Advice from you please!

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Hello, I'm new here. My 9 yo DD has been diagnosed with Asperger's for 5 years now. It's been a long, exhausting road. We enrolled her in a great school that was extremely supportive, but in 3rd grade they go to a new building and stop inclusion classes, much of the support she'd had since pre-k, and pretty much throw ALL the kids to the wolves.

My DD needed support and was/is not going to get it. She has dysgraphia and ADHD as well & was getting sent to the office multiple times for refusing to write or going too slow. I finally picked her up after multiple phone calls & did not return her. I knew that she was getting stigmatized already (for tantruming, which had disappeared) which I felt would lead to bullying & other things.

Homeschooling has been good, but a battle. My daughter is a genius. She knows so much already, but learning has to be unstructured for her to participate & it is a fight every single day. She absolutely hates anything related to learning and will throw fits before, during & after. Nothing works. Her dad and I are divorced and he does not do his part. However, she's never been happier. She LOVES being home. I am very academic, loved school ( except for the years I was bullied ), and went to grad school. I read several books a week. So my experience is very different.

Does anyone have any advice as to getting her excited or just willing to learn? She's a very good girl as long as she's doing something she likes. I have taken away toys, privileges, threatened to put her back in school (the worst thing imaginable to her). It's like there is no answer. She's the most strong-willed individual I've ever met. I'm exhausted. I feel traumatized at times. I'm anxious all the time, because another fight is coming over gosh darn subtraction ( her teachers went through this too with math ). They had these marbles they did but it's just not effective at home.

I'm sure you all can imagine everything we've done and been through. I won't send her back to a place she hates to be stigmatized & bullied. I just can't get her to do much here.

I don't know what to do anymore and after 9 years, I'm tired.

Well, I'm 13 with Aspergers and I can say that being homeschooled is WAY better than public school for an Aspie.

However, I have a few things to say.

1.) If she is a genius, which I have no doubt she is, considering she has Aspergers, get an IQ test with a proffesional done. Any IQ above 140 is labeled genius.

2.) She doesn't like structured learning environments? Yet she has Asperger's? WHAT? I don't know how to go about that...

3.) If you do enroll her in school, get her an IEP. Individualized Education Plan. If you have Aspergers you are automatically able to get one and it is illegal for the school to refuse you one. The school refused me one, so my parents almost sued until they finally let me have one. Then the teachers and VP were being mean and discriminating towards me so we left the school.

4.) If you do decide to keep her in homeschool, which I believe is the best option, try Monarch. Google it.

Thank you so much for your reply:). It is so great to hear from someone who has been through it. We have done IEPs every step of the way - but at 3rd grade they move to a new building & force them to be very independent, which is why we are homeschooling her. She needed help she wasn't getting, among other things. We are starting to figure things out. Right now its freezing cold in IL, and options are very limited.

Do you know of any computer/ds/ipad apps that would be educational. & enjoyable for her?