How do you deal with a roommate from a foreign country?

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I have roommate that is from Nigeria, and I'm an American. He actually is in a different room in the apartment. He and I both go to a private religious university in the United States (we both belong to the religion that the school is affiliated with). Incidentally, I'm only taking one class online and working on campus. In the past, I've had a harder time connecting with roommates that were from foreign countries. Sometimes I connect better with my American roommates. Another worry I have is because I'm white, I might be accused of being racist, when I don't act friendly.

Having Asperger's makes it even harder, because not only do I not understand somethings with my culture, I understand his culture even less. Today, I said something that offended him. How do I state for instance that something makes me uncomfortable, or something nicer without offending him, because he might find that thing to be ok in his culture.

Just tell him why you're offended. How do you know you offended him? Most Nigerian students tend to be reasonable people. You are also a smart person. Perhaps you could have a dialogue with him?

If you're really concerned about coming across as a racist, come out to him as an Aspie and tell him what that means. Write yourself a script. Read through it and edit it. Practice saying it.

If there's something he does that's making you uncomfortable, tell him directly "it makes me uncomfortable when," and if it's related you Asperger's add a "probably because."

If you want to learn about his culture, you're probably going to have to engage in small talk. Ask if he has any brothers or sisters. Ask what they do. Ask him what he thinks is really different about living in America. Ask him about college in Nigeria, and how it compares to here. Ask him why he wanted to study here. Ask him how his classes are going. Ask him what his major is. Ask him if he's noticed any pretty girls yet. Ask him what he misses most about home.

If you both play video games, you could bond over that.

What exactly did he do that made you uncomfortable, and how did you offend him?

I actually enjoyed having a roommate from a different country - the Osaka province of Japan, in my case. She came to be my roommate for one semester in my second year of college, and she and I liked each other right away. Her friends all liked me too...they kept calling me "kawaii" (cute). I showed them all around the campus, showed them were they could eat, study, buy books, do sightseeing, etc. Sometimes I helped them with their English language studies. They even thought it was cool that I decorated my side of the room with my plushies, assorted toys and Cars 2 wall stickers.

I began to feel a kind of "safety" with the exchange students because I could tell that they didn't feel pressured to "give up childish things" and "be cool" the way American girls my age did. These were girls from the ages of 18-22 and they were telling me all about the cartoon/Disney characters they liked, their trips to Disneyland Tokyo, etc. Makes me wonder if I'd fit in better at a Japanese University than I do at an American one. My roommate also loved monkeys and Winnie the Pooh, so whenever I saw anything that pertained to her interests, I got it for her as a gift.

Anyway, to answer the OP's question, perhaps it would help if you asked your roommate to tell you about his home, or if you showed him around campus, even if it's just your favorite places. If your roommate came abroad with a group of friends/classmates, it might be nice if you got to know his friends, as well. Also, having an idea of one another's likes and dislikes/pet peeves is always good in a roommate relationship.

Hope some of this helps.

Well, he was watching a show about a practice (Spirit Mediums) that I was raised to believe it was wrong to go to them. (Whether you should actually watch a show about that is a different question.) My religion does have teachings that consider the practice to be something you shouldn't do. Turns out that it is acceptable in his culture, (and I was unaware) and he got offended that I would tell him how to practice the gospel. He might not have been aware of the teaching of it. The bible after all, does condemn the practice. I meant to just ask him to change the channel, (and I told him the church disapproves of the practice.)

That sounds like it could have happened to anyone.

Tell him you're sorry. You didn't mean to offend him. Tell him you didn't mean to tell him how to practice the gospel. Tell him you were just surprised, because you knew he was (name of religious affiliation) just like you, and you were told in Church that that was wrong.

If his tv viewing preferences turn out to be a problem, you could buy a separate smaller tv or watch on your computer, or buy some earphones intended for shooting a gun, or spend a lot of time listening to music with your headphones on, or if you have a gaming system, introduce him to a game you can both enjoy together.

If he wasn't aware of that teaching before, and you both go to a religious school, it'll probably come up in a course, right?

Let him hear that from his professors, and in Church. Since he is a practicing (name of religious affiliation), being told "the Church says this," probably offended him more than he would have been if you'd simply said "Really? I was told by my (name of religious leader) that that was not OK. He said (whatever the reason). Interesting."

Sorry to burst your bubble but there is no right or wrong way of believing.