Housemate started campaign of hate against me

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I really dont get on with my housemates. They do things like arrange group outings with me in the room and neglect to extend an invitation my way. Everytime I make a suggestion im often shot down. They tend to be happy to talk to me when they want something or other but they have an entire life they get on with independently of me. Theyre downright rude alot of the time.

The last straw is the fact that I suspect that at least one of my housemates has been telling his friends (of which there are many since he's a very very prominent student) how bizarre/weird/psychotic I am. I have no friends people take advantage of me and generally ive noticed that theyre very cagey around me and the same signs extend from their immediate inner circle right through to people on my course who are also known to my housemates.

Were nearing the end of term and thankfully ive done incredibly well all year so they havent managed to ruin my resolve to succeed. However I have to go back to this environment next year. Naturally I wont be living with them, but the backstabbing will doubtless continue. What do I do?

anyone?

the only time I was in that situation was when my sister was still living at home and she had a few friends living with her here also.. and they would do stuff like this... it never really stopped until they all moved out.

Sorry.. wish I could be more helpful..

I'm actually in the same situation with one of my roommates(3 last semester(I have 6).Stop giving a crap about them and stop doing them favors.I tried being nice with my douche roomate and alll he did was bum things off of me.Hell, he would bum w**d off of me, get high and make fun of me.Stay away from these kind of people.Join a university club if you want to make friends.

It seems like the most logical thing to do is to stay away from them. They shouldn't continue to bother you and if they do then they have issues. It really confuses me when people seem obsessed with hurting others.
However, maybe you should consider trying to make an effort to be nice to them? (not that they deserve it obviously!) Just start doing nice things for them until you move out, like tidying!(An excellent skill of most aspies!) Their guilt will kick in soon if they start to realise you are kind!

Eugh Yes I know the feeling. I've actually transfered halls in my uni because the flatmates didn't get on with me. I moved into my new place a month or so ago. I feel a little more isolated where I am since my new flatmates have had a long time to bond and get to know each other and I';ve just turned up now... But I kinda like being on my own and quietly getting on with my work (they're all first years anyway, whereas I'm 23, in my second year) so I feel they're a little bit young and immature for me to really have a lot in common with them.

But my previous flatmates were great when I first met them... then I guess they pick out vulnerabilities in people. One boy (26 years of age for goodness sake... a PhD student... you would think would know better) but he took another flatmates potato out of the fridge and put it in MY cupboard (I also had a potato which I baked)... this girl then comes to me accusing me to taking her potato and I said I did not take it... I go to open my cupboard to prove to her (I keep my potatos in the cupboard... she keeps them in the fridge) and I knew I had none in there because I ate mine the night before... low and behold... a potato sat on the shelf in my cupboard... I told her I had not put it there.... but alas she didn't believe me and became really distant from me and took a disliking to me.

I spent a lot of time complaining about the mess in the kitchen we had to share, that annoyed me so much.. 3 times I actually took it upon myself to clean the whole kitchen cause I couldn't live in that mess (it was getting to the point where I couldnt cook.. I feel disgusted if I have to prepare food in other peoples' mess... it just makes me feel sick).

So I wrote a post it note on to the fridge just kindly saying 'could we all make a collective effort to keep the kitchen clean please'

And this horrible boy wrote on it 'WTF'

I couldn't take it any longer.

Actually the kitchen is bad where I am now too... but I've got myself my own kettle, my own slow cooker etc etc and I prepare my meals in my room. I'm going into catered accommodation next year which will be much better.

It's difficult to get on with flatmates... like I said, I think people just pick up on others' vulnerabilities. If you can just avoid them.. ignore their immature banter and get on with what you need to get on with, you'll get by. It's upsetting, I know, but if that's the way they want to behave then let them get on with it... they can't be happy people..

- Charlie

I have never been in this type of living situation as I never went to university and lived on campus. My thoughts are these:

1) You could request to move
2) You could walk around with headphones and tune them out and consider them totally irrelevant to your life, as long as they don't do anything to sabotage your studies or hurt you in any way (theft, abuse, bullying)
3) You could confront any one of them and ask them why the continue to be so rude to you and exclude you (but you have to be willing to accept the truth as they see it through their eyes, as hurtful as it may be to hear)

Hope this helps!

Altough I never been into a university setting, I'm sorry to hear that your housemates have given you a hard time and not treating you as an equal as most college and university students should. The person who made very untrue assumptions to his friends about who you are has not taken the time to understand your disability and may have problems and insecurities with himself.

There are three options to resolve this matter:

1. Request to move into another dorm.
2. Assertively confront one of them, speak your mind, and ask them reasonably why they continue to be jerks and exclude you in their conversations and group activities, and they might take you more seriously (but you're going to have to be willing to accept the truth from their point of view, as hurtful as it appears to hear from them).
3. File a complaint to have this problem fairly resolved in your favor.

Last edited by younginflavor18 on 05 Apr 2013, 7:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

Beat his ass?

I don't think fighting one of the housemates would resolve this problem because he'll be in the wrong too and get himself kicked out of his university if one of the campus security guards witness them fighting.

Does your college allow you to have your own dorm room with proper documentation?

Mine did. Due to my Asperger's/ADD/bipolar II mix, my psychiatrist and my parents filed paperwork stating that it would be less stressful - and much better - for me if I got my own room. My request was granted.

I don't know how your college works, but maybe this is worth checking out.

definitely try that

I alienated myself from my roommates but I feel alright about it. By any measure they are lazy immature if not underdeveloped and used to just let the place go to s**t before i got angry and mean at them. it works for them because they only hangout among-st themselves therefore never risk scrutiny from others who are human beings. The funny thing is one of them is having some of his friends who by all account never lived or know how they live I wish i could be around to see how they start to view their friends, if they remain friends afterwards.

I would have but i go to the university of iowa which is a proverbial shopping mall, everybody comes to payout inexchange for a degree without doing any real work themselves. In a way i suppose college has become a service industry not a institution of higher learning. dorms would have made me miserable , Small cramped, overpriced food of low quality and full of people who couldn't care less. I honestly believe had I don better in high school I would have maybe gone to a better school, like UofWashington, or if the stars had been aligned r, an Ivy League school, where the living quarters are better and everyone is serious about school.