Poor mental health is going to cost me an entire grade

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Over the christmas holidays I was suicidal for much of the time, nt only that ive documented my struggles with OCD and how I had to move house at the drop of a hat to avoid a total nervous breakdown due to the state of my old place. Ive managed by a miracle to get my coursework in however. I stayed up all day and all night in order to get the last piece done - in fact over the last week ive had to do this 3-4 nights in order to get on top of the work and get it handed in.

My organisation is very poor however so I ended up missing orchestral practise as I didnt have the mental energy to deal with the ocd issues im STILL battling with (now theyre mainly related to magical thinking go figure) coursework and the fact that im struggling to look after myself. I couldnt keep on top of it all... my coursework is of a low styandard in fact because of the strain im under.

I just saw an email detailoing that anyone missing practise on the 9th will be failed. I dont have any friends on my course who'll text me to remind me that practise is on. What ive seen is that generally someone in my position would be supported by students in minor but extremely helpful ways. I dont have anyone to help me in that way... im totally alone.

I cant describe the above issues as theres no evidence other than a letter frm the psych who gave me the impromptu evlauation describing OCD symptoms. I dont know what to do. Ive given everything I have. I suffered through yesterday with my sensory isssues driving me insane. By the time I got home I couldnt walk in a straight line and was virtually passing out from exhaustion.

What do I do... ive worked so hard and now my mental health is letting me down AGAIN. Arrgrggggh

I completely relate because I am going through the same thing. Wasn't actively suicidal but was really struggling and battling suicidal thoughts and temptations. Still struggling now and am going to miss a deadline that I actually got extended because of it. The college has been really supportive so far so hopefully I can work something out with them. Is there no supportive network at the course you are doing? No one you can go to?

No.. I have no official diagnosis for anything either... yet anyway

Show up at the profs office, talk about what you have been going through. It work miracles during those semesters that life is just bad during.

The head prof hates my guts I greeted the head lecturer the other day with "Happy new year" and he didnt even look up - he always seems to want to do anything but talk to me - and this is unique to me as he has time for other students. This same lecturer allowed me to labout under the mistaken belief that I could complete the year's coursework from home and it would be ok. I submitted all the work and when it came time to receive marks I found noone had received any of my work and he wouldnt support me at all in getting lecturers to mark the years worth of coursework i'd done. I'd met with him during the year and he knew that I was working from home and at no point was I told that the university wouldnt allow me to do this.

I was told by the administration officer that this was the case and when I consulted with him he suddenly decided to tell me about the uni's policies regarding long distance learning.

I doubt he'll give a toss.

When you say head professor, do you mean the teacher, or the department chair?

Generally the chain goes Professor>department head>dean of the college>dean of students.

I would suggest the following.

Document the instances of bias against you, plus gather any documentation of your OCD.

Set up two meetings. One with the next higher up that doesn't have a bias to discuss those issues and also with the Disability office. Show them your OCD stuff and they may be able to give you provisional accommodations and point you in the direction to get a real diagnosis.

Ah I forget that I have to explain my situation to people. Im going to be getting a dx on the 23rd. From experience ther worst thing you ccan do is to try and go over someone;s head in an organisation. Theyll only stick together as happened when I first raised this. I want to become a lecturer when I leave uni so this is going to be a problem I imagine.

Professors are rarely our friends.

If you're a favorite, they can help you, and they will.

However, I wouldn't jump to the opposite conclusion without solid proof.

If you're a "magical thinker," then you're capable of thoughts that escape the envelope of the mundane.

How much sleep do you get on average, every night?

Start calculating it for me, and let's see if we can improve your mental health.

Hope it helps you. I am not sure, but I thinking "missing a grade" means being forced to repeat one year in school/college or to stay an additional year in school.

I was forced to do so as well in "lower high school" with 13. It was not all total to my disadvantage. So like most here, school was always very stressfull to me. When I repeated one year, it was just like a break for me...in most subjects I had already heard everything and so could relax and needed less learning, I only needed to repeat what I learned anyway. So I could focus on the two subjects, that leaded me to fail. In the end, I think why I failed that year of class before, was because around that year, my problems really became obvious. All of my former classmates got into puberty, changed interests, ... and with that I lost more and more connection and friendship to classmates, which really stressed me, additional to the typical school stress.

So repeating the class brought me many benefits:

From the school stuff it was like a type of "sabbatical holiday". Focusing on two subjects gave me opportunity to spend more time relaxing.

As well that it was not that bad, that I got into a class that was one year younger, because of my lesser maturing due to my autism. When they had their puberty issues, I already had some experiences from my former class, so I still was a bit weird, but managed to fit in at least a bit better.

Repeating one year of class out of stress issues, can help you to do better during the next years, because of you being able to gather ressources/energy instead of being stressed out. So maybe I repeated a year when I was 13, still I managed to acchieve engineer school later. I dont know, if I could have done so, without that "sabbatical year".

I was totally down in the beginning, but looking at the situation afterwards, I think I benefitted from it. Hope that might help you, to see that a bit less stressfull.

I won once with a professor; had to go to the academic standards committee.

You said you're getting dx-ed on the 23rd? Who is who is doing it? Can they go to bat for you in some way? Issue another letter saying that you're tired, struggling, etc. Also, at universities, there should some kind of department/group to support people with special needs/disabilities - go to them, with your letter and find someone there with power. Student union, even?
Also, maybe find another prof in the department who seems nice (but doesn't teach you) and say that you (do all this in confidence) need to know what the next course of action would be against SOMEONE - who do you go to next? The dean? They should know.
(Set a reminder on your phone?)
Hope it goes okay.