I cant handle school anxiety anymore?

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im 15, and I have aspergers, ADHD, OCD, and Bipolar, and I get anxious because of crowds, noise, change, work method, and because now I dont even staynin class anymore, i just stay in IRR offices and have a paraprofessional follow me around, and I hate my paraprofessional, I still get anxious, I have bad grades, and I dont know what to do. Im thinking of dropping out. Also, my mom says "you only have 20 days of school left, deal with it, next year you're going to Cumberland Academy." which is a private school. And i find thqt statement ridiculous and an insult. What do I do?

Is it just 20 more days? It means you have to go there only 20 more times. And every time you go the amount decreases to 19, 18, 17... soon there will be only 1 day left. You can tell yourself "Only 20 more days of this", "Only 19 more days of this" when you feel bad. It helps.

Since there is almost end of the year there is no much else you can do (except learning if you are "in danger"). If it was start of the year you would try to get hometeaching but at the moment the year will finish before you get one. You have to survive it. I realize it might be hard, especially since your grades are poor. BTW,the grades are because of your issues or simple laziness? If the issues are the cause of bad grades - It's bad to hear, I'm sorry for you. But in case you just didn't care about learning for the whole year and suddenly are getting problems and it is the cause of enchanted anxiety (I believe it wasn't that bad the whole year since you could think about a change ealrier) it's only your fault, next time you will remember to learn systematically so you won't end up with so much work at the end.

I am not sure how your school is like but the 15 year old teenagers in our country are getting the national end of middle school exams right after Easter (the exams are scary but not that hard, and you don't have to care about the outcome as long as you are already accepted to next school - some children must get a good score to fight for a place in an exclusive school). After that they will be quite free, no matter of outcome (I believe you shouldn't have less than 30% if you want to pass though, but the exams are just too easy to get less than 30%, I don't know anyone who didn't pass those). Only people who are unhappy with their end year grades or ones that are so bad they are in danger of staying a year (your grades aren't THAT bad, are they?) are forced to stay in school and work hard till end of year. Others might just skip some classes as long as their parents agree since there is nothing new for them anyway - they would only listen and watch the ambitious/lazy ones fighting for their grades. Of course most people stay in school anyway just in case but I believe you would be able to use the possibility since the school environment is so hard for you. But you would have to make sure the grades (and the amount of days you spent in school) allow you to pass the year. You don't want to come to the end of year ceremony and realize you are forced so stay there another year just because you didn't think about it.

With OCD, if I can get to that zen spot where it's okay to do a health precaution and also okay not to do it, that's a pretty good place to be.

This brings to mind a quote
"You can do for 1 day what you can not do forever"

In other words take it one day at a time and soon the 20 days will be over - I know it isn't an ideal solution, but sometimes it is all we have.

Going to a specialized can be a nightmare. But as I have personally seen, it can be a boon too. A friend's kid went to one such in New York (Rebecca School) and he says he has never been this happy at school ever in his life.

I remember, school was one prolonged nightmare... There were certain times per day and per week, when I was so anxious, I would shiver almost uncontrollably, waiting for the lesson to end, and at the same time being panicaly afraid of that end, I'd stare at the clock and would be physically frightened of the bell ringing in a few second... Having Asperger's and extreme OCD was really difficult, but I alwasy was like a double person- one, who suffers all the torments of OCD and anxiety, and the other, who cautiously observes it and tries to mitigate it or regulate, but, most times, to no avail... As a few years passed now, I think it is best to find confidence in one's self, then it's far easier... Most of the time I was tormented not only from within in the form of OCD and anxiety, but also by people, my classmates and random people in school, by teachers and whomever else, who terrified and (in the case of my classmates) bullied me for years... Yet, still, I felt better, when I turned into myself! If you don't believe in who you are ad what you do, people can make a bigger impact on you, you are weak. But if you feel alright with yourself, others fade away and eventually, do not treat you as harsh, as they used to, or you do not notice it...