Perfectionism and Grades

Post Reply New Topic

As a kid, I was never allowed to make anything below a B. Heck, I wasn't allowed to make even a B in English. I only made two Cs in high school (algebra II and geometry), and I got into a load of trouble for those.

It wasn't just my parents making those rules, though. Even as they became more accepting of me receiving Bs on my report cards, I found that I could never accept Bs in anything except math (which is hard for me).

I'm in college now, and have a 3.6 GPA, but I made 3 Cs and several Bs. I was only able accept the three Bs I got in math courses - the other Bs and the three Cs (American Sign Language II, Intro to ABA, Working with Parents and Professionals) bother me (mostly the Cs, because I was NEVER allowed to make those).

I have never made a D or F in my life.

My parents now tell me that I am "too hard on myself". I agree, but at the same time, it's ironic that they say that.

What I'm meaning to ask is, are any of you "grade perfectionists"?

I remember sobbing my heart out because I got a C on a math test... In 3rd grade. And then sobbing my heart out again because of a C I got on a paper (the teacher lets us re-write them, though.) Writing is just not my forte.

3.6 GPA is really good!

Well... personally, I used to be a perfectionist when I was in middle school.
Not only I asked myself for A's, I also fight for the class rank.
I was constantly 3rd in Chemistry, and usually 1st in biology.

But then, then came the draw back-- I was too stressed.

And you probably know... people with AS or other types of autism are usually more vulnerable to psychiatric disorders.

So, I personally wouldn't want to see the same thing happen on other people.

Not at all.

I'm quite the perfectionist when it comes to grades, but it's in a different way than with most people, I'd imagine. I strive for "A"s and only "A"s, but I have to live with the fact that I have NVLD and will inevitably get low scores on certain types of exams. Due to my very scattered skills, I had to learn early on that I'll never be "the best" at things that require math and visual-spatial abilities. It's very hard being a perfectionist but not being able to overcome something my brain actually lacks. I just have to keep trying and trying and telling myself how much I've accomplished while forever battling inner feelings of inadequacy.

All my life, I believed that anything less than an A is a failure. I don't really know where the idea came from. I guess it was to prove myself against bullies who knew there was something odd about me, like if I get all A's, then I'm not a "crazy ret*d". I still hold this belief about A's. I never really failed anything. Once in high school, I got a 65 because I messed up the two concepts the test was based on, and I ended up crying buckets. The teacher was telling me that "it's only a grade", but it felt terrible.

Always shoot for a perfect score, no matter what the assignment, and regardless of whether its a professional or academic setting. Even if you don't do that well in the end, you'll be light years ahead of someone who only shoots for a C, or simply settles for average performance

I hate it when people say that it's "only" a grade. Grades mean a lot!

I'm not a perfectionist abou grades. I am a perfectionist when it comes to placing objects and such, but I'm not about grades.
Most of my grades are Ds. I have some Cs and Bs but no A.
I am ok with my grades.

Whatever... They don't for me.
Some of you here may consider me "one of those kids that doesn't like school because she's stupid" but that's not the reason.
I've never been able to conform to school system, in any way.
Sitting down for hours to listen to someone speaking it's the worst way for me to learn.
Even when I take my ADHD med it's hard for me to study.
I don't hate school.
I just don't like it because it's difficult for me to learn in school.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. :<

Grades don't mean anything to me. Particularly with writing papers, it's more about the professor than it is about the paper. With math, I care a bit more because I'm much better at it and it's less subjective, but I still don't really care that much.

I'm not offended, don't worry.

I am a perfectionist in a way; however, this often means I fail completely at the task because I don't believe in my ability to carry out perfectly.

I used to be quite perfectionist about grades, and no matter what grade I'd got I'd be looking to go one or two higher. I ended up doing very well in secondary school. But when it came to university and the system was different and the courses I took were difficult, I didn't do as well and got rather discouraged at the beginning. Now whilst I still aim for good grades I'm not overly obsessed with them. I realise that there's more to university/college/school than good grades and now believe that people should not put too much emphasis on them (it's easy for people to as it's easy to measure). I know people who are worse academically than I am or worse than average and yet I can see them being very successful in the future, as they have so many other things going for them.

Having all A's as a goal is not rational because it depends on things outside of your control--You cannot help the fact that your brain simply isn't wired for certain tasks.

A rational goal is to do your best with what you have--Most times that might result in an A, but other times that might result in a lower mark. However, as long as you do your best (something completely within your control), you will ALWAYS reach your goal.

This is exactly like me. I think my high academic performance has been an attempt to redeem myself. There's a psychological human phenomenon called "compensation"; when we are perceived by others as lacking in something, we tend to work extra hard on a certain skill in order to try to reach the areas of life that others think are inaccessible to us. I've always thought that my extreme difficulties with socializing made me destined to do well in school because I could just spend my entire time studying instead of going to parties, meeting friends, etc. I have failed tests in high school, though, even with this mindset, because I did stuggle in math somewhat. I tried to compensate for this, too, by giving myself an abnormal amount of practice in math, such as joining math clubs and contests. I did get better at math and spatial stuff as a result of pushing myself to the maximum in high school.

Right now, in university, I'm taking mostly what I'm good at, and I won't settle for anything other than an A or an A+. I actually have an A+ average and don't have any grades that are lower than an A right now, but what I've done up until now is taking a slightly reduced course load (3-4 full-year courses per year) while studying my butt off and sometimes also holding down a part-time job. To the OP, we actually share academic interests (ABA, American Sign Language). I managed to get an A in American Sign Language, but in order to get this grade, I spent several hours right after each class revising the material, as well as beginning to study for every test at least one week in advance, getting supplemental materials (i.e. dictionaries) from the library, and getting extra ASL practice by participating in signing groups, ASL retreat, etc. I get very focused on my studies and always aim for perfection in my expected level of knowledge. This means I cut off pretty much any social life that I have, telling my friends that I am busy and only attending perhaps one purely social event per semester. I also only use the Internet for school-related research, email, or checking grades while taking classes, limiting recreational internet use (mostly WP) to 30 minutes a week. I do not watch TV, play video games, etc. But my dedication to grades may also stem from the fact that I seem to be lot more conformist than other people on this forum. I fully acknowledge this in myself, although I don't think a reasonable degree of conformity in some aspects of your life is a bad thing.