Just how Unusual am I?

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Hey everyone Aspertastic here..

Sometimes I feel I am in kind of a limbo world between being an NT and a genuine bonafide Aspie. I sometimes feel a bit out of place on this forum, especially in the social skills section. The topics are all real and valid, but sometimes they seem a bit narrow and highly particulary... anyway let me share my situation.

I am a 1L Law student at a local Law school. While not Law review material, I have managed to hold my own with the academics, partly with the help of my father, an established attorney in town. I have always struggled making friends compared to "NTs" as it were, and it made me feel quite lonely and sad, and large self- esteem blow.

But I never didn't want to, and always felt I was emotionally attuned and everything, but just could not find the right " group" that really liked me and I liked them and shared my interests. It was frustrating also, because a lot of the aspie groups I went to, just consited of people who were really into anime and video games and not a ton else. I just wanted people I really liked being around which is basically what friends are.

I am pretty well liked at the law school, and regularly have friendly conversations with my classmates and go to bar reviews and happy hours at bars with them ( on weekends of course.)

Just how unusual am I in my current life situation?

I also find I like to "forget" about the world of asd and autism and just focus on other topcis that genuinely interest me. Sometimes I do feel so sad and discouraged even reading things like WP or books on autism, because it reminds me that I technically am "defective" and have comparably speaking had a much tougher time with life in general than the average human being. Reading it almost feels like however successful I have been at overcoming some challenges, I remain tethered to them all the same.

Also, I dislike being referred to as an "asspie" and dislike the "NT" "Aspie" disctintion as if we are two seperate species. I myself find much overlap and partly I just dislike identity politics. I would much rather be referred to and considered a human being with my own ideas and idiosyncrasies, same as anyone else ( though with a specific difference/disability whatever..)

For the record I believe I am rare as an aspergers law student. I think its a virtually all "NT" environment and only one person do I even suspect has an actual diagnosis.

Can anyone identify or agree with me or comment on my thoughts?

Please could someone tell me? I am so desperate to know!! !! !

First of all, I do agree that the labels of "aspie" and "NT" may make us seem like different species, but I personally use them because it's easier than saying "the normal people" or "people with Asperger's"... yet not to say that we're like aliens to one another.

I am also borderline on the spectrum, where I don't seem to fit in with either the "aspie" or "NT" group. And yes, it can be very frustrating. However... I've learned that this "limbo" as you've described it, is where I belong, in spite of how lonely it can be. I've found my purpose... to be sort of a middle person for aspies and NT's, so I'm currently working on a documentary to show the lives of aspies to help others understand them, while using my "NT" social skills to get that documentary where it needs to go.

So, I don't think your life situation is unusual. Unique, maybe, but there are other borderline aspies I know who have an equally hard time as you and I. Just keep looking for a purpose, and know that you don't have to fit into a particular group to be happy.

You are not alone. I don't know how unusual you are, but there are Aspies whose special interest is academic, and who are successful in their area of interest. I think it may be easier when you're in school socially, people have a lot in common in the same school and may try to behave decently toward each other. Later, when you're trying to balance a lot of different things, the social piece can be rough. But maybe will be ok for you.

I get very down sometimes, about being labeled, when having ASD is not what I see as the most important aspect of who I am, but I suppose a lot of who we are is who we are to ourselves: defective, or able to push through obstacles and be strong and not look back just because of being a big lost over some social conventions. And having a label which not everyone sees.

It isn't probably productive to dwell too much on being unusual. Much better to think about other things. Try not to spend too much time on this.

I can def understand were your coming form. I was told "You are right on the line between AS and NT."