the biggest issues with executive dysfunction is prospective memory - remembering to remember. I can set aside a plan to do X at Y time, but it's a matter of chance whether something will happen to remind me close enough to Y time for me to actually act on it.
I do agree to focus on the most pressing homework. This is something I do and it really helps. It's a simple enough strategy that you can do this, assuming you remember to work on homework in the first place.
This assumes you know what you need to do. When I start writing an essay, I have only a vague idea of what it might look like once I'm finished. So I write it, and when I need more information, I stop and get it. If I tried to plan too much ahead I'd end up missing things.
Homework to be done - contains any copies etc. relating to homework that needs to be done, but hasn't been started yet.
Homework in progress - All the homework that has been started goes in here.
Homework that is ready - All the homework that is ready to be delivered to the teacher.
The same thing can be done on the computer... Make a new folder for each, either locally, on a cloud service like dropbox or both (backup purposes if the computer decides to fry one day).
Again, you say 'make it a habit' like you can just do that instead of habit formation being a matter of 25% effort and 75% random chance, like it is for me.
"[triangle] Ask Ms. Johnson for feedback on section about slavery"
I'm assuming this is to be written in the calendar that you're supposed to be able to remember to check and use?
You use that phrase way too much. Any advice on how to actually make a habit? Or is it something you think can be done by simply trying hard enough? (As if a guy with CP could run a marathon just by trying hard enough.)
geography
history
latin
philosophy (still don't understand why my parents enrolled me for philosophy lessons)
PE
I also have difficulties when writing essays, because I can't be coherent when writing one, and I tend to switch from a topic to another.
All throughout my school days I was yelled at by teachers. Later on you will find out that people who yell and lose their temper easily are displaying a weakness in their own character. I don't mean to sound patronising, but it is my own belief that any adult who yells at a child has serious problems themselves. I don't mean to criticise teachers in general as there must be lots who care about their students and do a good job. A teacher which yells however, probably resents the fact that they only made it as far in life as to repeat information in front of a class of kids and are probably yelling at any kid which they can see will go further in life than they ever will.
Not really, they could just be arrogant and overconfident teachers who literally think you're worth less than a fly.
Once certain people reach "invincible" status, they can turn into nasty monsters who will hunt after the weakest and break them down to nothing just for fun, because they can and will get away with it, because of their status.
Blame overconfidence, not underconfidence.
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