When do you tell a teacher you have Aspergers

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I strongly suspect I have Aspergers, but cannot pursue an official diagnosis right now.

I am back in school for music composition, and most of my schooling is in a one-on-one lesson. I am wondering when/if I should explain to my teacher(s) about Aspergers.

I have tried to explain how I'd like to be taught. But I don't think it comes across as strongly as "I NEED to be taught this way."

For example, I told one teacher that I wanted to be given the "big picture" with all the rules about how to do something right up front. But, she basically countered and said that knowing the rules ahead of time would interfere with my creativity. So, she gives me assignments that are very vague which we will then discuss (and fix) at the next lesson. I don't know how to make her get that this method increases my anxiety and *that* is what interferes with my creativity. Instead of being able to adapt within the rules, I am frozen.

I told one of my other teachers that I learn best by observing and that I basically grew up "parallel" to popular culture (including a basic disinterest in popular music.) He looked at me like I was strange, but at least he accepted what I said. I don't know if I should explain to him further why I am the way I am.

I think my teachers are afraid that if I do too much observing and I know too many rules, I will be too much of a copycat. But I know myself, and I know that I won't be. I will feel more comfortable with some sense of boundaries and find my own voice within them, which will reduce my anxiety and help the creativity flow. It will also give me time to evaluate the rules.

Igh, vague stuff, I feel for you...
I tell them when it becomes necessary for me to have them adjust something for me to able to do it all. Like when I've been given an assignment I simply cant do, dont understand - then they need to adjust it for me and for them to do that I must explain to them that I have a disorder.

Self-diagnosis is not a thing. You are not diagnosed, therefor you don't know that your issues stem from being on the spectrum, AND you don't have the "right" to special help in school, to have assignments made for your way of learning. I mean, that is something that would be great for ALL students, who wouldn't want assignments created specifically for their preferred way of learning? But you're only entitled to it if you have a diagnosis.

You cant tell your teachers you have aspergers just because you think you do... So I would advice you to turn to a psychologist with your concerns.

"I told one of my other teachers that I learn best by observing and that I basically grew up "parallel" to popular culture (including a basic disinterest in popular music.) He looked at me like I was strange,"
He looked at you like that because its a weird thing to say. The second part, I mean, its just not relevant and he probably reacted to that.

The thing here is: To demand that your teacher does extra work for your sake, more than they do for another student, you need a diagnosis.
If you need special help, you have to have a diagnosis in order to have any right to demand it, thats just how the system works, unfortunately.

Well, the discussion about the popular culture was relevant because he was talking about popular music, and I had to explain why I am very unfamiliar with popular music.

Most everything else you said, I kind of figured. So, thanks for that confirmation, even though it doesn't really help my situation.

In a private learning environment, I don't know how I'd be asking for more than what would be done for other students. I teach privately, and while I have a general order/guideline for how I will teach my students, none of my students follow the exact same path as any other. And there are plenty of times where I have to try a completely different approach for one student (at least for a while.) In fact, I currently have one Autistic student, and another student that is dyslexic. Both have required a tweaking in the normal strategy. That is one of the benefits of private teaching - it is normally a bit customized.

But, maybe I am seeing things wrong there. No matter. I guess I will just have to keep quiet about it until at least I get a diagnosis. Which won't be at least until I am out of school, I think. So, it is a moot point.

I can't help feeling that even though it's true that officially you can't demand special help and adjustments unless or until you have an official diagnosis of anything, isn't it also true that the best teaching in a one-on-one situation, such as this indeed is, takes into account the style of thinking the student has anyway, spectrum issues or not?

The OP is having one-on-one lessons, meaning that if the teacher were to adapt to something the student responds to better, it's no harm no foul to anyone. There isn't a whole class of other students being affected by that. It sounds like the teacher just needs to alter a couple of approaches, not make massive changes.

And whether or not these issues are being caused by Asperger's, just the fact that the OP experiences something differently in a way he or she has already identified in itself ("I work better with the bigger picture") should be taken into account by a teacher if asked, especially in a one-on-one lesson where nobody is affected by the special request.

YES, getting a diagnosis would mean these changes would HAVE to happen, job done, no arguments, simple as that. But even without one, even without having a name to put to the challenges, why shouldn't the teacher be flexible enough to just say, okay, lets try it your way?

Analogy:
Someone with light sensitive eyes shouldn't have to get a doctor's note just to ask for the curtain to be drawn or to sit in the shadier part of the room, for example. Perhaps their light sensitivity is actually part of a medical condition with a name, or perhaps it's just not even, it's just an ordinary preference. But either way, shouldn't he be able to ask for to sit somewhere else?

It's as simple as that in my view.

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I would only disclose I have Asperger's to someone with whom I have a trusting relationship. People tend lack knowledge pertaining to Asperger's--and hence, have negative preconceived notions about it. It's not necessarily because they are willfully ignorant, or that they are "typical NT's." When one has a lack of knowledge about something, one tends to have a distorted view of that something, borne out of vague impressions.

All you have to say to the teacher is that what you state is your optimal "learning style." The theory pertaining to "optimal learning style," though probably not expressed in precisely that way, is taught in education courses nowadays.

It's true, when one is teaching something like art, one tends to want to have the student purge preconceived notions; many of these preconceived notions are expressed, or augmented, by "rules." Therefore, they must be purged/expunged/erased as well. The teacher wants you to, in a sense, start over with a "clean slate."

Yes, "optimal learning style" is the perfect term -- I think that's what I was reaching for but that term wasn't coming to me.

Without even having to bring up Asperger's, the OP deserves for his teacher to simply hear him out and implement a few adjustments that would better suit his optimal learning style, in a nutshell.

You can't tell someone you have Asperger's unless you know for sure. Go to a doctor and get diagnosed if you want to.

But, for now, tell her you have an alternative way of learning.

I am in my early 30s and was not diagnosed until recently. However if I had known earlier I still would not have told very many people. The only people now who really know about my condition are my immediate family and my boss. It actually took me a while to tell my boss but I decided to do it because I thought he should know that it is an issue that could affect my work but it is something that I am working on and getting therapy for. But for the most part I am against telling people about it.

A good teacher should adapt.

I explain I'm confused when I am and I think it's also apparent. I also start to feel upset and it shows that I am getting frustrated and am not able to understand and follow through.

As long as I let some emotional distress about feeling confused show, not anger with the teacher, but rather putting my effort into following directions and when I can't, I try harder and let the strain show and talk about what I can't do, sometimes ask for the directions to be broken down then the teacher can see. If they are competent they can change their style.

Could you be having trouble translating verbal instructions into the non language activity of composing music? Perhaps there is a compromise possible where the teacher could help you see or try out the big picture without breaking everything down into rules. But I understand the need to break things down to learn.

I'm in the camp of follow your gut. Your gut is telling you that these two specific situations might respond well to increased sharing. That sounds right to me. More so than in traditional classrooms, your one-on-one teachers are more invested in helping you succeed.

You do NOT need a diagnosis to have a relevant and personal discussion with a teacher. Such as..."I would like your help in understanding the school work. I wonder if I may have Asperger's because I identify with the needs to have ________ explanations/help."

Professionals that I've met have explained that adult diagnoses are not relevant until it helps the understanding move forward. So, for someone like you who is not a little kid, I would think similar advice applies. You can have a discussion without absolutes to move a discussion forward. It may move in a direction different than you thought, but that's life--it's probably moving in an okay direction to assist you. And teachers at your age may have more insight on whether and how to get a diagnosis if it will be relevant to helping you succeed.

good luck.

Thanks for all the advice, everyone. I am finding it very helpful and have a lot to think about before I register for classes for the fall.

It is interesting that my composition teacher said that he could teach me counterpoint as well. I may have missed a hint that he was really telling me that I *should* study counterpoint with him instead of the other teacher.

So, it is possible to not take lessons with that other teacher and take them with my primary teacher instead. And it would definitely be OK to have this personal discussion with him.

Of course it's possible to combine lessons with one teacher

From what you mentioned, this is a private tutoring situation; am I right?

The other teacher might not like that situation, though, since it is cutting into his/her income.

I guess, in this case, what matters is the trust you have "invested" (both meanings--money and investment of time/mind) in either teacher.

I am in a private tutoring teacher in both situations.

My composition teacher is my primary teacher, and I will be taking composition lessons every semester (4 left.) My counterpoint teacher is a secondary teacher. I am only required to take one more semester of counterpoint in my program, but I have much more to learn beyond that and could continue.

Yes, I have thought about how my counterpoint teacher might react. I haven't figured out how much that will bother me. Part of the decision process is knowing that my husband and I are paying for my education, and since I have a choice, what is the best one.

I see good and bad about staying with this teacher. I do not find her easy to learn from, but I do like talking to her and it does help to get a female perspective in composition. We have talked some about that already. SOOOOO....it is a hard call. I don't want to switch teachers just because I find someone hard to learn from, but should I? It may help me grow to stay under her and get used to it. Hmmmm...

I believe you should choose the teacher whom you believe will convey to you the most knowledge and wisdom.

don't choose the hardest path just because it's hard and *might* be good for you. I have a master's degree and know many people that tried that approach. They were miserable until they followed a path that felt more comfortable to them/like they were in the right skin.

even in early childhood development, we know that the activities that build self esteem lead to a child's healthy sense of self and a probable lifetime of happiness.

Unless you are trying to get special treatment, there is no reason to tell your teacher or school.