Shutting down at college?

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When I go to college, I feel like I shut down. When it isn't involved with a required class assignment, I don't want to look at anyone or talk to anyone, I just focus on getting an education. I get good grades, but I find being there extremely overwhelming and generally feel very anxious and ill at ease. The difficulty is that due to this behavior I don't know anyone there, even after being there for 7 weeks I still don't know any of my classmate's names. I would like to get out and make some friends, this is the biggest opportunity for socializing I have, as I live in a rather remote area and have a long commute to school and don't go out much otherwise. It's not that I want to turn into a party animal, I'm generally quite content on my own, but it would be nice to meet some people. Does anyone else have difficulties with feeling overwhelmed and unsociable at college?

Hey there -

I'm super new to this forum so I don't know if I'm doing this the right way (I just now registered actually) but I have the exact same issues you do (except that I don't really want to meet new people and make friends because I'm scared of people). I also never look at anyone and just walk around with my head down and earphones in my ear to avoid parts of conversations of others flooding me (and to avoid anyone trying to talk to me). So yeah, focusing on the matter at hand and the professor is the only way for me to make it through my classes otherwise I wouldn't be able to deal with everything crashing down on me at college. I feel really awkward and unsociable there most of the time, too.
I'm not sure what to do to meet new people but my sister (an NT) once told me to try to interact with others about the class and from thereon change to other topics, I don't know.
I hope I could help you a bit, though I don't think I did...

It's helpful to know I'm not the only one ! I usually hole up in the library between classes, the bright side of being unsociable is you can get a lot of studying done. I feel afraid of people, too. In my case, I notice that the less I go out, the more "feral" I become and the longer it takes me to acclimatize to being in an area with tons of people. Especially on breaks, I can go weeks at a time not leaving the house and socializing only with my family, so it's a bit like a people avalanche going back to school! Your sister's advice is good, but I generally don't have any luck with trying to start conversations unless I'm in a class where both I and the other students are interested enough in the topic being taught to talk about that.

I would actually say it's a good idea to focus on grades. As long as you're friendly to people who want to socialize with you, I don't see any problem with wanting to study and get your degree.

I was that in the past. After few group project, few of the classmate found that I did the things well and willing to help other, and a (temporary) friendship built.

Maybe that can help. Engaging in group projects, as long as it is a small group, consisting of maybe two or three other students.
Other than that I can fully understand your feeling of being buried under an avalanche of people especially after only being around your family for some time. That's why my therapist once told me to socialize with others during breaks so I wouldn't be too overwhelmed when I returned to school/college.

For me, after few year in post-secondary study with quite a lot of group project, I can handle well for small group (e.g. 2-3 people), but in a large group (e.g. 5-6 people), I talk much less. But there one group project having 5 people that I feel comfortable, but at least 2 other member looks like having certain degree of ASD, and I know everyone petty well.

Thanks for all the responses!

kraftiekortie, my trouble is finding people who want to socialize with me. I don't think I come across as very friendly, some days I am pretty good at making small talk with classmates, and others I can't even look at them for some reason.

KTLLo, I usually do fairly well with group projects with few people, too, mainly because we have a purpose in mind, but in some ways those are difficult because I usually end up getting more than my share of work, which doesn't exactly nurture friendly feelings.

CharlotteEstevez, I think that is a good idea. I know the longer I stay in my house the harder it is to leave it. Probably just going to the store or other public things when opportunities arise would be good for crowd desensitization.

That's exactly what I try to do!
Even though it's pretty damn hard, I actually often try to take the bus. Sometimes, I only manage to get to the bus stop before practically running back home but on other days, I manage to actually take the bus for a couple of stops and then I can be proud of myself for the day. Plus that way I don't necessarily have to talk to anyone. But as I said, it's really hard because there might be lots of people there.

Yeah I don't talk to anyone at school. Oh well, forever alone.

I have a lot of the same problems too.

Good for you for going out and doing that, I know how scary it can be! I used to take the bus. I found it nerve racking at first, but I actually kind of liked it after I got used to taking it everyday. Luckily it never got very crowded, public transport isn't too popular here. There were lots of other quirky folks so I didn't feel like I stuck out much, and there was a really cute guy on there one time, I just didn't know what to say to him when he talked to me . Unfortunately, I moved and where I live now, the only way around is in a car. I liked the quiet time to sit and look at the scenery on the bus, though, and I didn't get quite as overwhelmed when I had everyday exposure.

Aw, shucks. That's too bad because it sounds as though it was a really good way for you to socialize without actually having to interact with anybody. Mh, maybe you could just stroll through a small (!) mall if there is one where you live. That way you can always leave the building if it gets too crowded and you are around people for some time.

Hmm, I have a nice shopping center with a thrift store and a Target not to far. Its kind of a mall for this area , I guess the main point is to go where the people are. Thanks for all your helpful suggestions!

Sounds like a plan. & You're very welcome!