My Sister is Horrible at Being Funny (Bad Thing for School)

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I swear it, my sister is not going to do so well once she gets into high school. It's a shame she's only going to be in the same school with me for a year, since I'm going to be a senior. Anyway, she has high functioning autism, though it's not as high as mine. Anyway, I think she is really going to have a horrible time making friends without my help--after I graduate--because she is horrible at being funny. There's no way she is going to be able to have new friends without my help if she is not funny. Being funny is a way to make friends after all, so my sister thinks it's important for her to be funny (she doesn't have very many friends; they're mostly hanging out with her because they're told to, sad to say).
Here's an example of what I mean: just this evening, I was playing with her puppy. She found that her puppy was lying down on her back and thrashing around, trying to get my hand. We tend to joke around saying that she's dead when she's on her back. We usually joke around by simply saying that she's dead (it's not all that bad because we all know that she really is alive and it's just a pun for the whole belly up thing), but my sister joked asking if I killed her puppy with either a knife or a gun. Now that is NOT funny in any level! I know she was trying to be funny and all, but that seriously made me sound like I'm homicidal. Homicidal jokes are one of the worst jokes to tell (along with racial and religious jokes, and other horrible jokes). You have no idea how offended I felt when my sister made such a joke. (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating my offended feeling a bit with that emoticon).
I keep on telling her that one of the best ways to be funny is to make impressions of cartoon characters in particularly parts in shows or movies. Okay, I guess she has done one, but it's not all too funny (I can't remember how it goes and who there characters are, but her impression of the character isn't all too funny). Okay, everybody has their own thoughts on what's funny, but I am simply saying that my sister just isn't all that funny... I can't help but wonder if I should even try to do something about it, I mean, I told her to be funny the way I am (which is insanely warped and almost always easy to make people laugh), but the problem with that is my sister doesn't really follow people's advice and she gives up too easily all the time. I am willing to let my sister hang out with me and my friends when we get back to school, but I think she should just simply follow us around and be quiet unless we talk about school work and other stuff that doesn't involve humor...the child's hopeless...not to mention she's got me feeling hopeless...

Hey, it's okay. I was a lot like your sister in high school - I'm a bit more profound on the spectrum than Asperger's or HFA - , and almost got suspended for some jokes I made about inappropriate topics. Even in a special ed setting. Trust me, this went far beyond homicidal jokes and I was in a milieu where racial jokes were common (inner city, multicultural high school where people had ethnically based fights sometimes). Like sometimes at university I would make jokes about Saddam Hussein because I thought they were on the same level as a "white rapper" joke. Hey, racial humor is racial humor, right?

Not everyone has a gauge of these things. Imagine, if your sister were a colorblind person and you got offended because she mistook the color of something. It is the same idea. You know it is her words, not your words. I understand it is hard to cope with someone who is like us, more profound, and sometimes I feel really guilty about these things too, being someone who is more profoundly affected.

My NT brother still doesn't talk to me (I don't live with my fam), but I was able to make friends who accepted me for the way I am when I went to other spaces. This happened after age 21 as opposed to at school or university - it is different for different people. For me it was joining the Wiccan spiritual path that really helped, as we had a common cultural context in which to discuss things. Now I am not suggesting that your sister join any religious group but maybe find some things she is interested in.

Not everyone has the same sense of humor. Not everyone - is capable of having the same sense of humor, but saying that someone should 'be quiet' isn't cool. Come on, dude. You do not have to 'white knight' which means, speaking for someone, instead of letting them speak about topics on their own. I know it sounds cheesy but it will get better - for your sister, and for yourself. She will be fine. I also 'give up easily' but who is to say, that giving up is a bad thing? She probably 'gives up easily' because 'being like you' is about as easy for her, as walking is for a quadriplegic.

Give your sister a break, and maybe introduce her to this site or other resources. Find out - what is she interested in? What are her favorite TV shows? Maybe suggest a list of forums where she can hang out and chat about topics she likes. Autistic folks tend to make friends through common interests frequently, as I said I made friends through joining a Wiccan group. I hear ya about being a teen being hard. Trust me as hard as it is for you, it is hard for your sister too. I feel like an azz for losing my brother because of my "bad" behavior. But how can you know it is "bad"? This is a core deficiency for many folks with autism. It is like judging someone for not hearing you, because they are deaf.

I know it's not a cool idea to have my sister quiet almost all the time if she hung out with me and my friends. I just don't want to be hated if people start hating on my sister (I'd probably get mixed reactions if I kept her quiet most of the time too...) but I just seriously don't want people to say a bunch of crud about me just because I'm related to someone who isn't good at being funny. Although I don't mind it too much (unless someone was to tell me about it) I don't really mind too much if people make weirded out looks at me when I'm being warped and all, but I think things would be horrible if people were to make hateful stares at my sister.
I wouldn't blame anyone if they were to say that I am doubting my sister, because there's no doubt I am...I'm always doubting on my sister because of the way she is...I know she can't help it since she has a lot of health issues and takes a lot of medications and all, but I really can't help but doubt on her for many things... It's a sad thing, I know, but I really feel that I don't have any confidence in my sister's social life: I love her very much, but I feel really helpless about this... I know it's not my place to worry about any of that, but she's going to be in my school next month, and I've gotta make sure she's doing alright at school...

My friend, I definitely hear you that it is tough to have a sibling who is different, because there are a lot of cruel people out there. If you 'don't want people to say a bunch of crud' - then when they say that bunch of crud, why not use that as a learning opportunity? An educational opportunity? If they continue to be bullies, then they have shown their true colors. It can be hard being diplomatic with them. Also, let your sister speak up for herself.

Your profile says you are 18 years old. At age 18, we are coming in to our intellectual and occupational powers. Define yourself by what you do, not by your 'reputation'. As I said I was a lot like your sister growing up - a more profound autistic. I made a name for myself with things that I did, not how I acted or who my friends / relatives were. An ancient saying was 'you are your deeds'.

People make hateful stares at your sister when you're not there. But you cannot defend her in every situation. I hear that you seek to protect her from unkind people in the world but she is just another person like you. Just another human being. People make hateful stares at people for being LGBT, a different race, deaf, or blind. Be a person that she can talk to in case that happens, and be a resource - but to be a resource, you must first let go of fears and let her be who she is around anyone.

I'll have to remember that, I suppose. But I haven't mentioned what my sister does when stuff like that happens. She's mostly verbally abusive when it comes to that, but she also tends to be physically abusive. Last year, she was literally suspended from school for yelling at a teacher and stuff. That's how bad she is there.

I'm the same way. Gotten suspended. Gotten police harassment as an adult having meltdowns while going home from work. Used to beat my head against the wall every day until I passed out, actually until I was around 26 and I also facepunch in public. Like I hit my face and pull out bunches of hair - so I'm probably worse than your sister. Just ignore her with the yelling but man you gotta step up the game on advocacy because she is your friggin sister.

"How bad she is?" We've established that she's more profoundly affected. Look. You gotta stand up for your sister. Especially if you are on the spectrum too because 'there but for the grace of God go I'.